How to Know if Letting Go of a Lover is for Your Highest Good

Letting go of someone you still love is one of the hardest things you will ever have to do in life. Many find it so difficult that they would rather stay and suffer instead. Because let’s face it, most of us are decent people and decent people do not enjoy breaking the heart of another person… And when it is the heart of someone we love on some level, it hurts acutely because we feel their pain as our own (especially true for the HSP).

There are probably as many reasons as there are people for why things do not always work out even when two people love each other. And then there is the classic… You were a great match for a while but then you grew apart. It happens even to those who swore it would never happen to them (I know because I used to be one of them). None of us like to admit defeat… So how do you know when it is time to say enough?

It can be tempting to try to fix things and to examine the relationship dynamic endlessly for faulty patterns. That is all well and good if both of you are willing to do the work. But in the end, the person motivated to pack their suitcases is usually the one who has tried every trick in the book to resolve any long-standing relationship issues… while the other partner has just settled (big sighs). So on one level you already know that you are ready to say your farewells. It is at this stage many people turn to me as a reader and while I am happy to read on the situation, these days I will only read on what is the Highest Good for YOU in this situation.

I cannot read on the other person without their permission.

Besides, it really doesn’t matter what they do or where they are at with it all for the purpose of making the final decision. All that matters in this situation is that you do what is right for YOU (as you are the only person you can change) – and that is something you can definitely use the cards to look at. So here is a little Tarot spread I created for that very purpose…

time-to-say-goodbye-tarot-spread

 

You cannot make somebody else happy by sacrificing your own happiness.

1. Your relationship contentment levels – This card will uncover how even the flow of give and take is or if there is particular issue that keeps rearing its head. If a card that seems to indicate perfect contentment in every way, such as The Star or the 2 of Cups shows up here, I would encourage you to look a bit deeper by pulling an additional card.

2. What you need for your Soul’s growth – This is something you need on a very deep soul level right now and to suppress this need would not be beneficial for either of you

3. What is on offer to match your need – Reading this card together with the first two cards can give you quite a lot of detail about the current dynamic/tension

Only pull the next two cards if you realise that it truly IS time to say goodbye…If you are not ready, you need to be in dialogue with your partner to find a resolution together.  What used to be a common sense solution in the past, which is to commit (yes, commit – not try) for a year and a day, still makes sense… If you are not ready to let go, you just aren’t… but to put a time limit on the situation might infuse it with hope. And it could just be that you have lessons to still work through together.

If you do decide to try for a year and a day, do it with all your heart…

4. What action you can take for the Highest Good of All – What to actually do right now… How to go about ending the relationship and what energy to bring to it/shield yourself from. The only two cards that would tell you to do absolutely nothing right now would be the 4 of Swords and the Hanged Man. Basically, they are telling you to wait a while. Trust Spirit to nudge you when the time is right.

5. How to stay whole during the process of taking this action – Because breaking up is fucking hard.

Personally, I would choose to work with an Angel Tarot deck such as the Archangel Power Tarot because the energy of such a deck automatically brings the kind of Light and healing energy needed for a situation like this.

Speaking of Angels, archangel Michael is the Angel to invoke for cutting the emotional cords, archangel Raphael for healing and archangel Raguel for preservation of harmony (as far as this is possible) – especially important when children are involved.

Brightest Blessings,

~ Lisa Frideborg