One of the oldest myths on the planet is that love hurts. Love doesn’t hurt. Love doesn’t break hearts… fear and ignorance do.
Where there is love, there is pain.
~ Spanish proverb
When someone decides to walk away from a relationship, it’s usually for any number of reasons except love. And usually, those reasons boil down to fear. Very often, it is even a pre-emptive strike because it is better to abandon than to be abandoned.
The reason why the myth persists is that we have confused love with desire and attachment. We expect love to perform for us and bring us both excitement and stability. It’s a big ask of love to bring us the things we must inevitably grow from within…
If we truly love someone, we are happy if they are happy. True love seeks nothing but the happiness of the Other… any other sentiment, any fear of abandonment comes not from love but from fear. The only possible way for love to ‘hurt’ us is through ‘growing pains’ – True love has the ability to change us and change is usually at least uncomfortable if not utterly agonising…
I decided to randomly pull a couple of cards from the Tarot of the Ages – One for my own core belief about love and one for Love’s true nature:
The 10 of Swords tells me that I have bought into the myth that Love Hurts on a very deep level. The picture really speaks for itself. It’s media conditioning from the day we were born and growing up with the ‘happily ever after’ ideal, which we soon learn isn’t true whereupon we start believing that true love is something that only a few ‘lucky’ people get to experience.
Love’s true nature shines through in the Ace of Wands. But wait a minute, fire hurts! True, it can hurt if we are careless but it can also warm and nurture us. It’s still not love that hurts – it’s our own carelessness. I don’t ban myself from being close to an open fire, I just make sure my hemline doesn’t catch on fire.
From an energy perspective, these cards speak volumes.
The Swords suit is associated with the mind (Element of Air) and it is through the mind we are programmed. The ‘love hurts’ program starts looping as soon as we get that first taste of fear. Then we meet someone, fall in love and hope for the best while still expecting the worst, completely oblivious to the fact that our subconscious and conscious expectations shape our reality.
The suit of Wand is associated with Fire – a fire that can be tempered alchemically, as in the Temperance card. We don’t want to put the fire out, nor do we wish the Water of our emotions to completely evaporate. We want to create beautiful rainbows.
Becoming a soul alchemist takes time, learning how to temper the flames of passion takes patience. But with the ‘Love Hurts’ program running, we won’t get very far.
Jeremiel is the Archangel of Mercy and the master of transmuting negativity into Love and Light. He can help us make sense of past lessons so that we can integrate the learning and move forward without any of the pain. Archangels Jeremiel and Anael (ruler of Venus) are the angels to invoke in order to start the reprogramming process.
Do you believe that you have it in you to attract the right mate? Do you believe with your whole heart that you could meet someone on the right wavelength who is just as willing as you to make a long-term relationship not just tick along but be a source of great joy and fulfillment?
It is a steep learning curve but I will keep digging until I get there and I hope you will too. A mutually beneficial long-term relationship is too great a gift to give up on… and in the meantime, I will ask Archangel Anael to open my heart to the fact that love is everywhere…
“Love is not an equation, it is not a contract, and it is not a happy ending. Love is the slate under the chalk, the ground that buildings rise, and the oxygen in the air. It is the place you come back to, no matter where your headed”
― Jodi Picoult