The Hanged Man as Feelings in Love: Ritual and Tarot Spread

the hanged man as feelings in love illustrated by a woman hanging upside down above a luminous pool of water

The Hanged Man as Feelings invites us into the mysterious terrain of surrender, suspension, and soul-level perspective shifts. As a card ruled by Neptune and aligned with the element of Water, it dissolves boundaries and softens certainty so that deeper, more spiritual truths about love can surface. In relationships, The Hanged Man is the moment between breaths—the pause before clarity dawns. This card typically appears when a love connection is teaching us patience, sacrifice for the right reasons, or the wisdom of letting go of illusions.

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Angelic Love Ritual with Archangel Gabriel
A Hanged Man-inspired Tarot Spread for a New Perspective in Love

Psychologically, this card speaks powerfully to how lovers navigate commitment (Rusbult), perceive cost–benefit dynamics (Social Exchange Theory), and express their fundamental style of loving (Lee’s 6 Styles of Loving). The Hanged Man often signals that someone is re-evaluating their emotional position and trying to see the connection from a higher vantage point.

Below, we explore what this card reveals about feelings, dynamics, and outcomes in love — upright and reversed — as well as its implications for attachment, connection, and relationship transitions.

The Hanged Man as Feelings of a Love Interest (Upright)

When When someone feels The Hanged Man toward you, their emotions are deep, contemplative, and in a state of suspension. They’re not rushing in; they’re marinating in the connection. Neptune’s influence means they’re sensing possibilities rather than strategising.

They may feel:

A pull towards spiritual or soulful bonding rather than immediate physical or practical engagement.
A desire to understand you more deeply before taking action.
A need to pause while they search for clarity or a new way of relating.

In Sternberg’s Triangular Theory, this is someone cultivating intimacy before commitment, often sacrificing speed for authenticity. In Lee’s styles, this leans toward Agape (selfless love) or Storge (slow-burn familiarity). And via Social Exchange Theory, they’re quietly weighing the emotional “costs” of rushing vs. the “rewards” of a slow, attuned connection.

They feel something real — they’re simply trying to experience it from every angle before they act.

The Hanged Man Angelic Tarot - Neptune, Archangel Asariel

The Hanged Man as Feelings of a Love Interest – Reversed or Ill-dignified

Reversed, those suspended feelings slip into avoidance, self-sacrifice for the wrong reasons, or emotional paralysis. They may feel stuck, guilty, or afraid to choose — leaving you in limbo.

This can show up as:

Emotional martyrdom (“I’ll just wait forever, even though it hurts”).
Feeling torn between two incompatible desires.
Fantasising instead of participating.
Fear that love will demand too much of them.

From a psychological model lens, Rusbult’s Investment Model becomes important here: they may be clinging to a connection because of past investment rather than present vitality. Lee’s Mania style can also emerge when reversed—idealisation mixed with fear of loss.

Instead of surrender leading to insight, surrender collapses into stasis.

The Hanged Man When You Are Single and Looking

The card invites a soft but radical reset. If you’re single, The Hanged Man tells you that you’re in a sacred in-between phase—a purification from old patterns, preparing for a love that aligns with your soul rather than your wounds.

Emotionally, this period helps you:

Release outdated expectations or fantasies.
Reclaim your intuition as your primary compass.
Attract a partner compatible with your authentic values.

From a Social Exchange Theory lens, you’re shifting from “What can I get from them?” to “What is truly worth giving my energy to?” This card signals a period of inner re-orientation, not punishment.

The Hanged Man As Your Attachment Style

When The Hanged Man reflects your attachment style, it often reveals an anxious-avoidant hybrid pattern shaped by spiritual idealism. You may be comfortable waiting, sacrificing, or suspending your needs because you trust that the “right moment” will come, but this can delay emotional reciprocity.

This attachment expression can manifest as:

Difficulty asserting needs for fear of disrupting harmony.
A tendency to fall for unavailable partners because they feel “safe at a distance.”
Using spiritual narratives (“divine timing,” “twin flames,” or “soul contracts”) to justify misalignment.

Your growth comes through learning when surrender is wisdom, and when it is self-neglect disguised as faith.

The Hanged Man As the Attachment Style of Your Love Interest

When their attachment expresses as The Hanged Man, the person you’re dealing with likely has a fearful-avoidant streak or a gentle but cautious dismissive-avoidant style.

Common traits include:

They retreat to analyse their feelings rather than expressing them directly.
They need time and emotional safety before moving forward.
They may temporarily disappear, not out of disinterest but because their internal world is noisy.

This person feels deeply but slowly, and they need the reassurance that intimacy won’t dissolve their autonomy.

The Hanged Man As the Energetic Connection

Here, the bond is suspended in a chrysalis state. Something is transforming, but the outer world hasn’t caught up yet. This is common when the relationship is spiritual, karmic, or shifting from fantasy into embodiment.

This energetic signature suggests:

You are meant to pause and witness each other’s growth.
A new chapter is gestating, but interference or forcing the issue would distort it.
The connection may involve mirrored wounds around waiting, sacrifice, or expectations.

From a psychological lens, Rusbult’s model highlights commitment that endures through “inaction phases,” but the key is conscious growth, not stagnation.

The Hanged Man As the Potential Outcome

This outcome promises a profound shift in perception, leading to liberation. Whether the relationship deepens or ends, the result is clarity that frees both your heart and your path.

Key possibilities include:

A breakthrough in understanding each other’s emotional worlds.
A transition from limbo to movement—after the lesson is integrated.
A mutual release of illusions or outdated roles.

This is the relationship’s cocoon phase, and on the other side lies either rebirth or peaceful parting.

The Hanged Man in a Relationship Breakdown

In Duck’s Phase Model, this card often marks the intra-psychic or dyadic phases. This is when one or both partners quietly question the relationship before saying anything aloud.

Breakdowns emerge through:

Long delays in decision-making.
One partner sacrificing too much.
Avoiding conflict, causing stagnation.
Clinging to fantasy versions of the relationship.

The Hanged Man suggests that the relationship failed not from lack of love, but because of a lack of timely truth.

Angelic Tarot Ritual with Archangel Gabriel

Purpose: To surrender expectations, dissolve attachment to timelines, and re-centre in the trust that your true partner is already moving towards you.

You will need:

The Hanged Man card
A white or light blue candle
A quiet space
An invocation to Archangel Gabriel

Steps:

Place The Hanged Man card before you and light the candle.
Sit comfortably and breathe slowly, imagining your energy softening around your heart.
Say:

Archangel Gabriel, Bringer of Truth and Guardian of the Element of Water,
Wash away my doubts and dissolve every illusion that clouds my heart.
Guide me to surrender what no longer serves my path in love.
Open my spirit to trust, patience, and divine timing.
Let the Light of Healing align me with the partner destined for my highest good.

Visualise yourself suspended in a gentle glow, seeing your love life from above—calm, whole, guided.
End with gratitude, snuff the candle or let it burn out safely, and keep The Hanged Man as your mobile phone screen saver.

Check out the Angelorum Love and Relationship Tarot Spreads!