How to Know if Letting Go of a Lover is for Your Highest Good

Posted in Divination, Relationships | 4 comments

How to Know if Letting Go of a Lover is for Your Highest Good

Letting go of someone you still love is one of the hardest things you will ever have to do in life. Many find it so difficult that they would rather stay and suffer instead. Because let’s face it, most uf us are decent people and decent people do not enjoy breaking the heart of another person… And when it is the heart of someone we love on some level, it hurts acutely because we feel their pain as our own (especially true for the HSP). There are probably as many reasons as there are people for why things do not always work out even when two people love each other. And then there is the classic… You were a great match for a while but then you grew apart. It happens even to those who swore it would never happen to them (I know because I used to be one of them). None of us like to admit defeat… So how do you know when it is time to say enough? It can be tempting to try to fix things and to examine the relationship dynamic endlessly for faulty patterns. That is all well and good if both of you are willing to do the work. But in the end, the person motivated to pack their suitcases is usually the one who has tried every trick in the book to resolve any long-standing relationship issues… while the other partner has just settled (big sighs). So on one level you already know that you are ready to say your farewells. It is at this stage many people turn to me as a reader and while I am happy to read on the situation, these days I will only read on what is the Highest Good for YOU in this situation. I cannot read on the other person without their permission. Besides, it really doesn’t matter what they do or where they are at with it all for the purpose of making the final decision. All that matters in this situation is that you do what is right for YOU (as you are the only person you can change) – and that is soemthing you can definitely use the cards to look at. So here is a little Tarot spread I created for that very purpose… You cannot make somebody else happy by sacrificing your own happiness. 1. Your relationship contentment levels – This card will uncover how even the flow of give and take is or if there is particular issue that keeps rearing its head. If a card that seems to indicate perfect contentment in every way, such as The Star or the 2 of Cups shows up here, I would encourage you to look a bit deeper by pulling an additional card. 2. What you need for your Soul’s growth – This is something you need on a very...

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The Major and Minor Arcana in Love and Relationship Tarot Readings

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The Major and Minor Arcana in Love and Relationship Tarot Readings

  Today I thought we would break the structure of the Tarot deck down in a way that gives you the bigger picture in love and relationship readings. It is always useful to look at the bigger picture first when analysing a Tarot spread, before delving into specific card/positional and combination meanings. You may already know that the Major Arcana deals primarily with the main spiritual lessons in life and that we all embark on the same Fool’s (or Hero’s) journey, meeting with the Major Arcana archetypes at various stages in life. This typically happens in a non-linear fashion, even though most of us obviously encounter the Mother/Father archetypes early on in life in shape of the Empress and Emperor etc. Here are some useful hints about the Majors to bear in mind when you first take in an overview of your love Tarot spread layout: * If there are many Majors (3 or more, or more than half in a larger spread), the relationship typically has a fated element which to some extent will limit your freedom of choice. To understand if this harks back to a past life connection/lesson, you want to look out specifically for the Karmic Cards. * When a Major Arcana card shows up in a position that describes a current or future lover, this is or will be a key player in your life. * A Major Arcana card as the outcome card makes the outcome of the relationship more fixed. However, choice about how you relate to this outcome is never taken from you and will determine how you progress from there. * A Major Arcana card signifying you means that you are learning an important life lesson through the relationship. * Understanding a bit about the anima/animus is very helpful and will give you instant insights about the meaning of the presence of the High Priestess and the Magician in a Tarot spread. In a nutshell it means a greater risk of projection of desired qualities onto your partner. * The Empress/Emperor often indicates parental issues contributing to an unhealthy pattern of relating. * The Lovers does not always mean the perfect relationship but can often indicate a choice situation and a lesson about not moving forward until your heart and mind are aligned. * Not even Majors should be read in isolation from other cards. They act as individual glyphs in a Tarot spread. Together with other Major or Minor Arcana glyphs, the sentence spelled by the cards can change drastically. As an example, The Sun with the 5 of Wands (Saturn in Leo) can indicate that ego battles are destroying your chances of relationship happiness rather than the sunny outcome you might expect. Now, let us shift our focus to the Minor Arcana… Looking at a spread containing many Minors, you will instantly get a picture of where the emphasis lies in any particular relationship...

