St Teresa of Avila: Friendship with God + Tarot Spread

St Teresa of Avila in her Carmelite habit gazes towards a crucifix beside an open prayer book, with golden light illuminating her convent room.

What if prayer could begin with something as simple as making time for a friend?

St Teresa of Avila understood prayer as friendship with God. That makes her a wonderful companion for those of us who long for a closer relationship with Him but sometimes get tangled in our own thoughts.

With her feast day on 15 October, I want to spend some time with this Carmelite mystic, reformer and Doctor of the Church. Her teaching brings us back to a deceptively simple question: Are we making room for the One who loves us?

Below, you will find an introduction to her life, a simple prayer and a seven-card St Teresa of Avila Tarot spread centred on friendship with God.

Jump to the St Teresa of Avila Tarot Spread

Who Was St Teresa of Avila?

Born in Ávila, Spain, on 28 March 1515, Teresa de Cepeda y Ahumada became known in religious life as Teresa of Jesus. She entered the Carmelite Monastery of the Incarnation as a young woman.

However, her spiritual life did not unfold as an uninterrupted ascent into holiness. She experienced serious illness, inner conflict and years of difficulty in prayer.

In 1562, she founded St Joseph’s in Ávila, beginning a reform that helped give rise to the Discalced Carmelites. St John of the Cross became an important collaborator and spiritual friend.

Teresa combined contemplative prayer with the practical demands of founding religious communities. She travelled, organised, wrote and persevered through opposition.

She died at Alba de Tormes in 1582, was canonised in 1622 and was declared a Doctor of the Church in 1970. Her feast day is 15 October.

Prayer as Friendship with God

In The Book of Her Life, chapter 8, Teresa describes mental prayer as “being on terms of friendship with God.”

She explains this through regularly spending time alone with the God we know loves us. Prayer begins with relationship.

That changes how I hear the invitation to pray.

I can bring the unfinished thoughts. The questions I cannot resolve. The gratitude, grief and occasional irritation that do not fit neatly into a devotional paragraph.

Friendship needs honesty. If I spend the whole time presenting God with the version of myself I think He would prefer, who exactly have I brought into prayer?

He already knows the rest.

Teresa’s teaching invites me to stop editing myself quite so relentlessly and become available to His love. Then, within that relationship, I can allow Him to change me.

When Prayer Feels Difficult

One of the most reassuring things about Teresa is her honesty about struggling.

In her autobiography, she describes years of being pulled between prayer and worldly attachments. She also warns against abandoning prayer because we think our failures make us unworthy to continue.

Her advice comes from experience: keep returning to God. Prayer itself helps us change.

I find that deeply encouraging.

Some days, prayer feels natural. On others, my mind produces seventeen side quests before I have finished the opening sentence.

But a distracted return is still a return.

We can notice that we have wandered, gently turn towards Christ again and continue. We can also bring the difficulty itself into prayer.

Lord, I want to be here with You, but I am struggling.

That is an honest place to begin.

The Interior Castle: Making Room for God

Among Teresa’s best-known books are The Book of Her Life, The Way of Perfection and The Interior Castle.

In The Interior Castle, she pictures the soul as a beautiful castle made from diamond or clear crystal. Its many dwelling places lead towards the centre, where God dwells. Prayer is the entrance.

For those of us who love symbolic language, this is a wonderfully rich image.

Yet I want to resist turning the castle into another spiritual achievement chart. I can imagine myself trying to establish which mansion I have reached, consulting three books and constructing a spreadsheet.

Meanwhile, the invitation is to pray.

Teresa’s image invites us to recognise the dignity and depth of the soul. We have an interior life worth attending to. We can become more aware of what occupies it and more willing to let God lead us.

The question I want to carry with me is simple: What am I giving room to, and how does it affect my friendship with God?

Friendship That Becomes Love in Action

Teresa’s spirituality joins contemplation with service.

Towards the end of The Interior Castle, she insists that the purpose of prayer must become visible in good works. She brings Mary and Martha together: loving attention to Christ and practical service belong in the same life.

This gives us something concrete to consider after prayer.

Am I becoming more patient with the person in front of me? More willing to apologise? More attentive to someone who needs company? Can I do the ordinary task that love asks of me today?

The answer may be very small.

A kind message. A meal prepared with care. Listening without immediately turning the conversation towards myself.

Friendship with God can reshape how we offer friendship to others. The time we spend with Him belongs to the whole of our life.

Within Teresa’s Carmelite tradition, this life of prayer and service also has a distinctly Marian character.

St Teresa, Mary and the Brown Scapular

Teresa’s Marian devotion was deeply personal. After her mother died, she asked Mary to be her mother.

As a Carmelite, Teresa also wore the full brown scapular as part of her religious habit. This is the long garment hanging down the front and back. The small devotional scapular worn by laypeople is a miniature form of that habit.

