Are you ready for the next step in lovemaking? There is getting turned on… and then there is getting the full fireworks going! If you’re just after getting wet/hard and having and orgasm, this article isn’t for you. There is a different beginning, middle and end to sacred (tantric) love-making. It’s optional to be fully present when you have sex but in Tantra or Sacred Sexuality full embodiment of the Soul is what brings about sacred union and allows you to experience the divinity of your partner. So how can you become fully present and start experiencing the full presence of your Beloved? How do you embody God/dess and SEE God/dess in the Other? In essence, how do experience the bliss of sacred union which by far transcends a normal orgasm? 1. Slow down. Use your breath to slow right down. As you get turned on, the normal physiological breath response is for your breathing to become faster. But it works the other way around too: You can use your breath to control your physiology. By slowing your breath down, you can make sure that you establish a soulful connection at the start of your lovemaking and also make sure that it lasts longer. It’s not so much about being in control as it is about being fully present and aware. If you allow your breath run away with you, you very easily stop making love and start rushing toward a physical climax which really isn’t very different to using the other person to masturbate with. (Associated Tarot card: The Fool) 2. Make eye contact. The eyes are the mirror of the Soul. You can’t enter into your own world and cut your self off from your lover if you keep looking into his or her eyes. Gazing deep into your lover’s eyes can feel quite scary and intimidating if you are not used to it. That’s OK! Don’t be afraid to speak your truth and if you feel that it is difficult for you to maintain eye contact, simply say so. Take a break and just enjoy other, non-visual sensations until you are ready to reconnect. There is no need to force eye contact – it’s love-making, not a staring competition. Use your eyes to communicate (give/receive) messages of love. (Associated Tarot card: Temperance) 3. Keep communicating. Don’t be afraid to speak about what comes up for you during love-making. What you process together can be integrated by both parties and help you both to grow as well as grow closer to each other. Equally, don’t be afraid of silence – a lot can be communicated through touch! (Associated Tarot card: The Magician) Remember, communication is not just about speaking – it’s just as much about listening – actively and without judgement. To listen actively means to acknowledge what the other person shared in a caring and appropriate manner. 4. Focus on the connection....Read More »
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