are you free part 2

Are You Free? – Part 2

An Update

It’s been nearly six months since I surrendered my life to the Lord, so I wanted to do an update about my spiritual journey. A lot has changed since April and many more people are now awake to the fact that we are in the middle of what financial experts and politicians have dubbed ‘The Great Reset,’ which is really just another name for the New World Order.

The u-turn I did with regards to occultism is not something I regret. I had to clear the house and rid myself of Masonic/satanic influences. Both my home and my mind had become cluttered with different sorts of addictions (including an obsession with collecting Tarot decks) and obsessive thoughts, some of which were based in superstition and most likely demonic in origin. The latter tends to happen when you call on various deities instead of being filled with the Holy Spirit. I certainly had demonic dreams off and on as an occultist — those dreams are gone now!

Throwing the Baby Out with the Bathwater

Christ truly did set me free from all of the above but he never intended to set me free from what makes me uniquely me – I’m a uniquely intuitive and creative being and when I cleared the house, I did what so many of us do: I threw out the baby with the bathwater.

I had to start over with a completely clean slate. I had to become curious about my gifts again and surrender them completely to the Lord, trusting His guidance. Often before going to bed, I will ask God for a dream message and I sometimes get one. Sometimes the dreams come uninvited, such as the dream I had of our cat dying in the early summer. He died the very next day, exactly in the way I had seen it in my dream.

Prophetic Gifts

Like Joseph in the Bible, God has given me the gift of prophetic dreaming and also of dream interpretation for dreams that are more symbolic in nature. These gifts are from Him and not something I could ever force, which makes them infinitely less scary than the use of a divinatory tool such as a deck of cards, where my ego is given greater room to play.

However, am I meant to live in constant fear of my ego negatively impacting my intuitive gift? If I do, am I then truly free?

God recently showed that it’s not the cards that are the problem – it’s the occult system surrounding them and the Masonic/satanic knowledge transmitted through them. The cards themselves (pre-Masonic era) were a gift from God and were never meant for telling fortunes. They were created as a tool for spiritual guidance and as a mirror for the soul. My downfall as an occultist was twofold: I used the Tarot in the occultic tradition (voiding true spiritual wisdom) AND I told fortunes (ego massage for clients in exchange for coin).

To tell fortunes or to perform divination in the sense that goes against the will and word of God is to seek ways to bend situations and people to one’s own will (or the will of clients) — adding insult to injury if done while invoking spirits/demons to help. A Prophet or Seer, on the other hand, reveals only what God says or shows them. That’s not to say they can’t use tools for that purpose – the Urim and Thummim are an excellent example, as are Gideon’s fleece and Joseph’s cup.

A Tarot Dream

A couple of nights ago, I had a dream that filled me with a deep sense of joy and peace about returning to the Tarot and using the cards exclusively as a tool for spiritual guidance. In the dream, a young female client had invited me to her home. As I no longer did readings, I hadn’t brought a deck. She invited me to choose a deck from her extensive collection.

I asked her to choose her favourite deck. She chose a Tarot deck which was not only 3D but had moving images. As I did the reading for her, I only needed to use three cards because there was so much there to see and experience. All three cards were from the suit of Cups, the Page of Cups (innocence) being the first card. I literally walked through the frame of the cards one by one and immersed myself in the scenery. When I came out on the other side, I had experienced healing for both myself and the client. She was very happy indeed with the guidance.

In the next scene, my client and I had moved to a library. As we sat down at one of the tables, some people started gathering and I realised the UK Tarot Conference was about to begin. This was of course no coincidence since that is actually happening this weekend!

A New Book

Next, a wise former Tarot colleague of mine who reveres Christ (no, not in the New Age sense), Richard Abbot, sat down next to me. He placed a book on the table (it said on the front cover that it was about the ecclesia) and I recall telling him I had always wanted to read that book.

When I woke up, which is what happened next, I had the name ‘Kant’ in my mind. I contacted Richard to ask him about the dream and he said that he only just finished writing a book (two years in the making) and he mentions a 3D Tarot card experience in the book. He also (funnily enough!) had done some research on Kant for the book.

The thing I love about Richard’s work is that he encourages individualism. Any time I talk to him, I get that unspoken permission to be more of ‘me.’ The church often, sadly, gives a different message. To die to ego is not to die to the self. The be more like the person God intended us to be is actually to be more like Christ.

True Freedom

I had lost some of my freedom on my journey to freedom but now I found it again, thanks to God, a dream, a wise friend, and also my sister who said ‘I didn’t want to say anything…’ when I suggested to her I might have thrown the baby out with the bathwater.

So now I have a sense of peace, joy and direction that comes from knowing that it’s okay to be me, a Christian Mystic, even if the church doesn’t recognise my unique skill set. More importantly, I have surrendered everything I do now to Christ and will not do anything that goes against the Holy Spirit.

God is speaking to me about wanting to use disenfranchised people like me and many others out there who don’t wish to succumb to satanic social distancing measures in churches for the New Thing He is doing now.

