No Other Enemy Than the Enemy Within

5 of Wands Christ Light Tarot

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

~ Ephesians 6:12

Today, I’m starting a new series of posts here on Angelorum, all in the category ‘Christ Light Tarot.’

There are three main reasons for doing this:

1. Spirit is leading me in this direction.
2. I have my spiritual roots deep in Christian soil and am currently on Christo-Pagan Path.
3. The Tarot was formed with a Christian ethos but being a Christian is apparently not ‘politically correct’ these days. Mainstream Tarot has taken on a decidedly Pagan flavour. Hence, I wish to reclaim a huge chunk of spiritual wisdom tradition that may otherwise be lost for many generations to come.

When I was only 5 years old, I had my first religious experience (note that I did not say first spiritual experience). We were singing Christmas carols in my pre-school group and we had to learn the words to ‘Nu tändas tusen juleljus’ (Now are lit a thousand Christmas candles) by heart. One line in particular has stayed with me ever since:

“In every heart, sad and dark, send a gentle ray – a blessed ray of God’s love light in sacred Christmas time.” (I varje hjärta armt och mörkt, sänd du en stråle blid. En stråle av guds kärleksljus i signad juletid.)

I was taken over by something much bigger than me and for the first time felt a sense of purpose… ‘Yes, this is why I’m here! To send light to the hearts of those who grieve.’ This may well be when I first heard my calling even though I didn’t know that this is what it was at the time. I have always known that the world needs this Light. Later, when I got to know Jesus Christ better, I realised that He fully embodied this Light and that He had come to show us the way.

For many years, I struggled with ‘rulers and authorities’ that bastardised His teachings. These supposed vicars of Christ were here to show us The Way, like He did and instead they came to make us feel worthless, unworthy of God’s love, unclean and simply not good enough.

After one particular encounter with one such vicar of Christ, I decided that enough was enough and left the church. I had come for confession and I was heartbroken, crushed by the weight of my sins and my inability to love my parents which is what the Bible demanded. I cried and cried… I tried to gather myself and go on but I just couldn’t. The priest sternly warned me that I was there to confess my sins, ‘not to cry.’ I said my prayers and walked away from church that day with a big ‘WTF?’ hanging over me.

I suppose, in hindsight, I should thank him. In retrospect, this man… this representative of the Holy Mother Church, liberated me forever of my sense of guilt when it came to my parents. I went on to study psychology and through understanding, I came to love and forgive my parents – something that particular brand of Christianity would never have enabled for me. You see, Christ is that Light of understanding. If it cannot be found in His church, it will simply move elsewhere…

Apart from the Bible verse at the top, the 5 of Wands also reminds me of this passage from Paul’s epistle to the Galatians:

For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another.
~ Galatians 5:14-15

The truth is, of course, that we do not have any other enemy than the enemy within. We all belong to each other. And for those who do not understand that Christ came to teach compassion, I have nothing but compassion. One day, the eyes of their hearts will be opened. One day, they too will be able to see the Way well enough to show it to others, instead of prescribing guilt and shame…

When we know better, we do better.

Blessed Be!