Porn and Tarot

couple being intimate

Over the last few days, I have come across a few, totally unrelated posts by women expressing fear that their partners might be watching porn. Shock and horror! Apparently they view porn as cheating…?

While reading these posts I’m thinking, “What’s the big deal?” Men watch porn – Newsflash: so do plenty of women! Yes, a lot of porn is degrading to women but there is also porn that degrades men… and there wouldn’t be any porn that degraded anyone if people weren’t so into being degraded.

Then there is porn that doesn’t degrade anyone unless you find having a body and sexual urges degrading. It’s filmed sexual fantasy by people who are not only willing to perform but who get paid for it too. This doesn’t mean that I deny that sex between two people who love each other is sacred but welcome to planet earth where sex is sometimes a spectator sport.

If you are that afraid that your man might be ‘cheating’ on you with porn, why not suggest watching it together? Call it erotica if you don’t like the word porn. He’ll get off on you choosing and sharing your sexual fantasies with him.

Live a little! You might even learn a few things about how to better meet each others needs and desires based on talking about what you see… Physical intimacy is the glue of the relationship and any tools that help are legitimate IMHO.

If you are really afraid and suspect that he might be into something dodgy or illegal, or you think he might be addicted to porn, you need to find a way of confronting this fear and getting the issue into the open as it will otherwise undermine the relationship by eroding your trust in each other. Also, how sound are your personal boundaries if you got involved with someone you can’t trust in the first place?

So what does all this have to do with the Tarot? Well… Here on the Love Dove Tarot blog where we aren’t afraid to touch on any relationship topic! That goes for my totally private and confidential tarot readings too, by the way!

In the love and romance card meanings for all 78 cards, which I’m gradually adding to the blog, I include interpretations for the most intimate aspect of the relationship too – where appropriate – using the most tasteful terminology possible since I don’t want this to be an ‘Adult Only’ blog.

The big question I felt compelled to ask of the cards based on the synchronicity of multiple unrelated posts concerns the the sexual aspect of the collective human Shadow. Shadow is a Jungian term which describes that which we sweep into the deepest darkest corners of our unconscious mind because we are afraid of what it tells us about ourselves. Instead we project these things onto others… On example of this is how women who are afraid of owning their sexuality slut-shame other women.

I asked the cards what was at the root of the fear expressed in these posts and pulled three cards from the Manara Erotic Tarot (daisy added by me because this article was first published on WordPress.com and I could have had my blog shut down over showing a female nipple (sic!)):

3 Card Reading

Manara Erotic Tarot. © Lo Scarabeo. All rights reserved.

Wow! These cards aren’t holding back! The central card, the Ace of Wands, is an expression of raw sexual energy – the kind that women often like to project onto men. That doesn’t mean it’s not just as potent in women… perhaps even more so (in terms of sex magick) and that is why the church – represented by The Tower on the left – put so much effort into repressing it… resulting in the kind of guilt, condemnation, degradation and shame we see expressed by the 5 of Pentacles on the right.

It’s time to move female sexuality out of the Shadow and stop projecting it onto the men. We can’t blame the church any more… We’re totally responsible for dealing with our own shame and guilt, and liberating ourselves from it. Nobody else can liberate you – it’s your birthright and you have to claim it! – but don’t expect it to happen in hurry from within your soul if you slut-shame women who aren’t afraid to own and express their sexuality.

Blessed be!

Lisa