Dating the King of Swords

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The King of Swords is the King of the Intellect. He’s extremely gifted when it comes to logical, linear thinking, problem solving and Sudoku. You probably won’t stand a chance against him at a game of chess either. His intellectual capacity can be intimidating to less gifted people and we often find him in a position of authority, such as a doctor, lawyer or university professor. If his mind is in overdrive (due to an inability to ground mental energy), he can get anxious and when he gets anxious he can turn to quite nasty and devious ways of finding relief.  Check out 8 Types of W*ankers for more on the reversed King of Swords. Pros: He will dazzle pretty much anyone with his intellect. You won’t often get told ‘you could do better than him’ because the King of Swords is usually highly revered in our (still) patriarchal society. Your conversations will be stimulating and could potentially help expand your own mind. He’s not only employed – you are guaranteed not to find him working in the Coop, stacking shelves. If you want a high flier with lots of status, he’s the one! He’s not the jealous type. Cons: Can be cynical and/or arrogant. Sensitivity is not his forte. If you try to turn to him for a shoulder to cry on, he might go all ‘Spock’ on you. He may find it difficult to let go and just enjoy himself in the sack. Too much going on upstairs. Passion and romance are concept that are quite alien to this guy but he’s smart enough to do what’s expected of him… So don’t demand warmth with it as well – that’s too tall an order for this King! Type of date he prefers: Because he’s aware of his own social standing as well as where to find quality food and entertainment, he’s likely to take you to a Guide Micheline type restaurant or a classical concert. Time from your first date until you introduce him to your parents: Along with the King of Pentacles, this is one out of only about two men your dad will approve of, so if you worry about parental approval he may well be worth hanging on to! He will meet the parents well within the first 6 months of the relationship. The only problem is that he’s so darn busy! Wedding style: Nothing too extravagant but it will be classic, elegant and have a pared-down feel. The King of Swords is a lover of minimalist elegance, as it helps him declutter his very busy mind. He’s likely to sneer at anything remotely vulgar, over the top or with too many frills. Type of dad he would make: His children’s education will be his top priority. He may be more at ease with sons than with daughters. He thrives on helping his kids learn the ins and outs...

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Dating the King of Pentacles

Posted in Kings | 4 comments

Dating the King of Pentacles

“Carnal love: a practical man’s love. A love you can see, touch, and taste if you’re kinky. If you can’t hear it, you’re probably better suited to its more abstract form.” ― Benson Bruno The King of Pentacles is the King of Practicality. He’s a no-nonsense family provider and businessman. He doesn’t waste time on dreams that can’t be turned into (profitable) reality. He can be intelligent but is usually not too imaginative. He prefers the tried and trusted to novel ideas…. Unless, of course, there is a large sum of money attached to the end of it. He’s intuitive when it comes to making a buck but doesn’t usually extend his gut instincts to serve him in other areas. Because the material realm is his domain, he can also be quite health conscious. Traditionally a Virgo male, he can even be fastidious to the point of OCD. Being male, he tends to not air his worries but tucks them in the gut where they can wreak havoc with his digestive system. His shady (reversed) aspects can be seen over at 8 Types of W*ankers. Pros: He’s responsible. Stuff matters to this guy and he takes a lot of pride in his work. This is one man you won’t have to teach how to floss. It’s more likely that he’s the one who’ll remind you daily about how flossing adds six years to your life. If you like the idea of a big garden but aren’t too keen on doing the actual gardening, he’s your man! Being quite conventional, he’s one of the safest bets if you’re looking to start a family. He takes his role as breadwinner very seriously which allows you to focus on raising the children should you so wish. Cons: Can take the whole ‘cleanliness is next to godliness’ thingy a tad too far. You shouldn’t have to worry about having a shower before sex every time on your honeymoon, should you? Nor should you have the man of the house walk behind you and check your dusting with his index finger. And god help you if you put his carefully arranged kitchen knives in the wrong order! Very careful about spending and expects the same of you, especially after the initial courtship period has ended. Be prepared to justify any purchase as useful. Not very subtle when it comes to using words in the game of seduction. The King or Knight of Wands can be blunt too but are usually better at carrying it off because they somehow manage to make you laugh at the same time. Out of all his mates, you can count on him to be the first to reach the pipe and slippers stage. Type of date he prefers: He’ll worry about how it ‘should’ be done. Traditional wining and dining is on the menu in other words. He might also try to impress...

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