It’s been nearly six months since I surrendered my life to the Lord, so I wanted to do an update about my spiritual journey. A lot has changed since April and many more people are now awake to the fact that we are in the middle of what financial experts and politicians have dubbed ‘The Great Reset,’ which is really just another name for the New World Order.
The u-turn I did with regards to occultism is not something I regret. I had to clear the house and rid myself of Masonic/satanic influences. Both my home and my mind had become cluttered with different sorts of addictions (including an obsession with collecting Tarot decks) and obsessive thoughts, some of which were based in superstition and most likely demonic in origin. The latter tends to happen when you call on various deities instead of being filled with the Holy Spirit. I certainly had demonic dreams off and on as an occultist — those dreams are gone now!
Throwing the Baby Out with the Bathwater
Christ truly did set me free from all of the above but he never intended to set me free from what makes me uniquely me – I’m a uniquely intuitive and creative being and when I cleared the house, I did what so many of us do: I threw out the baby with the bathwater.
I had to start over with a completely clean slate. I had to become curious about my gifts again and surrender them completely to the Lord, trusting His guidance. Often before going to bed, I will ask God for a dream message and I sometimes get one. Sometimes the dreams come uninvited, such as the dream I had of our cat dying in the early summer. He died the very next day, exactly in the way I had seen it in my dream.
Like Joseph in the Bible, God has given me the gift of prophetic dreaming and also of dream interpretation for dreams that are more symbolic in nature. These gifts are from Him and not something I could ever force, which makes them infinitely less scary than the use of a divinatory tool such as a deck of cards, where my ego is given greater room to play.
However, am I meant to live in constant fear of my ego negatively impacting my intuitive gift? If I do, am I then truly free?
God recently showed that it’s not the cards that are the problem – it’s the occult system surrounding them and the Masonic/satanic knowledge transmitted through them. The cards themselves (pre-Masonic era) were a gift from God and were never meant for telling fortunes. They were created as a tool for spiritual guidance and as a mirror for the soul. My downfall as an occultist was twofold: I used the Tarot in the occultic tradition (voiding true spiritual wisdom) AND I told fortunes (ego massage for clients in exchange for coin).
To tell fortunes or to perform divination in the sense that goes against the will and word of God is to seek ways to bend situations and people to one’s own will (or the will of clients) — adding insult to injury if done while invoking spirits/demons to help. A Prophet or Seer, on the other hand, reveals only what God says or shows them. That’s not to say they can’t use tools for that purpose – the Urim and Thummim are an excellent example, as are Gideon’s fleece and Joseph’s cup.
A Tarot Dream
A couple of nights ago, I had a dream that filled me with a deep sense of joy and peace about returning to the Tarot and using the cards exclusively as a tool for spiritual guidance. In the dream, a young female client had invited me to her home. As I no longer did readings, I hadn’t brought a deck. She invited me to choose a deck from her extensive collection.
I asked her to choose her favourite deck. She chose a Tarot deck which was not only 3D but had moving images. As I did the reading for her, I only needed to use three cards because there was so much there to see and experience. All three cards were from the suit of Cups, the Page of Cups (innocence) being the first card. I literally walked through the frame of the cards one by one and immersed myself in the scenery. When I came out on the other side, I had experienced healing for both myself and the client. She was very happy indeed with the guidance.
In the next scene, my client and I had moved to a library. As we sat down at one of the tables, some people started gathering and I realised the UK Tarot Conference was about to begin. This was of course no coincidence since that is actually happening this weekend!
A New Book
Next, a wise former Tarot colleague of mine who reveres Christ (no, not in the New Age sense), Richard Abbot, sat down next to me. He placed a book on the table (it said on the front cover that it was about the ecclesia) and I recall telling him I had always wanted to read that book.
When I woke up, which is what happened next, I had the name ‘Kant’ in my mind. I contacted Richard to ask him about the dream and he said that he only just finished writing a book (two years in the making) and he mentions a 3D Tarot card experience in the book. He also (funnily enough!) had done some research on Kant for the book.
The thing I love about Richard’s work is that he encourages individualism. Any time I talk to him, I get that unspoken permission to be more of ‘me.’ The church often, sadly, gives a different message. To die to ego is not to die to the self. The be more like the person God intended us to be is actually to be more like Christ.
I had lost some of my freedom on my journey to freedom but now I found it again, thanks to God, a dream, a wise friend, and also my sister who said ‘I didn’t want to say anything…’ when I suggested to her I might have thrown the baby out with the bathwater.
So now I have a sense of peace, joy and direction that comes from knowing that it’s okay to be me, a Christian Mystic, even if the church doesn’t recognise my unique skill set. More importantly, I have surrendered everything I do now to Christ and will not do anything that goes against the Holy Spirit.
God is speaking to me about wanting to use disenfranchised people like me and many others out there who don’t wish to succumb to satanic social distancing measures in churches for the New Thing He is doing now.
It’s going to be a bumpy ride but I’m happy to be here for it!
In His Love,