All Who Want to Save Their Lives Will Lose Them

all who want to save their lives will lose them

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “All who want to come after me must say no to themselves, take up their cross, and follow me. All who want to save their lives will lose them. But all who lose their lives because of me will find them. Why would people gain the whole world but lose their lives? What will people give in exchange for their lives? 
Matthew 16:24-26 CEB

When I was in the occult and the New Age, I tried really hard to save my life. All the practices I engaged in served to prop up a fragile ego, disguised as my ‘Higher Self.’ I can see now how futile that was but when I was in that delusion, I thought I was doing good work. Engaging in ‘inner child work’ and ‘shadow work’ seemed meaningful then, as did ‘aligning with’ or ’embodying’ my ‘Higher Self.’

But the more of this work I did and the more firmly I tied my identity to the numbers of my Numerology or the stars of my Astrology, the more lost I felt. The more Tarot cards I flipped over to affirm myself and my path, the more confused I got.

There was always something missing. So I kept searching and buying more books and courses. Maybe I just needed one more initiation? I was convinced I was already dead to my ego but really, it was my ego driving me along all the way.

I lived for myself. Christ taught us to die to ourselves so that we can live in service to others. Because that is what He did. That is how God operates in the world. This is a path diametrically opposed to that of the occult and the New Age.

The Mysterious Woman

Today’s reading from the Daily Audio Bible ended with this passage from Proverbs 5:1-6

My son, pay attention to my wisdom.
    Bend your ear to what I know,
         so you might remain discreet,
        and your lips might guard knowledge.
 The lips of a mysterious woman drip honey,
    and her tongue is smoother than oil,
    but in the end she is bitter as gall,
    sharp as a double-edged sword.
Her feet go down to death;
    her steps lead to the grave.[a]
She doesn’t stay on the way of life.
    Her paths wander, but she doesn’t know it.

That was me. I didn’t stay on the way of life though I came to know Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour as a teenager. My path did wander and I didn’t know it. Words cannot express how grateful I am to the Lord for bringing me back to the way of life!

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