the bible

My Doreen Virtue Conversion Experience

the bible

People are asking, ‘How could Doreen Virtue go from a compassionate and non-judgmental spiritual path to one where she believes that unless you accept Jesus as your saviour and live your life according to the Bible, you will burn in hell?’ Many are naturally saddened by this recent turn of events because they feel that a spiritual teacher they looked up to has now regressed and embarked on a path of fear.

Personally, I have no problems with understanding the pull of religion so I want to share what happened when I was 17 and how the brainwashing from my years in the church lasted pretty much up until this year. In fact, I would like to thank Doreen Virtue in part for the ability to finally free myself completely because she served as such a mirror for the kind of fear that sucks you back, starting with the video where she talked about her conversion experienced and how people in the New Age were affected by demons (she did not use the word possessed, as I recall).

The word ‘religion’ is interesting in itself – It combines the Latin ‘re’ (again) and ‘ligare’ (to connect). The aim of all religions is to help man reconnect with the Divine – or at least, that’s what it says on the tin. If history has taught us anything, it is that as soon as money and power become part of the equation, it soon starts going south.

But let’s not go off on a tangent with church history here (although I sincerely recommend reading up on it since it still affects us all today)… What I’m trying to say is that the reason can get its claws into us is because most of us long for this Divine reconnection. We are hardwired to believe in something more than what meets the eye… something beyond the grave. When we reach with our hearts to reconnect with loved ones who have passed on, our hearts tell us they are still there… and so is the Great Light in the Sky from whence we came and to whom we all return.

This is how I came to have my very own religious conversion experience at the tender and impressionable age of 17…

I left my native Sweden to have the experience of a lifetime. I had signed up to be a high school exchange students and knew that I could end up in any of the 52 states of the USA. I didn’t care. I was keen to get away from home and out into the big, wide world. As it turns out, I ended up in the Bible Belt but when I was on my transatlantic flight to New York, I wasn’t even aware of the term ‘Bible Belt.’

The first family I stayed with more or less used me as a nanny for their three kids. I had several child minding duties and red flags popped up with the 8-year old told me that they usually had nannies but now they had me instead. If I wanted to meet up with friends outside school hours, my ‘host family’ told me I had to give them two weeks notice. My social life (which was the part I had looked forward to the most) was pretty much null and void. Around Christmas time, I plucked up the courage to tell my area representative that enough was enough and I wanted to go back home.

My area representative offered me temporary shelter and talked me into staying. She said she would arrange for me to stay with another family. About two weeks in, they phone me from the other family and told me how keen they were to have me come and stay with them. I accepted. Deep down, I didn’t really want to go back home. Things were less than ideal there and I also felt I owed it to myself to have the adventure that I had signed up for.

It was around middle of January when I was flown down from North Carolina to South Carolina on one of those ‘flying pigs’ that jump about quite a lot in the air. I can’t say I enjoyed the flight but I did enjoy the warm welcome I got from my new family. They were everything my old host family had not been. They treated me as family rather than a slave… so when they invited me to come to church with them and said I was more than welcome to stay behind if I preferred, I literally jumped at the chance to go with them just so I could keep basking in their warmth.

I was about two weeks into going to church with my new American family when they started trying to convert me. By then, I had sat through about six sermons since they attended church three times a week. They did the Roman’s Road thing with me and it didn’t really take any pushing at all for me to accept Jesus as my Lord and Saviour. I had always loved Jesus and these were easily the nicest and most loving people I had ever met… or so I thought…

The Masks Start to Slip

Not many weeks after my conversion and Baptism, I seemed to misplace my rose-tinted glasses. I still loved Jesus and the Bible… but these Bible-believing fundamentalist Christians had so much hatred for people who didn’t walk their exact path… and they demanded that I drop my belief in evolution as well as my support for the LGBTQ community… I had to dress, walk and talk a certain way to be accepted by them. I thought they loved me for me – I couldn’t have been more wrong…

I swear, the red flags started within weeks, yet I was trapped in this mindset for several years, with the grip loosening gradually once I moved back to Europe where people just don’t ever seem to be as radical in their faith. However, much damage was done in that time and it was fear that kept me frozen in place, so eager to please everyone in the church and appear to be a good Christian. I can see clearly now that this had absolutely NOTHING to do with Christ or his teachings and everything to do with what I like to call Patriarchal Churchianity.