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Lenormand Meanings for Love & Relationships

Posted in Lenormand | 10 comments

Lenormand Meanings for Love & Relationships

The Lenormand system of divination based on playing cards keeps gaining popularity so it seems timely to introduce these cards here, with meanings that are specific to love & relationships. If there is an interest in studying the Lenormand cards, please let me know in the comments below. I’m quite happy to add Lenormand card meanings and combinations to our vast and ever-expanding metaphysical online library. The following keywords relating specifically to love and relationships are meant as additions to the standard nouns and adjectives for each card (2-3 of each), so if you haven’t sorted out what those are yet, I suggest you do so first.  There are quite a few free Lenormand learning resources you can Google if you do not wish to invest in a book.   I recommend downloading Sandy Cristels FREE Interactive Lenormand for learning purposes. For those of you looking for something to hold in your hands, I recommend The Enchanted Lenormand kit which includes a phenomenal introduction to the Lenormand by one of the main authorities on card divination, Caitlín Matthews, as well as a pretty and easy-to-read-with Lenormand deck. Please bear in mind that the Lenormand cards are always read together with other cards. Each card is a ‘cipher’ with different possible meanings and gains its precise meaning in synthesis with other cards. The cards also operate on the near vs. far principle and the meanings change accordingly. It is a complex system to learn so be patient with yourself and allow your learning to take as long as it takes. It’s all good as long as you’re having fun! LENORMAND KEYWORDS FOR LOVE & RELATIONSHIP READINGS 1. RIDER (9 of Hearts) – a young & energetic lover, flirtatious young man, news related to a lover 2. CLOVER (6 of Diamonds) – getting lucky (pulling, one night stand), taking a chance on someone new 3. SHIP (10 of Spades) – yearning for love, overseas lover, love cruise (honeymoon on water) 4. HOUSE (King of Hearts) – a feeling of ‘coming home,’ settling down, stability in love 5. TREE (7 of Hearts) – love prospers, healthy connection, lasting love, rooted love, lover is a healer 6. CLOUDS (King of Clubs) – depression threatens love, misunderstandings, pessimism about romance 7. SNAKE (Queen of Clubs) – a narcissistic or deceptive lover, cheating, playing mind-games, jealousy 8. COFFIN (9 of Diamonds) – end of a love affair/relationship, stagnancy, death of a lover 9. BOUQUET (Queen of Spades) – the importance of gift giving in love, reciprocal and enjoyable connection, beauty 10. SCYTHE (Jack of Diamonds) – sudden (unexpected) break-up, angry or mean-spirited lover, being on a break 11. WHIP (Jack of Clubs) – sexual intercourse, BDSM, healthy libido, physical abuse 12. BIRDS (7 of Diamonds) – internet dating, sexting, phone sex, romantic text messages, a chatty couple 13. CHILD (Jack of Spades) – innocence, virginity, puppy love, naïve lover 14. FOX (9...

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Givers, Takers and Matchers in Love and in the Tarot

