Are you still looking for a soul mate lover? Then stop – right now!
‘But why?’ I hear you asking. ‘Isn’t there someone for everyone and if I’m here looking for him, surely he is out there looking for me too?
While it is likely that on a planet of 7 billion people, there is someone for everyone, it is less likely that your best match for long term is someone you have karmic baggage with.
Essentially, the definition of soul mate I go by means that you are from the same ‘soul pod’ and have shared at least one past life. This can lead to instant recognition the first time you meet in this incarnation. And it is very easy to get hooked on this kind of instant depth of connection.
So why are you better off not going for a soul mate?
Turbulence. Soul mates are just regular people and not fantastic by virtue of being soul mates. You could look at them as being your year at school – a mix of people in other words: some evolved, some not so evolved.
These are people from the same ‘soul family’ or ‘soul pod’ that you have a contract to meet up with. The reason for which you cross paths, according to Dr Michael Newton, author of Journey of Souls, is to learn important life lessons.
Living happily ever after is rarely the lesson our soul mates bring. More often than not, they often bring out the worst in us. They cross paths with us to mirror Shadow aspects of our souls so that we can begin the process of healing and transmutation. While this is wonderful in its own right, it often makes for tempestuous relationships. The ego will find ways of fighting back.
But the fact that soul mates are not always nice to be around doesn’t mean that they are bad or evil. It simply means that they are sent to try us and help us grow in various ways. As with any tough lessons, this can be hard while it is going on but with the benefit of hindsight, we virtually always see that our soul mates were catalysts for growth or awakening in one form or another.
Pressure. You know how the pressure we put on the other person increases radically if they change status from friend to partner? Double that again and that is the amount of pressure we tend to put on soul mates.
Assumptions tend to be rife as well. There is perfectly natural explanation for this. When you are with someone that you share a deep soul connection with, it becomes very easy to assume that they know you just as well in this incarnation, without having to go through all the trouble of getting to know your thoughts, desires and wishes all over again. Very few people on this planet, soul mates included, are mind readers.
Unfortunately, there are no short cuts. In each incarnation, the only healthy way to go about it, is to spend lots of time talking and experiencing things together in order to truly know the other person.
True love is a choice – The choice to get to know someone and then to love them for who they are. And it is a choice we have to keep making over and over if we wish to stay happy in love. If you still choose to (or are meant to) settle down with a soul mate lover, I wish you much happiness. The key to success is to treat him or her as your best friend as well as your lover.