The Tower, a powerful and often feared card in the Tarot deck, represents sudden change, upheaval, and revelation. In today’s card we examine the meaning of The Tower as feelings and dive deep into its meanings for all aspects of romantic relationships. In love and relationship Tarot readings, The Tower signifies transformative experiences that can shake the very foundations of our connections and self-perceptions.
The thing to be mindful of with The Tower is that, while the energy of this card often seems to strike out of the blue, it is the result of past actions in one way or another. The tower being torn down is the tower the ego built. Only that which we build in alignment with Higher Will can last and stand the test of time. The corresponding Archangel is Samael, ruler of Mars and Tuesdays.
Go to the Tower Love Tarot Rituals with Archangel Samael
The Tower as Feelings of a Love Interest (Upright)
When the Tower card appears upright in a reading about a love interest’s feelings, it signifies intense, transformative, and potentially disruptive emotions. This card suggests that your love interest may be experiencing:
- Sudden realisations or epiphanies about their feelings for you
- A dramatic shift in their perspective on the relationship
- Intense, overwhelming emotions that may feel chaotic or unsettling
- A desire to break free from old patterns or beliefs about love
- A sense of upheaval or crisis in their emotional world
The Tower in this context indicates that your love interest’s feelings are undergoing a significant transformation. They may be experiencing a sudden, powerful attraction that’s shaking the foundations of their previous beliefs about relationships. Alternatively, they might be grappling with the realization that their feelings for you are much deeper or more complex than they initially thought.
This card can also suggest that your love interest is feeling a mix of excitement and fear. The intensity of their emotions might be both exhilarating and frightening, as they sense that acting on these feelings could lead to major changes in their life.
The Tower as Feelings when Reversed or Ill-dignified
When the Tower card appears reversed or ill-dignified in a reading about a love interest’s feelings, it suggests a different set of emotional dynamics. In this position, the card may indicate:
- Resistance to change or emotional growth
- Suppressed feelings or denial about the true state of their emotions
- Fear of confronting deep-seated issues or traumas related to love
- A sense of impending emotional upheaval that they’re trying to avoid
- Difficulty expressing or acknowledging intense feelings
The reversed or ill-dignified Tower suggests that your love interest may be experiencing internal turmoil regarding their feelings for you, but they’re trying to maintain an outward appearance of stability. They might be aware on some level that their emotions are powerful and potentially disruptive, but they’re attempting to keep things under control.
This could manifest as:
- Holding back from fully expressing their feelings due to fear of the consequences
- Ignoring red flags or issues in the relationship to maintain a false sense of security
- Struggling with unresolved emotional baggage that’s affecting their ability to connect
- Feeling trapped between their intense emotions and their desire for stability
The reversed or ill-dignified Tower can also indicate that your love interest is postponing an inevitable confrontation or change in the relationship. They may be aware that something needs to shift but are hesitant to initiate the process due to fear of the unknown or potential loss.
In some cases, the reversal might suggest that your love interest is gradually coming to terms with powerful feelings or realisations, rather than experiencing them as a sudden, dramatic event. The process of emotional transformation could be more internal.
Overall, the reversed Tower in relation to a love interest’s feelings points to complex, potentially conflicting emotions that are being suppressed or dealt with gradually. It suggests a need for honest communication and willingness to face difficult truths for emotional growth and authentic connection to occur.
The Tower When Single and Looking
For those seeking love, The Tower suggests a period of intense self-discovery and personal transformation. This card could show up after a difficult break-up, in the phase of rebuilding your life. It encourages breaking down false beliefs about love and self-worth, paving the way for more authentic connections. This process might involve confronting deep-seated fears, releasing past traumas, and challenging unrealistic expectations of potential partners.
The Tower in this context aligns with the concepts of self-love, self-confidence and self-awareness, which are crucial components of healthy relationships. It may indicate a need to reassess your approach to love, moving away from superficial attractions towards more meaningful connections. This is especially true for past relationships that were abusive, toxic and co-dependent. The Tower clears the way for healthy interdependence and emotional maturity.
The Tower as Your Attachment Style
In an existing relationship, The Tower can reflect your attachment style coming to the forefront. It may indicate anxious or avoidant tendencies that are causing instability in the relationship. This card suggests that your current approach to the relationship may be built on shaky ground, requiring a dramatic shift in perspective to create a more secure foundation.