On a more personal level, I started seeing the racism and hatred up close. My supposedly loving host parents that were my Christian role models as they were ‘bringing me up in the faith’ were talking about how much they hated the white woman across the road for marrying a black guy. I didn’t understand why. I accepted they felt that way but never adopted racist beliefs myself. I simply shrugged it off as ‘well, that’s just culture – not Christ’s teachings.’

I also had to sit through tirades about how Pentecostals and Catholics would all burn in hell one day. They seemed almost gleeful at the thought of it. The notion of hell was becoming more real to me than the notion of heaven because it was preached that much and there were even posts in the corridors of ‘heathens’ falling into fiery pits because nobody had taken pity on them as missionaries of the Gospel of Christ.

I started attending Bible classes and learned how to evangelise….

Evangelism (an aside)

This is where I need to pause and I need you to pause with me. Doreen Virtue who claims to be an Episcopalian is now involved in this exact form of hyper fundamentalist Christian evangelism, using the Internet equivalent of Chick Tracts. The image below is for a link that she shared in the New Age to Christianity Recovery group on Facebook…

doreen virtue chick tract evangelism

This is not normal behaviour for any Episcopalians I know. I have a friend who is an Episcopalian minister and I have never seen her share anything like this. All her social media shares are about the rights of minorities (including the LGBTQ community) and how we should help refugees. This is more akin to the kind of Christianity preached by fundamentalist Christian Steve Bancarz who recently did this interview with Doreen Virtue.

I’m keen to make the distinction because there is a MAJOR difference: my Episcopalian friend preaches inclusivity and non-judgment, the likes of Steve Bancarz come from a place of deep fear and judgment and will outright say that homosexuals who don’t repent will burn in hell etc.

Now that we have established where some of the pressure comes from since Doreen’s conversion, it is easy to understand how she interprets the Bible the way a fundamentalist Christian would with regards to divination and mediumship which she has denounced, along with belief in Ascended masters, Goddesses and all fairies except the flower fairies. As for the Angels, only the ones mentioned in the Bible (Michael and Gabriel) are still on the menu, as well as apocryphal Raphael (for now).

I understand where Doreen is coming from if she is indeed trying to please these (impossible-to-please) people, I’m just surprised that it is happening at such a ripe old age but apparently she is going through her second Saturn return and that probably has something to do with it.

The pressure to convert others is extreme once you get sucked in by the hyper fundies. There is no such thing as tolerance with them. Of course not. Everyone who does not believe exactly as they do is going straight to hell.

Trust me, this is a VERY bad place to be mentally and emotionally. If you watch the linked video right at the top of the post, perhaps you will start to wonder, like I do, if Doreen’s conversion is perhaps the result of a) being isolated after the move to the ranch and b) being made to watch those NDE hell rescue videos on YouTube. That is certainly one possibility but I’m not sure myself what is going on here. This could all be related to Doreen Virtue’s plans to start a Church. According to this Italian interview she had obtained the license to do so already at the time of the interview in 2015.


Anyhoo… After successfully taking a couple of people down the Roman Road myself (because it was expected of me), I gradually started disentangling myself from the claws of Christian fundamentalism. I soon realised that those of my friends who were not in it were much happier and healthier. I also realised that I actually put more of a premium on the direct experience of God than on living my life according to a Book that contradicts itself rather a lot.

In the end it was studying Church History and the canonization of Scripture that helped me decide to leave the Church in my late 20’s – That and a dream vision in which I met Jesus (yes, the REAL Jesus!), felt completely loved and free to make any choice that would work for me. No judgment.

