“Carnal love: a practical man’s love. A love you can see, touch, and taste if you’re kinky. If you can’t hear it, you’re probably better suited to its more abstract form.”
― Benson Bruno
The King of Pentacles is the King of Practicality. He’s a no-nonsense family provider and businessman. He doesn’t waste time on dreams that can’t be turned into (profitable) reality.
He can be intelligent but is usually not too imaginative. He prefers the tried and trusted to novel ideas…. Unless, of course, there is a large sum of money attached to the end of it. He’s intuitive when it comes to making a buck but doesn’t usually extend his gut instincts to serve him in other areas.
Because the material realm is his domain, he can also be quite health conscious. Traditionally a Virgo male, he can even be fastidious to the point of OCD. Being male, he tends to not air his worries but tucks them in the gut where they can wreak havoc with his digestive system. His shady (reversed) aspects can be seen over at 8 Types of W*ankers.
Pros: He’s responsible. Stuff matters to this guy and he takes a lot of pride in his work.
This is one man you won’t have to teach how to floss. It’s more likely that he’s the one who’ll remind you daily about how flossing adds six years to your life.
If you like the idea of a big garden but aren’t too keen on doing the actual gardening, he’s your man!
Being quite conventional, he’s one of the safest bets if you’re looking to start a family. He takes his role as breadwinner very seriously which allows you to focus on raising the children should you so wish.
Cons: Can take the whole ‘cleanliness is next to godliness’ thingy a tad too far. You shouldn’t have to worry about having a shower before sex every time on your honeymoon, should you? Nor should you have the man of the house walk behind you and check your dusting with his index finger. And god help you if you put his carefully arranged kitchen knives in the wrong order!
Very careful about spending and expects the same of you, especially after the initial courtship period has ended. Be prepared to justify any purchase as useful.
Not very subtle when it comes to using words in the game of seduction. The King or Knight of Wands can be blunt too but are usually better at carrying it off because they somehow manage to make you laugh at the same time.
Out of all his mates, you can count on him to be the first to reach the pipe and slippers stage.
Type of date he prefers: He’ll worry about how it ‘should’ be done. Traditional wining and dining is on the menu in other words. He might also try to impress you with a weekend away or an expensive gift on one of your first dates. Like I said – stuff matters to him and he expects you to be impressed by stuff.
Time from your first date until you introduce him to your parents: About three months in as this is the socially acceptable norm. He won’t forget to bring some flowers along for your mum so that’s one less worry!
This is one of the few guys your dad is likely to approve of.
Wedding style: Traditional. White dress. Big cake. You get the choice of ‘Here comes the bride’ or ‘Ave Maria’ – that’s it. Oh, and no making up your own vows unless you want to kill him with worry before the big day.
Type of dad he would make: He’s the type of guy who doesn’t mind changing dirty nappies or doing night feeds. His vision of himself as a good father and provider is very important to his self-esteem. He also won’t mind making sure that you have good quality food in the house at all times because he knows that you are what you eat and he’ll want only the best for his kids.
The college fund will be sizeable by the time your sprogs reach that age. An all around good egg as far as fatherhood is concerned!
His best match: The Queen of Cups as a) she would be able to help him stay in touch with his emotions and keep him young at heart, and b) she would appreciate the stability he provides, greatly improving his self-image. His worst match: The Queen of Wands because she would a) create too much drama and b) be extravagant with her spending.