There is evidence that she took an interest in the smaller scapulars too. The Teresian dictionary records a late letter concerning scapulars sent to her by Jerónimo Gracián. It also notes her references to the religious scapular in her Constitutions.

So the connection goes beyond how she appears in paintings.

Carmelite teaching presents the scapular as a sign of belonging, Marian devotion and commitment to following Christ. Wearing it calls us to live the relationship it expresses.

That feels especially relevant to me as I return to Mary’s care. Being under her mantle carries an invitation to let her example shape how we listen, love and respond to God.

However, researching this devotion also brought me face to face with the complications of my own relationship with the Church.

Friendship with God from the Fringes

Researching the brown scapular brought up a painful question: could I enrol while I am unable to receive Holy Communion? I am remarried, and my path towards reconciliation with the Church remains uncertain. I have not established whether my circumstances prevent enrolment, but even asking the question touched that familiar ache of belonging while feeling excluded.

Yet I can draw near to Christ. I can pray, listen and nurture friendship with God while those questions remain unresolved.

During meditation this morning, I felt Jesus showing me something unexpected. Those of us on the fringes of Christianity, disenfranchised for various reasons but still believing, can be the glue of the Body of Christ. Even when we struggle to find our place within a Christian community, we still belong to Christ. Perhaps our position at the edges can help us recognise connections across denominations and reach towards people who also feel excluded.

From the edges, we may include people whom others overlook. We know something of the ache of belonging while feeling excluded. Perhaps that gives us a particular responsibility to love across the boundaries that Christians draw between one another.

I want to carry this into prayer and see what fruit it bears. Can I remain open-hearted? Can I recognise Christ in someone whose faith looks different from mine? Am I able to keep loving when belonging feels complicated?

Teresa’s teaching gives me somewhere to begin. Whatever remains unresolved, I can make time for the One who loves me. And I can let that friendship teach me how to better love others.

What St Teresa Can Teach Tarot Readers

The spread below is my own reflection on Teresa’s teaching about prayer.

For me, the connection lies in symbolic listening and honest self-examination. A card can help me notice a fear, an attachment or a possibility that I then bring into conversation with God.

You can read more about this approach in Symbolic Listening to God with the Help of Tarot.

I want the reading to serve the relationship.

When a symbol catches my attention, I can ask: Why does this matter to me? What needs prayer? What loving action can I take?

There is no need to force every card into a message from God. We can reflect, discern and leave room for uncertainty.

Above all, we can put the cards down and spend time with Him.

A Simple Prayer with St Teresa of Avila

This is an original prayer inspired by Teresa’s teaching.

Lord Jesus,
You know me fully
and invite me into friendship with You.

Help me make room for Your presence.
Teach me to speak honestly,
listen patiently
and return when my attention wanders.

Let the time I spend with You
make me more loving towards others.

St Teresa of Jesus, pray for me,
that I may persevere in prayer
and that my friendship with God
may bear fruit in everyday life.

Amen.

The Friendship with God Tarot Spread

This seven-card St Teresa of Avila Tarot spread invites reflection on how we make time for God, what we bring into prayer and how that friendship shapes our actions.

Before shuffling, spend a few moments in silence. Pray: Lord Jesus Christ, help me recognise what needs my attention and respond with love.

Seven-card Friendship with God Tarot Spread inspired by St Teresa of Avila, with positions for Presence, Trust, Honesty, Listening, Freedom, Love and Faithfulness.

1. Presence — How am I arriving?

What thoughts, feelings or concerns are you bringing into your time with God? Begin with an honest acknowledgement of where you are.

2. Trust — What makes it difficult to receive God’s love?

Consider a fear, expectation or habit that affects your willingness to be loved. What might you bring to Him for healing or clearer understanding?

3. Honesty — What do I need to bring into prayer?

Where are you censoring yourself or avoiding a difficult conversation with God? This card invites truthful expression.

4. Listening — What needs my quiet attention?

Notice something you have hurried past. It might be a recurring concern, a neglected responsibility or a gift you have scarcely acknowledged.

5. Freedom — What is crowding this friendship?

Consider an attachment, distraction or demand that leaves little room for prayer. What could you simplify or put down?

6. Love — How can this friendship bear fruit?

Look for a practical act of kindness, courage, reconciliation or service. Keep it specific enough to carry out.

7. Faithfulness — How can I keep returning?

Choose a realistic way to nurture the relationship. A brief daily pause, a passage of Scripture or a few honest words may be a good beginning.

Making Time for the One Who Loves Us

After the reading, choose one insight to bring into prayer and one loving action to take. Then allow yourself a few minutes with God without interpreting anything.

There is something wonderfully freeing about Teresa’s starting point. Friendship gives me a reason to return even when my thoughts are untidy and my spiritual life feels unfinished.

I can come as I am, listen and let love do its work.

Lord, here I am. I have come to spend some time with You.