B*tch Please

Posted in Queens, Tarot Court Cards | 10 comments

B*tch Please

Following yesterday’s post about the reversed Knights and Kings called 8 Types of W*nkers, it is only fair that we do a post on the reversed Queens too. You may think it’s unfair of me to only write about four different types of bitches when I’ve listed a whopping eight ¬†types of wankers… but then life isn’t fair and I don’t necessarily feel the need to explain myself. Feel free to guess which of the four Queens would have stated that ūüėČ The Reversed Queen of Wands. The ultimate drama queen. No show can go on without her and she will be centre stage. Upstage her at your own peril! In a relationship, you become her accessory if you are good looking (but not too good looking!) or her bank manager if you are rich. Either way, you play a role to make her star shine brighter. Forget about equality and for chrissake sake don’t embarrass her by not getting your teeth bleached! She learns only from the best and you can expect an autobiography by someone famous for being famous on her bedside table. The Reversed Queen of Cups. Look up the word manipulative in the dictionary and you might find a picture of this Queen under it. She loves to use guilt-inducing tears to get a reaction. She’s a psychic vampire and usually suffers from addiction to both love and substances. Although she does drama quite well, fame is not as important to the Queen of Cups as it is to the Queen of Wands – she’s happy to have her claws in just one person. You just as often find her in the role of victim as vampire, as she relishes any role which requires fully functioning tear ducts. The Reversed Queen of Swords. Yes, all Queens are drama queens and this one does it with her tongue. She can emasculate you in under 2 seconds. Her sharp words are more often than not accompanied by a steely stare. If there is anything at all not 100% right with you, she will find it and point it out to you. Also, in an argument she is always right – especially when she is wrong. Many men end up emigrating after breaking up with this Queen. Sorry guys, but you can’t get away from her! This is one of the most common types of Queens and one of the reasons men. just. stop. talking. The Reversed Queen of Pentacles. The slob of the Queens. She has let herself go and her children’s nappies are overflowing. Perhaps you vaguely remember that meal she cooked for you in 2010? Ah well, you’re used to microwaved TV dinners by now. Forget about personal comfort and happiness and instead make sure that your kids won’t have to have their teeth pulled before they turn three because your wife couldn’t bother brushing...

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8 Types of W*nkers

Posted in Tarot Court Cards | 6 comments

8 Types of W*nkers

THE 4 KNIGHTS Let’s start with the reversed Knights. Their inner wanker is always close to the surface and doesn’t need much of an invitation to come out to play. These blokes are still young and they wouldn’t know subtle if it hit them in the face. Brimming with over-confidence (read ‘testosterone’) they are eager to put their mark on the world. The Reversed Knight of Wands. It’s no secret that the mark he wants to put on the world is in the form of notches on his bed post. He often has more than one partner on the go and can’t stop himself from flirting. Why should he even need to? He won’t be held accountable for any trespasses – it’s not his fault that he was born¬†irresistible and that women can’t keep their hands off him! Player? Pfffft. He’s just young and sowing his oats! The world should be grateful that he shines the light of the Sun out of all his orifices. Suck it up, suckers! The Reversed Knight of Cups. Moody, brooding, difficult and just a general pain in the *rse. He’s almost always in a bad mood but it’s never his fault. He’s just sensitive and artistic and terribly misunderstood, you see. Yet he has this intensity behind the eyes that draws the ladies in. They seek to ease his suffering. Often quite a lot older than him, they mother him and look after all those boring earthly tasks that his artistic genius shouldn’t have to be bothered with. Manipulative? How dare you suggest such a thing! See, now he’s misunderstood again and off to drown his sorrows in a bottle of cheap red wine. The Reversed Knight of Swords. He is always right. Period. Never mind that he changed his mind just now. He was right then and he is right now and you are always totally wrong. He doesn’t date much. If he trawls the Internet dating sites it’s mostly to find someone to troll and cyber bully. He hates women and doesn’t really try to hide what he thinks of the highly irrational, much weaker sex. Will he ever score? He might occasionally pull because some chick thinks he’s really really clever. Mostly he just rapes women. The Reversed Knight of Pentacles. The thicko of the lot. Definitely more brawn than brains. He covers up his insecurity about lack of intellectual prowess by glassing people or biting their ear off. He likes his women looking like Barbie dolls and assumes that any woman of close to normal intelligence is a Lesbian or worse. You know you’ve accidentally started seeing one of these when you hear the words “What’s an intelligent woman like you doing with a bloke like me?” No matter how great the sex is, you won’t last 48 hours after that sentence has been uttered. THE 4 KINGS Kings...

