Allhallowtide: Remembering Our Beloved Dead

Allhallowtide offers a Christian invitation to remember our beloved dead with prayer, gratitude and affection. As October gives way to November, the calendar makes room for the people whose absence still shapes our lives.

For some of us, a particular face comes to mind immediately. For others, there is a whole company of people whose names and stories we carry.

As the liturgical year becomes more important to my spiritual life, I appreciate these invitations to bring our actual experience into prayer. Grief belongs there, alongside love, laughter and everything we never quite managed to say.

And yes, laughter belongs here too. Remembering someone can include the things that made them smile, their peculiar habits and the joke they insisted on telling at every family gathering.

What Is Allhallowtide?

Allhallowtide is a traditional name for the days surrounding All Saints’ and All Souls’. These three observances have related but distinct meanings:

• 31 October: All Hallows’ Eve. The evening before All Saints’ Day, from which the name Halloween comes.
• 1 November: All Saints’ Day. The celebration of all the saints in heaven, including those whose names are known only to God.
• 2 November: All Souls’ Day. A day of prayer for the faithful departed, including the loved ones we remember personally.

These are an eve, a solemnity and a commemoration in Catholic observance. Together, they turn our attention towards the communion of saints and our hope in Christ. The Church of England calendar also includes All Saints and the Commemoration of the Faithful Departed.

Although these dates give us a shared occasion, we can remember and pray for those we love throughout the year.

Is Halloween Originally Pagan?

Samhain matters to many contemporary Pagans, including friends whose ways of honouring the dead I respect. However, the familiar claim that the Church simply took over a fully formed pagan Halloween needs more care.

Halloween means All Hallows’ Eve: the eve of All Saints. The Christian commemoration of martyrs developed on several dates, including in spring. All Souls’ observance on 2 November spread from Cluny around the year 1000.

Meanwhile, evidence for ancient Samhain practices is limited. Surviving medieval accounts were written in Christian societies. Historian Dr Michael Carter cautions against projecting later Halloween traditions backwards into a supposedly complete pagan festival. His English Heritage introduction is a useful starting point.

Customs can mingle as communities change. Nevertheless, All Saints and All Souls have their own Christian history and purpose. Recognising this leaves room to respect people celebrating Samhain today.

There is also early evidence of Christian remembrance itself. Chapter 18 of the Martyrdom of Polycarp describes believers preserving his remains and gathering to commemorate his martyrdom. Honouring the holy dead has deep roots within Christianity.

Remember the Person You Actually Knew

When someone dies, it can be tempting to remember them only in hushed tones. Yet the person we loved may have been gloriously noisy, mischievous or incapable of letting anyone leave without another helping.

It is more than okay to personalise how we honour them. Think about what delighted them. What made their face light up? Which small pleasures would they have wanted to share?

For example, you might:

• Cook their favourite meal or bake from a handwritten recipe.
• Play music they loved, or watch the film they could quote from beginning to end.
• Share photographs and tell the stories that still make you laugh.
• Plant their favourite flowers or spend time somewhere they enjoyed.
• Give to a cause they supported, or repeat a kindness they were known for.

We do not have to make someone’s memory solemn to make it sacred. Preparing their favourite pudding can sit quite naturally alongside lighting a candle and saying a prayer.

Equally, there is no obligation to turn grief into a celebration. Some years, a name and a few tears may be all we can manage. Both tenderness and laughter can have their place.

Why Do Christians Pray for the Dead?

Praying for the dead is a way of continuing to hold those we love before God. Alongside thanksgiving for their lives, we ask for his mercy, peace and the fulfilment of his loving purpose.

However, Christians differ in how they understand these prayers. Catholic and Anglican traditions both offer resources, while explaining the practice in different ways.

The Catholic Understanding

In Catholic teaching, those who die in God’s grace may still undergo a final purification before entering the fullness of heaven. This is called purgatory. Those undergoing it are already assured of salvation.