Sucked back in

I wish I could say… “and then I just trusted myself and I haven’t looked back,” but I wasn’t entirely free from fear and a couple of years ago I started missing the sense of community I had at church. I was floundering for a while, thinking some of my own practises may be questionable from a spiritual point of view because they weren’t aligned with the teachings of Christ… bearing in mind that this makes no sense since I had long since stopped taking the Bible literally…  We are literally talking faulty programming (yes, residual brainwashing).

Rescued by Virtue

But thank Heaven and all the Angels, not long after I started filling up with doubt, fear and judgment once more, I was rescued by a couple of people mirroring my fear back at me. One of those people were Doreen Virtue and she did it spectacularly… Subtly at first… and then she started denouncing the things I love the most, such as the Tarot. BAM! I was WIDE awake!

The other person was someone who introduced himself as a Christian Tarot reader. That was totally cool… until he started going fundamentalist on me and quoting Scripture to get people to fall in line with HIS version of the right way to use the Tarot. I’m a grown ass woman and I can do without that Bible-flavoured mansplaining.

Awakening to the Divine Feminine

Then in April of this year, around the time of Doreen’s video where she talks about New Agers having relationship problems (but Christians don’t???) I started feeling my soul’s calling to be part of the global awakening to the Divine Feminine. This helped me see religious fundamentalism very clearly as an expression of patriarchy – a patriarchy that is DYING, I might add… It is literally in its death throes and kicking back.

None of us grow in a straight line. We often double back on ourselves to pick up lessons we missed on the way. I’m not putting myself in a place to judge anyone. I’m sharing this to show that I have compassion with journeys that sometimes do the cha-cha and take a couple of steps backwards before moving forward again. And I will say this with 100% certainty, any step on your spiritual path that is taken in the direction of fear is a backward step.

If I would sum up my journey now it would be with: I return to the zero point with every breath – I trust myself.

All Paths of Love lead us home.





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Comments 19

  1. How come no one has looked at DV’s astrological natal chart and transits and progressions.
    It’s all there…

    She went through her Saturn return 2016\17.
    Her natal Saturn is in the11th house, meaning she has struggles with group dynamics. But more so tested with a transit conjunction.. a crises of the group of new age people and teachings, apparently!! But was this the real reason?

    There is lots more I cannot cover all here. She has natal Saturn square natal Venus ( in second house of possessions and values) in her natal chart. .. she might be fine to the outer world in relationships..but one on one..that is one of the most difficult. Cannot express love and feelings, or allows domination by others. And losing all that money to her ex.. that is the 2nd house! Has she not been married many times?

    So her Saturn return hit both natal Saturn and Venus…love, possessions, money, values. All the love espoused over the past 28 years (Saturn takes that long to transit around a chart) , collapsed..” there must be something wrong”, so she projected against the movement she loved.. it caused her pain , not as she says , she finally read the bible correctly , and took the hard line of Jesus’s message.. hell etc. Jesus is the ONLY way ( sorry for the rest of the world) , then finding Old Testament Levisticus attacking mediums and so forth.

    But wait for 18 months to 2 years! 2020/2021, Her Transit Pluto is going to conjunct her ascendent, ( very rare!) and it is common for those that go through this, to revert back to the past path, BUT, more informed and mature. !

    The trigger is a) Saturn return b) with Saturn transit also square Venus..
    But, also with natal Neptune in her 9th house, this too can be a crisis of delusion and faith, and is being triggered by other transits.

    The entire episode was triggered by a crisis of personal love, and her new man, is going to eventually make her so unhappy because he, and her god fearing Christian community, is so controlling her, that she will come back, wiser and stronger…

    She needs our compassion. Karma, heavy karma is happening.
    It is a spiritual test.