It’s going to be a bumpy ride but I’m happy to be here for it!

In His Love,


Comments 8

  1. Hey, I have had an interest in tarot for a while and was wondering if it was okay to get a deck. I am Christian and I just wonder if it goes against the bible, and would be evil in God’s eyes. I want a deck for spiritual guidance, not to do anything bad with it. I absolutely don’t have that intention. I have done a ton of research but I can’t find a definite answer, so I was wondering your viewpoint on this.

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      Hi Lilli, thanks for your question. I wrote about where I’m at with regards to the Tarot in this post yesterday. I don’t believe the Tarot in and of itself is evil and I believe it can be used for good. However, just as with food offered to idols (1 Corinthians 8:4-13), you need to resolve this inner conflict for yourself. Nobody else can do it for you. If your conscience continues to bother you, then getting/working with a deck is probably not a good idea. The spiritual guidance offered by the Tarot Major Arcana may be a better fit if you are on mystical/gnostic Christian path. According to traditional/orthodox Christian teachings, you don’t need any insights into your soul other thant what is offered by the Bible. The way I see it, the Holy Spirit can use symbols to speak to us and help bring us into better balance. What type of spiritual guidance are you looking to gain from the Tarot? If you are curious about how I currently work with the cards for myself, you can follow my @tarotize account on Instagram. God bless!

  2. Am I free? Yes, I believe I am. Many years ago when I was still married, my husband used to say making money off of spirituality is satanic. Therefore I didn’t feel comfortable doing readings for cash.
    Fast forward 15 years and I listened to everyone else tell me it’s okay.
    I believe he was right as I tried to create a business doing it and it failed. (Blessing in disguise).
    I think that so many people who have expanded their spirituality to include worshiping demons ( Bahophmet for example) and profess he’s not a Devil are sadly mistaken.
    I understand their issues with the church and their perceived notion of Christianity but I firmly believe they have no idea what they’ve conjured up.
    Look at the world today. It’s filled with zombies.

    Anyway, I admire how you’re always expanding your mind and refuse to get pigeon holed.
    I know you threw out your cards but with the passing of Diana, she left me all her cards and I have way too many.

    If you’d like any, I’ll gladly mail you some. If you’re interested, let me know. I’ll share anything with you.

    I’m no longer on Fakebook but I think I can email you photos of what she left for me.

    God Bless you Lisa.
    You’ve been a light for me in a world filled with darkness.

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      Thanks for sharing your journey, Tara. You are so right – people have no idea what they are dabbling in. And yes, I know what you mean about being surrounded by zombies.

      I’m so sorry to learn of Diana’s passing. I’m touched and honoured that you would like to pass some of her decks on to me. Please do send pictures to tarotize at gmail dot com

      It would be lovely to have a deck of hers to remember her by. I’m happy to pay for postage – not cheap across the pond!

      Many blessings in return! xoxo

      1. Great. No need to pay for postage. It’s my gift to you.

        When I go home later, I’ll take some photos.
        She had quite a few Marseille decks and Medieval ones as well.

        She passed on Sept 11 after being in hospice for about 3 weeks.

        I’ll be back in touch tonight. 🙂

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  3. I feel like you laid my life out in this post. (I e-mailed you at the e-mail on your contact page if it’s still active). I converted back to my Christian faith and in February 2020 I threw out everything all of my decks and books. Do you think it’s safe to use a deck like the Hanson Roberts deck? There isn’t really occult imagery on it. I prayed for the last 6 months and got the same message as you that it isn’t the cards. I thought it was the devil, I started rebuking my intuition and then I went into a depression because I felt so cut off from what God created me to me intuitive and creative. I felt fake, like I wasn’t being me. I started to g et very religious but not in a good way more in a religiosity spirit and becoming very judgmental of people (like the ex smoker parable you used). I am in the process of seeing if I can get guidance after praying . Do you still think it has to be an older deck? Thank you for writing this!

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      Wow, lots of touching points there – I just read your email! I think God is doing a new thing but I don’t feel it’s up to me to give personal recommendations. If you doubt something in your mind, you can’t use it. Paul is clear about that in his letters. For those of certain of the grace of God that we have in Christ, nothing is off limits, if done as unto Him. This is in reference to food and drink offered to idols but I feel it applies to the Tarot too. The Tarot was offered to idols for sure but I don’t believe that it was created for an occult/satanic purpose originally. I have always seen parallels to the Morality Plays in the Medieval decks. I’m still feeling my way through this after realising I couldn’t join a church (they all practise satanic socal distancing here in the UK). Perhaps that happened so that I wouldn’t fall in to the old subculture trap. Much of what is practiced in our churches is born from spirits other than the Holy Spirit. I pray for discernment for both of us, sister, and am grateful that you reached out! The Hanson Roberts was always a favourite of mine. The Connolly Tarot is suposed to be Christian but I haven’t really worked with it. God bless and please keep in touch!

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