The Lovers

Today, I learned the true meaning of The Lovers when meeting the gaze of a young girl of about 11 with learning disability. Her eyes shone brightly, unburdened by discernment and judgment. Like two suns, they burnt with love straight from Source… and I felt naked like Adam in the Garden of Eden when God looked him up after he had tasted the forbidden fruit.

This quote by Rumi sums up what the spiritual lesson in The Lovers is all about:

“This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First, to let go of life – In the end, to take a step without feet…”

I hesitate to use too many words to describe the energetic space of The Lovers. It has to be experienced through the heart. The words by Rumi evoke an image of someone in love who takes a leap of faith, much like The Fool. We all know that love can only exist where there is trust and also that lovers madly in love act in a way considered ‘foolish’ by those in a more ‘sober’ state.

The Lovers represents choices about matters of the heart but also any matter that affects us on an emotional level and where we need to align the heart with the head. Sometimes it’s not possible to do this. In those cases, we have to go with either the heart or the head. That is… until we return to a state of grace and innocence.

The Fool has no mind to interfere with the decisions of the heart. It is possible to return to innocence after we have learned that we are separate from the other when we have navigated the spaces of the first four cards of the Major Arcana. But we do have to learn of our separation first.

When in a 6/VI The Lovers year numerologically, many people end up making a definite choice to either stay or leave a lover. Many also meet their soul mate in a 6 year. It is a year of choices and having to face our deepest desire for loving and being loved in return.

Because The Lovers corresponds to Gemini and therefore all of the most difficult cards in the Swords suit, I also predict a lot of free-floating anxiety globally next year. Nobody likes to see the Gemini Minors (8,9 or 10 of Swords) in a reading. These are harsh influences that we would rather do without. We are pierced by these swords because they blind us to reality but we can turn them into allies against the darkness too. How? By turning every statement into its opposite.

Try it with your scariest most persistent negative thoughts – the thoughts that really induce fear and anxiety. Better yet, exaggerate them, ideally in front of a mirror. Repeat them to your own face until they no longer hold any power over you and then say the opposite – the antidote, a loving message from your Higher Self to your soul.

In truth, we have nothing to fear but fear itself. The greatest challenge of our lives is to overcome fear and realise that we are not separate from love. Fear holds no power over us once we realise this.

The spiritual gift of the Lovers is to teach us the ability to integrate opposites. Mentally, the gift is to help us pierce the illusion that anything but love is real. The emotional gift is to engage the heart in the decision-making process. On a physical level, the gift of The Lovers is an ability to ignore the body’s physical needs for a period of time (handy when fasting or running a marathon for instance). However, this can be detrimental if a person continually neglects their physical needs. The antidote is The Empress – nurturing ourselves and spending time in nature.

Ultimately, this freedom from the physical boundaries of our own bodies exists so that we can surrender to the Beloved… and to take that ‘step without feet.’


Element: Air

Zodiac Sign: Gemini

Archangel: Zadkiel and Mercury

Chakra: Heart chakra

Colour: Green, pink, yellow, white

Crystal: Rose quartz, aventurine, jade, emerald, pink tourmaline, malachite

Body: Arms, shoulders, upper ribs, lungs, bronchial tracts, hands, the nervous system

Exercise: Improvised movement originating in the heart, devotional dance, pranayama (yogic breathing exercises)

Stance: Hands crossed over heart

Magickal Tool: Sword

Associated Major Arcana Cards (through numerology): The Devil

Associated Minor Arcana Cards: All cards associated with Gemini

  • 8 of Swords (Jupiter in Gemini). Healing through maintaining focus.
  • 9 of Swords (Mars in Gemini). Healing through directly facing the source of fear and anxiety.
  • 10 of Swords (Sun in Gemini). Healing by starting over with a whole new thought paradigm.
  • Knight/King of Swords. Healing through objective analysis.

The Lovers Through The Elements

The Airy Lovers excel at communication in their own element but they may begin to neglect their physical needs.

In the element of Fire, The Lovers sparkle like bubbles in champagne.

In Water, they are challenged to seek intimacy – They are tested but determined to succeed. Often they swim on their backs instead of facing each other in the water.

In Earth, The Lovers have a tendency to get bored and antsy. The energy isn’t moving quickly enough. They may seek to escape through media and entertainment.

Remedies to increase the energy of The Lovers in your life:

  • You can make a tarot essence to increase the energy of The Lovers, using the Lovers card of your choice, along with any of the crystals above that you feel drawn to work with. There is plenty of information on the healing properties for each of the crystals available online.
  • Meditate lying down with the Lovers over your Heart Chakra to balance male/female energy and restore harmony.
  • A tarot essence made of The Lovers can be used to attract a soul mate or to help you make an important choice where you are torn between following your heart or doing what you think is right in your mind.
  • Place rose quartz in various places in your home to create an atmosphere of unconditional love.
  • Create a tarot essence of one of the associated Minor Arcana cards (see above for uses). Only do this if you are clear on the healing purpose of each of the cards as the Swords often evoke negative feelings. Needless to say, negative emotions are counterproductive to healing.
  • Start a regular pranayama practice. Begin with 5 minutes a day.
  • Wear pink to soften your expression if you have tendency to be harsh with your words.
  • Express your love and gratitude for your loved ones daily.
  • Smile or chat to a stranger.
  • Chant ‘Om Mani Padme Hum’
  • Volunteer for charity work.
  • Sound ‘haaaaaaaaa’ to release any blocks to love.

Affirmation: “My choices are made with my heart and mind aligned.”


  • Spending time in the great outdoors greatly calms agitated nerves and grounds excess Lovers energy.
  • Create routines for nurturing your physical self.
  • Listen. Stop talking and truly listen.
  • Do some practical work with your hands.
  • Banish the influence of an ex by cutting the card in two and burying it.


The Lovers is a card we’re all quite happy to see in a love and relationship reading since it’s almost always a sign that the person we are reading for is involved or about to be involved with one of the key players in his or her life – a soul mate even.

However, this doesn’t always mean that the other person is ‘The One’ in the sense of he or she being the one the seeker settles down with. It simply means that this person has come into the seeker’s life for a reason (to mirror qualities of self) and also that important choices that shape the seeker’s future have to be made due to the impact of this relationship.

In a single person’s Love Tarot reading, The Lovers invariably means that they are about to meet a new love. However, 3 of Swords indicates that the feelings won’t be reciprocated. The Knight of Wands shows us that the other person is likely to be a ‘player’ rather than someone who is willing or able to commit.

For committed love on the horizon, we want The Lovers to show up with the 2 or 10 of Cups, the Knight of Cups, The Hierophant, The Sun or the 4 of Wands.

If this card shows up in a reading for someone who is already in a relationship, it’s often a sign that they or the person they are involved with is ready to take the relationship to the next level. Reversed, and/or next to Justice and depending on other cards in the reading, it could indicated divorce.

It can also indicate that you can now simply enjoy the pleasure of the company of your beloved, especially in combination of the 10 of Cups and the 4 of Wands. Show your beloved that you have no intention of taking them for granted and vow to yourself to make the happiness last and last…

The Lovers can also indicate a soul mate with which you share a past life connection.

On an intimate level, language and expressing one’s wishes fearlessly to the beloved is part of the energy of this card which corresponds with the sign of Gemini. This is not an energy that lends itself well to D/s in sex, unless you do it playfully and with the intention of switching roles at some point. The Lovers energy is more concerned with equality and playfulness. Light touch, lots of laughter, whispering sweet nothings, dirty talk and tickles (feathers!) would suit the Gemini energies.