    Suggest keep this message…

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      Hi Andrew, thanks for this. Actually, quite a few people I know have dissected her chart. I guess we’ll wait and see. My passion and sympathy is with the victims in all of this. I don’t see why Doreen should get away scot free just because her chart is challenging. She engaged in criminal activity (illegal solicitation for an unreg. charity) and dodgy business practices and there are real victims, both human and animals. If she is delusional, she is also a danger to the world around her – let’s not forget that.

  2. Very genuine story, Lisa. When I saw Doreens conversion video at first I was so scared. I just felt like someone had taken my safety net away and I was falling deep. I didn’t agree with her and was deeply disappointed…but it gave me a lot of clarity. I realized my spiriual gifts were there all the time and I was using them the way I was supposed too before i started following Doreen. I was being brainwashed to think that I needed to be a lightworker, I needed to follow the spiritual path and be a professional reader (and spend my money trying to become one). Big, big mistake. Not only her, but other psychos like her took advantage of my self-doubt. I recently stopped doing readings for money and studying Astrology. I still love these subjects and practice every now and then. I still see births and deaths (my specialty), and I notice when Angels are around, their names and what they have to tell me. If I use divination, spot on. But Doreens conversion hurt me deeply and made me question my path. I’m resting now and reassessing personal goals and aspirations. Thanks for being committed to sharing the truth.

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  3. That was powerful! And yes Evangelists give the impression that they offer a life in contact with higher dimensions/the source. Instead it is just narrow rules and ego.
    I know of several young people who got drawn into this born again thing. It doesn’t surprise me that young people get caught up in it. They are young, open, idealistic often vulnerable and its normal for them to be impressed by the certainty with which these Evangelicals speak.
    The thing is Doreen is 60 years old, at that age, to suddenly happily embrace the authoritarian idea that most people will burn eternally because they aren’t in your little Christian sect, that is very strange. To do that HAPPILY as an older adult you must be very very naive, or sociopathic or a fraud I think!

    Some mediums start with channeling high energy beings but then later get caught up in ego and negativity.
    Of course Doreen did imply she created the ascended masters deck and book primarily by googling them, which sound like an euphemism for “I plagiarized a bunch of books’. Was she ever a real medium?
    Doreen always was a Johnny-come-lately, many wrote successfully about angels fairies ascended masters etc long before Doreen, but I thought/hoped she had her own higher connection too.

    Its a pity her brand is destroyed because her(?) messages were good (they are positive and help peaceful spiritual living etc). But what client is going to be impressed if you tell them Doreen’s messages are true and good because she plagiarized true and good messages received by others!?!
    What a sad mess!

    But I will keep using her decks privately because I love the art. And it should always be about the message not the messenger! A good but painful lesson again.

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      Hi SeaDream, yes I can honestly say I’ve never known anyone this old convert to fundamentalist Christianity before… and I hear you on questioning her connection to the Divine. I have kept a few of the deck that I feel a personal connection with but most are gone now.

      1. The happy (somewhat) older person I know who had become born again dismissed the whole eternal damnation thing as an hyperbole that shouldn’t be taken literal. I heard about a mans dad who did become fully fundie (eternal damnation, end of times etc) in his forties (he had been a fairly normal conservative Christian before that), and it made his dad grim deeply depressed, angry and with no joy, it didn’t sound mentally stable, but frankly I think it is a much more logical reaction than Doreen’s happy “hell is real”. That looks artificial and fake. That combined with the fact that she apparently got a church licence in 2015, and her not so pristine actions (lies, and asking for donation for animals she is already getting rid of etc) has given me the feeling there is something strange and fraudulent going on. I wonder if we will ever find out the truth.

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  4. My favorite part: I’m a grown ass woman and I can do without that Bible-flavoured mansplaining . Thank you for sharing your experiences!

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  5. Love it! Thank you for sharing! I experienced a little of that mirror effect myself, and almost fell on that same fear wave she DV is now riding. Thankfully though, it actually led me to stand even more firmly in my own truth. Sat Nam! <3

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