Four is the number of stability, the home, the physical realm, organisation, security, limitations and mercy. The Tarot 4s often relate to the home environment in love and relationship readings.
4 of Wands. In love and relationship readings, the 4 of Wands represents settling down and moving in together. Or, if you are already living together, you may have achieved a common goal worthy of a celebration.
Either way, this card tells you to celebrate your love for each other and the commitment you share. You are now ready to face the world, hand in hand. This is a good time to engage socially and establish yourselves in the world as a couple.
To a single person, in response to ‘Where will I find true love?’ this card indicates social gatherings in the homes of friends and family.
Reversed or ill-dignified, the 4 of Wands could indicate that one of you is not ready to commit quite yet. It could also indicate that you need to focus your energy more on the home sphere and less on interacting socially outside the home.
Sexually, the 4 of Wands is a sign of both parties feeling confident and loved. Intimacy feels natural and effortless. As relationship advice, it could indicate that an effort to turn your bedroom into a sensual haven would be a good idea right now.
The 4 of Cups. The 4 of Cups indicates dissatisfaction and boredom. You could be expecting your partner to be your source of happiness and feel disappointed when that doesn’t happen. Or you could be coming down from the initial high of falling in love and find that the other person looks quite different to how you imagined without those rose-tinted spectacles on.
This is a time to learn the virtues of empathy, understanding and patience in the relationship. Try to relax and be receptive to the love that is there. Really make an effort to understand the perspective of the other person. As you learn to tolerate each other’s differences, you will slowly and gradually become stronger as a couple.
In a reading for a single person looking for love, the 4 of Cups could indicate that they don’t feel good about themselves and have misplaced their natural mojo or that they have unrealistic expectations about love, possibly inspired by some Hollywood ideal.
Ill-dignified or reversed, the 4 of Cups could indicate that a person is looking to satisfy a desire that can’t be fulfilled through promiscuity. There could be boundary issues and deep-rooted emotional problems that affect the relationship. A need for counselling could be indicated.
On an intimate level, you may not feel like initiating sex because of a fear of being turned down. Either way, this card indicates a passive stance. As with all the fours, you can try changing your home/bedroom environment to inspire more action and courage in the bedroom.
The 4 of Swords. This 4 is not one to want to risk upsetting the apple-cart. Harmony and peaceful relations is to priority under the auspice of this card.
On a practical level it may mean that you are both tired from working too much and in need of a break. Or one of you could be recovering from illness. Either way, you could do with some down time.
It could be a good idea to give each other lots of space when this card shows up. However, conflict-avoidance could be an issue. Sometimes, avoiding conflict pays off short-term. Long term, it usually leads to separation as there can be no growth without facing relationship issues.
For a single person, this card usually indicates that efforts to reach out and establish rapport with the object of one’s desire is not likely to pay off. It’s a ‘disconnect’ unless you are already in a relationship with someone and even then it usually means that there is not much communication about things that aren’t absolutely necessary.
Abstinence and impotence (possibly due to disease) rather than intimacy is indicated with this card. This card could also indicate a platonic love relationship.
The 4 of Pentacles. In a love and relationship reading, this card could symbolise a relationship that is primarily focused on financial stability. One or both parties could have sacrificed their heart’s desire in order to achieve a sense of security.
There could be a struggle for power and control in a relationship that falls under the dominion of this card. You are examining who stands to gain the most from every decision and this is creating a sense of oppression in the relationship. You need to learn to be more generous and forgiving with each other. If you can’t get a sense that both gain from one gaining, then it may be time to move on.
A reversal of this card could indicate that you are not working together financially but that one or both of you are wasting common resources rather than looking to the future.
To a single person, this card could indicate a need to strengthen personal boundaries and learn to say no, especially when reversed. Upright, it could simply mean a need to loosen up and let someone in. Needing to be in control at all times is sure-fire way of staying single.
On an intimate level, this card could indicate a need to learn to let go of control in order to achieve climax. There is a deep-rooted need to feel safe first and this need should be honoured. Then gradually introduce fun ways of learning to relinquish control.
You’re right I have been. I need to back off on things and let things progress on their own.
We had somewhat of a breakthrough yesterday. Some things came to light that I hadn’t paid attention to, and I think he was made aware of how much I was investing in all this. Basically my perspective has changed and there are things I am learning to let go of. I’ve had a few signs since the discussion, both an action out of the blue and a dream I had last night that he isn’t over all this and that he’s reaching out.
So I did a 3 card reading, past present future, for our relationship. Past was page of wands, present Queen of wands, future 4 of wands. I’m seeing the page and Queen as a progression, going from child to woman, from naive to informed, from unstable to stable. 4 of wands I’m either interpreting as him and I working on creating a firm foundation again, or maybe he’ll move back in, but there’s still work to be done regardless of the celebration. Since there’s so many wands, so much fire, I’m assuming this is going to happen fairly fast? Or there’s going to be a lot of drive behind getting things done. Also our family unit happens to equal 4. Him, myself, and 2 little girls.
You need to stop reading on this. Doing too many readings on the same situation just creates confusion.
I asked about the near future in relation to my love life and received: The Devil (past- and this makes perfect sense to me!), The 9 of cups (present – no…nothing like this in my life at present…yet?) and the 4 of Swords (future).
i am currently “resting” from a previous bad relationship (with the “Devil”), but am confused as to the connection between the 9 of cups and 4 of swords? They contradict so much!
It looks like you are still healing and learning to be happy in your own skin with the 9 of Cups… and the near future brings more time for healing and reflection with the 4 of Swords… The 9 of Cups is a lesson about learning to choose happiness and to not make it dependent on another person. I’m guessing the quicker you learn this, the shorter the 4 of Swords period will last…
Thank you Lisa! That makes sense. How very kind and generous of you to respond and help me with understanding how the two connect! Blessings to you!!