7 Keys to Sexual Healing and Sacred Sexuality

tantra

It could be argued that all sexual activity is sacred. It’s part of the human experience and as such (unless it is abusive) it is sacred. However, the problem with sex is that most people engage in it without being mindful of their whole beings, focusing almost exclusively on achieving an orgasm. It is natural to focus on a built-in drive to satisfy a physiological ‘itch’… but is it healing and does it have anything to do with love and spiritual development?

Sex that leaves us feeling drained and fragmented is far too common these days; we have forgotten how to stay tuned into our bodies and fully present during the act. Tantra, which falls under the Sacred Sexuality umbrella, gives us tools and techniques for re-uniting with our bodies and bringing our whole being (mind, body and spirit) into the love-making.

But Tantra is not for everyone and much that is called Tantra in the West really isn’t Tantra at all. Having looked into Tantra and Sacred Sexuality, I feel that these 7 key points facilitate Sexual Healing in the truest sense:

Self-awareness/energy body-awareness – If you know how to stay grounded, open/close your chakras and how to run your own body’s energy circuit through the aura as well as the chakras, you have done the groundwork for being able to experiment with energy transference during love-making.

Having the courage to be fully present/vulnerable – The ability to remain fully present through-out builds very much on self-awareness. When you open up to the other completely, there will be many temptations to shut down as you find your own woundedness prodded and poked but it’s only when you have the courage to stay open and show your vulnerability that you can push past the pain and truly begin to heal.

Complete acceptance of self and the other – …warts and all… enough said!

Loving respect of self and the other – …whether you are actually in love or not (which isn’t necessary, by the way!).

Trust – although you don’t need to be in love to experiment with sacred sexuality, you do need to have basic mutual trust for each other before you begin your practice. Communication that makes you both feel safe, seen and contained builds the necessary trust. You may also want to make an agreement to keep your sacred sexual experiences private and confidential.

Safety – I shouldn’t have to point this out but if you are not willing to practice safe sex, you can probably forget about getting anyone to trust you!  But safety is more than making sure you don’t give each other STI’s – it has just as much to do with ensuring that both of you feel completely accepted, no matter what.

A shift in focus from an orgasmic climax to sacred union and an increase of life force energy  – Sex is about satisfying an ego drive and can crudely put be seen as rubbing one out in (hopefully) good company. Sure, you may be in love but if you are making love to a projection of your desires rather than being fully present in your own body and with physical climax as the goal, you’re pretty much using each other rather than meeting each other. A true meeting which leads to merging of yin/yang polarity and ego transcendence takes a lot longer than the average 11 minutes required for intercourse.

What are your thoughts on sexual healing and sacred sexuality? I would love to hear from you!

Blessings,

Lisa