The Tower here might represent a sudden realisation about your behaviour patterns or emotional needs. It could signify a breaking point where old, ineffective ways of relating must be demolished to make way for healthier interactions.
The Tower as the Attachment Style of Your Love Interest
When representing your partner, The Tower can signify their struggles with attachment and intimacy. It may indicate that they are going through a personal crisis or awakening that affects how they relate to you. This could manifest as sudden mood swings, unexpected revelations about their past or desires, or a reevaluation of their commitment to the relationship.
The Tower in this position might also represent a partner’s sudden shift from one love style to another. For example, a partner who previously exhibited a pragmatic approach to love might suddenly embrace a more passionate style.
The Tower As the Energetic Connection
The Tower in this position suggests a volatile and transformative energy between partners. It can represent:
- Intense passion that borders on mania or destruction
- A relationship that challenges both individuals to grow
- Sudden realisations about the true nature of your connection
This energy, while potentially disruptive, can lead to a deeper, more authentic bond if both partners are willing to embrace change. It might signify a shift in the balance of power or resources within the relationship, as described in social exchange and equity theories.
The Tower as the Potential Outcome
As an outcome, The Tower indicates that significant changes are on the horizon. This could mean a complete restructuring of the relationship dynamics, a breakthrough in communication, or the end of the relationship as it currently exists.
The Tower might represent a critical point where partners must reassess their commitment, satisfaction, and alternatives. The outcome depends on how well they navigate this period of upheaval and whether they choose to reinvest in the relationship or seek fulfilment elsewhere.
The Tower in a Relationship Breakdown
In the context of a relationship ending, The Tower represents a sudden, often painful separation. It aligns closely with the intrapsychic phase of Duck’s model of relationship dissolution, where we tend to experience emotional turmoil and cognitive reassessment.
While initially devastating, this breakdown can be seen as a necessary step in personal growth and the journey towards healthier, more compatible partnerships. The Tower reminds us that sometimes we must endure chaos and destruction to clear the way for new beginnings and deeper understanding in our relationships.
Check out the Angelorum Love and Relationship Tarot Spreads!
Two Tower Love Tarot Rituals with Archangel Samael
Ritual 1: Clearing False Beliefs Blocking Love Progress
Materials:
- The Tower tarot card
- A red candle
- A journal and pen
- Incense (optional)
Steps:
- Create Your Space: Find a quiet area where you can focus without distractions. Light the red candle to symbolise transformation and passion. If you choose, light the incense to purify the space.
- Invoke Archangel Samael: Hold your hands over your heart and say: “Archangel Samael, guardian of strength and transformation, I call upon you to guide me in releasing the false beliefs that block my path to love. Help me embrace truth and clarity. So mote it be!”
- Meditate on The Tower: Place The Tower card before you. Reflect on any limiting beliefs about love you may hold.
- Journal Your Thoughts: Write down these beliefs in your journal, acknowledging their presence.
- Affirmations: For each belief, write a counter-affirmation that promotes self-love and openness. Speak each affirmation aloud, visualising the affirmation as a wrecking ball that breaks down old structures that no longer serve you.
- Close the Ritual: Thank Archangel Samael for his guidance, extinguish the candle, and take a moment to ground yourself.
Ritual 2: Energising Sexual Vitality
Materials:
- The Tower tarot card
- A red cloth
- Red jasper
- A red candle
Steps:
- Prepare Your Space: Set up in a private area where you feel comfortable. Lay out the red cloth and place The Tower card on it. Light the red candle to represent passion and vitality.
- Invoke Archangel Samael: Hold the piece of red jasper in your dominant hand and say: “Archangel Samael, I call upon your fiery energy to awaken my passion and vitality. Infuse me with strength and confidence in my desires. So mote it be!”
- Visualise Energy Flow: Focus on the energy of Mars—vitality, passion, and drive. Imagine a vibrant red light emanating from The Tower card, flowing through the crystal into your body.
- Breathe Deeply: As you breathe deeply, visualise this energy revitalising every part of you, enhancing your sexual vitality and confidence.
- Thanking Samael: When you feel energised, thank Archangel Samael for his presence and guidance. Extinguish the candle and take a moment to ground yourself.
These rituals are designed to promote personal growth and empowerment while connecting with Archangel Samael’s transformative energy. Enjoy your practice!
Love Tarot Card Meanings + Rituals Index