Posted in Divination | 10 comments

Givers, Takers and Matchers in Love and in the Tarot

In all forms of relating, people can be divided into three main categories: Givers, Takers and Matchers. Apparently, according to Adam Grant, the ones who have the highest success rates in terms of establishing happy long-term relationships are also the ones with the highest number of failed past relationships. Once the minority Giver finally(!) learns to navigate a world full of takers and matchers, they have a better than average chance to experience happiness in love. Everybody loves a Giver because a Giver is someone who expresses loving care in practical ways which makes the receiver feel seen and appreciated. This quality is exactly what makes Givers such highly prized prey to Takers in particular and this is why so many Givers find themselves taken advantage of to the point of feeling and being completely sucked dry both emotionally and financially. Givers should seek out other givers in order to establish happy and rewarding long-term relationships. Unfortunately, there is a natural pull toward takers but that is mainly up until the point the giver becomes aware of the need to be needed and addresses his or her boundary issues. The Taker is essentially a narcissist. He is only in it for whatever the Giver has to offer and has no real personal interest in or care for the other person. He is however the one who knows how to charm, seduce and sweep someone off their feet and straight into a ‘manipulationship.’ Can a Taker change? Only if they learn to become motivated by love rather than fear. But let’s realistic about how utterly terrifying this is to someone who has lead their whole life wearing a mask to the world… They can change but it is about as rare as being witness to a werewolf transformation on the Full Moon… The Matcher is the one who keeps tabs on giving and receiving. If they give you something, they’ll expect something back and will resent you if the gift is not reciprocated in the way and the time-frame they expect it to be. They will also feel obliged to reciprocate any gift you give to them. They have a transactional mindset and are quite shut down at the level of the heart out of fear of being short-changed. In business, it certainly pays off to be a Matcher… but in love, constantly keeping tabs kills any spontaneity and the underlying fear of not getting back what you give out seriously block love from flowing freely. We may not be able to choose with whom we fall in love but we do get to choose how much we give away of both our own energy and our belongings… This is what sound personal boundaries are all about: to sometimes (in the interest of self-preservation) override the heart with the mind… Until such time the powers that be see fit to bring a...

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11 Keys – An Advanced Love Tarot Spread

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  This advanced Tarot spread is inspired by years of reading the 9 Square intuitively, observing patterns and listening to the whispers of the cards themselves. In the past few months, I have felt a need to add two cards to the square when doing love Tarot readings… and then one day the penny dropped: each of the card positions correspond to Major Arcana 1-11, with the Hierophant as the central card and Justice as the outcome. In other words – perfection in terms of looking at long term potential with the Hierophant and Justice being two of the main marriage cards. Roughly then you get the following positional meanings: 1. House of the Magician – Expression of masculine energy in the relationship. Point of initiation. The beginning. Ability to give love. Communication. 2. House of the High Priestess – Receptivity. Intuitive guidance. What your gut is telling you about the relationship. Ability to receive love. 3. House of the Empress – The quality of nurturing inherent or lacking in this relationship. The chaos element. Mother issues (his or hers). 4. House of the Emperor – Leadership ability. Organisation. Protection. Father issues (his or hers). 5. House of the Hierophant – Long term potential is seen is this central card. How one or both feel about commitment. 6. House of the Lovers – How you connect at the level of the heart. 7. House of the Chariot – Potential power struggles. 8. House of Strength – Lust, sexual attraction and also your ability to ‘play’ together. 9. House of the Hermit – Need for (and ability to give) space/alone time 10. House of the Wheel of Fortune – The fated element. What the next turn of the Wheel is likely to bring. If one of the karmic cards are found here (Wheel, Moon, Justice, Judgement, Devil, Tower & The World), what happens next is predestined and cannot be avoided. 11. House of Justice – Most likely long term outcome for the relationship. Read together with the card in the House of the Hierophant to see if marriage/settling down together is a likely outcome. Each card becomes a key that unlocks the full meaning of the house in the context of the relationship you are reading on. SAMPLE READING A few sample interpretations from this reading: Temperance in the House of the Empress is a good sign that the relationship brings healing with regards to mother issues for one or both people in this relationship. 3 of Swords in the House of the Emperor indicates that one of the main challenges in this relationship is father issues, which seems to interfere and bring an element of emotional distance to these lovers. However, the awareness of this can bring healing. The Chariot in the House of the Hierophant together with the 9 of Cups in the House of Justice tells us...

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