This morning, I found a blog post by Chloe McCracken in my Facebook feed. The title is ‘What to do when life throws stones on your path.’ I’m feeling a bit stuck with regards to a community project I want to get going with so I thought I’d check out any tips Chloe may have for me. I don’t want to give anything away so I suggest you hop on over and read her post… but from it I got the idea to make a Tarot tool for my own inner dreamer, realist and critic, to help bring them into balance.
You see, when I feel down or blocked in any way my Critic takes over entirely and tells me that there is no way for me to succeed and when I’m in a good mood my Pisces Moon is quite happy to just dream about the things that make me happy rather than act on any ideas I have. I strongly suspect that my Inner Realist still has some growing up to do and I’m hoping this little Tarot experiment will help.
The first thing I did was to randomly choose nine Inner Dreamer cards from the Frideborg Tarot face down. I laid them out three by three. It turns out that the top and bottom rows were a perfect match for what I dream of achieving now, so I kept those… had a think about the middle row and discarded it because I didn’t like the challenge…
In the top row, I see the birth of a new creative project… something truly new… and something that will help me increase earn some money as well. Because bills. In the bottom row I see a lucky break combined with careful planning leading to more teaching gigs.
Fortunately my Inner Dreamer didn’t get last say about which cards to keep and which ones to discard. Among those I discarded was the 2 of Cups which is the first card to show for what my Inner Realist has to say about this project. I do need to team up with someone… The problem is that I haven’t found them yet, so I need to go out there and actively recruit my future partner for this local project.
For my Inner Realist, I used more structure and chose to work with the Clarity Tarot spread:
My inner realist tells me exactly what Friday’s week ahead forecast told us all – future success is dependent on collaborations. The action advice in the form of the 2 of Pentacles, paired with The Chariot as the Quint/Spiritual Lesson tells me to act on this advice now and get the ball rolling. The 2 of Pentacles often shows up for me when I need to start moving and the act of moving is more important than seeing/knowing the end goal.
The Shadow Card is about the spiritual community legacy I wish to create.
As for my Inner Critic I decided to pick 6 cards to cover all bases in Chloe’s article:
The first pairing addresses “That’s not possible because…” And shows me again that I really cannot do this without a partner because I’m not practical enough, nor do I have a solid reputation in the community, such as that of the King of Pentacles. The second pairing speaks about “Worst case scenario, you end up with…” and is a very clear sign to me that lack of trust that can be associated with 9 of Wands would lead to me going back to just dreaming about creating this community group. The final pairing covers “What’s missing?” “What are the weaknesses of the plan?”
OK, so here we have The Chariot making a comeback to emphasise that until I start moving forward nothing will happen. The weakness of the plan is that it does depend on my networking skills, which so far have been quite appalling within my local community. I have a tendency to go into ‘outcast mode’ which means I don’t bother trying to make friends after being knocked back a couple of times.
In my defence a couple of very real incidents happened that took a while for me to get over but I am ready to let go of resentment and start opening up again. One of them involved being attacked in public about the very nature of my work and being accused of being a charlatan who preys on the vulnerable, after I politely answered the question about what I do for a living.
This happened in our local village pub by someone who knew nothing about the way I use the Tarot and ever since nobody ever talks to me about my work. This is hard because those who know me well know that I identify deeply with my work. The other incident was more personal in nature but it amounted to someone turning out to be a frenemy rather than the friend they pretended to be and also wanting to use me for free readings, so I had to cut them out completely.
Time to move on and release any lingering bits of resentment though I have long since forgiven the people involved. The resentment lingers from several similar experiences in other places I have lived ever since early childhood and probably goes as far back as past lives since I have Chiron in Aries in the 11th House which prods existential issues wherever groups of people gather. I feel it’s also part of the bloodline healing I’m here to do.
Today we have a grand trine in the Air Signs and I have zero ongoing transits. A good day to release old patterns and open the windows to the winds of change… Looking at these cards has made me more aware of the work I need to do… what is possible and what isn’t, as well as to embrace the challenge of finding that one person to team up with for the Higher Good.
So much love!