Consequently, prayer for the departed is understood as a real act of help. Catholics may offer Masses, prayers and acts of charity on their behalf. The Catechism explains this in paragraphs 1030–1032.

Anglican Prayer and Practice

Anglican approaches vary. Church of England worship includes prayer for the departed, commending them to God’s mercy and asking that his loving purpose be fulfilled in them. Its prayers for remembrance offer examples.

Some Anglicans understand this in terms of continuing purification or growth in God’s presence. Others pray without defining what happens between death and resurrection. Some Anglican traditions are more reserved about prayer for the dead.

For those who practise it, the prayer is more than an exercise in recalling a memory. We bring someone we love before the living God and entrust them to his care.

A Simple Allhallowtide Prayer Practice

You can use this practice on All Souls’ Day or whenever you wish to remember someone. A few quiet minutes are enough.

1. Make a Little Space

Choose somewhere comfortable. You might place a photograph nearby, write a name in your journal or light a candle. Alternatively, begin with empty hands and the person held quietly in mind.

Then take a moment to settle:

Lord Jesus, I bring you my love, my memories and my sorrow. Help me pray honestly and trust those I remember to your mercy. Amen.

2. Say Their Name and Remember

Say the person’s name aloud or write it down. Then remember something particular: their voice, their humour, a familiar gesture or something they cared about.

Perhaps a small, ordinary memory comes first. Let it have its own texture. You can smile, cry or sit quietly without trying to produce a particular feeling.

3. Give Thanks and Tell the Truth

Thank God for something you received through this person: a kindness, a lesson, a shared experience or the gift of having known them.

However, gratitude may sit alongside hurt or regret. You can bring those feelings into prayer too. If the relationship was difficult, you might simply say:

God, you know what happened between us. Help me bring you what I can bear to face today.

4. Pray for Them

Ask God to hold the person you remember in his mercy and peace. Speak in your own words, use the longer prayer below or keep it simple:

Merciful God, I commend [name] to your loving care. Grant them rest and peace, and bring them into the fullness of your light. Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

You might also remember those whose deaths passed unnoticed and those who have nobody left to speak their names.

5. Carry Remembrance into Your Day

After a moment of quiet, consider whether you would like to do something in their memory. It might be a favourite song, a shared meal or a kindness offered to someone else.

If you are exhausted, you can simply rest. You have already made room for love and prayer.

An All Souls’ Day Prayer for Our Beloved Dead

Merciful Father,
I bring before you those I love who have died.
You know their names, their stories
and everything I could never fully understand about them.

Thank you for the love we shared,
for the kindness I received
and for the good that continues to bear fruit in my life.

Receive them into your mercy.
Forgive what needs forgiving,
heal what needs healing
and bring them into the fullness of your peace.

Be near to everyone who mourns today.
Give us courage for the ordinary tasks,
companionship when the house feels too quiet
and freedom to remember honestly.

Help us care for one another
while we still have time together.
Keep our hope rooted in Jesus Christ,
our crucified and risen Lord.
Amen.

When Love and Grief Are Complicated

Some relationships leave us with anger, relief, estrangement or conversations that never happened. In that case, prayer can begin with a very small truth: I do not know what to do with this.

Remembering someone does not require us to excuse harm or rewrite the past. We can acknowledge what happened and entrust both the person and our own woundedness to God.

If a memory feels overwhelming, pause. You can return another day, pray with someone you trust or choose a simpler prayer. The calendar offers an invitation; it does not set a deadline for grief.

Making Room for One Another

These days can also remind us to care for people who are grieving now. A message saying, I was thinking of them today, may open space for a name that rarely gets spoken.

If you are spiritually weary yourself, you may find companionship in Come to Me, All You Who Are Weary. Receiving care belongs within the life of prayer too.

This Allhallowtide, I want to make room for the people I miss as I remember them: their voices, their kindness, their funny little ways. I can bring that affection into prayer and let it shape how I love the people still beside me.