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The Tarot 10’s in Love

Posted in Tens | 4 comments

The Tarot 10’s in Love

The 10’s are all related to the epic Wheel of Fortune. Hence endings and new beginnings are indicated. The battle between permanence and impermanence is in full swing and change always wins. ¬†There are opportunities both for shutting down and for expansion. So what do the 10’s mean in love and romance readings? 10 of Wands. You or your partner are feeling burdened or even oppressed. For too long now have you been pushing your own needs to one side to¬†accommodate¬†the needs of your partner or other family members, without receiving enough support in return. Your life force has no way to go and avoiding a confrontation is becoming impossible. It can, of course, be avoided through communication but with the 10 of Wands, the situation most likely arose because the two of you didn’t manage a way of communicating your needs to begin with. So buckle down and prepare to clear the air with some relationship drama. Just remember: better out than in. Perhaps you’ll come out the other side… or maybe you’ll come to realise that it’s over. Know that you did all you could and don’t feel bad about getting angry. It happens to the best of us. If you survive as a couple on the other side of a 10 of Wands combustion, you really do need to find a way of communicating and making sure that things are fair and everyone’s needs considered and met – otherwise you’ll just start the build-up for the next blow-out… no matter how good the make-up sex was! In a reading for a single person, this could mean that you’ve worn yourself out having a bit too much ‘fun.’ ¬†Physical exhaustion could be a sign that you need to slow down on the partying. Look for the 7 or 3 of Cups nearby. It could also be an indication that you are burdening yourself with unrealistic expectations of a prince charming ideal that doesn’t exist. The dreamy Page/Princess of Cups together with the 10 of Wands is an example of this. Either way it’s always good to remember to let go and leg God when this card shows up. You’ve been pushing just a bit too hard. Sexually, this card warns you to be very aware of and state your own likes and needs or your energy will get seriously depleted. A reversal of this card usually means that you are coming out the other side after a tough time. You can let go of your burdens and relax. The next Ace of Wands is waiting just around the corner… 10 of Cups. To a couple the 10 of Cups signifies relationship bliss and family happiness. You look to the future together and start a family. You welcome new children into your life. Everything is pretty hunky dory which makes it a bit boring to talk about. But...

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The Emotional Energy Tarot Body Spread

Posted in Divination, Healing | 6 comments

The Emotional Energy Tarot Body Spread

‚ÄúOne thing you can’t hide – is when you’re crippled inside.‚ÄĚ ‚Äē John Lennon   I used my mini Hanson-Roberts as the cards are just the right size! In the diagram above, you will find information on how the emotions are connected to physiological processes. I copied the template above for learning purposes as well as to create a personalised layout sheet for the cards. And here is a close-up of the energy body reading I did for myself… Now you try it!   Angel Blessings...

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The Ultimate “Will He Come Back?” Tarot Spread

Posted in Divination | 213 comments

The Ultimate “Will He Come Back?” Tarot Spread

This is one of the most often asked questions I get as a Tarot Reader. ¬†It is hard to move on without knowing the answer if we still love the one who left, even if we know in our minds that moving on is for the best. In some cases, when it’s clear that you have had a narrow escape, it might be better to suggest cord cutting rather than looking into if the abuser will be back… but in the end it’s not for the reader to judge. We all have free will and it is a well-known fact that many many people on this planet choose to live in co-dependent and/or toxic relationships. Sometimes relationships fall apart and we are quick to judge the other person, blaming the breakdown on them when really we know that it takes two and you are just as responsible as they for creating the dynamic you had and that led to the breakdown. Anyone who has been around for a while will want to avoid taking sides when the relationships of friends fall apart for this very reason. Those who do take sides often had a vested interest in seeing the relationship end to begin with, or they are manipulated into taking sides. There are ways to supporting the one who is hurting without playing the blame game, and I say that having lived long enough to play every position in the field… But I digress. I woke up this morning with the image of a door-shaped spread in my head: If what you desire deep down is hidden behind a magic door, what would the door look like? What kind of lock would it have? What is the key like? Are you holding the key? What is the handle like? What does it feel like to push the door open and step through? Granted, if applied to the desire to reconnect with an ex, this implies that unlocking the door to an AWOL lover is in our control. We all know it isn’t as simple as that. However, the cards can give us clues about what we can and can’t do to reconnect in this situation. The Magic Door Spread truly is a magical spread in that it sheds light on all aspects of the desire to reconnect as well as the best way forward (if there is one). 1. Your motivation – The first card shows you the real underlying reason for your desire to reconnect. It indicates if you want them back to soothe a bruised ego or if there is true love there. It tells you if you feel that you didn’t learn all you needed to learn or if you are just struggling with letting go. 2. & 3. What you had – These two cards represent the relationship dynamic you had in the past and...

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