Apparently, a lot of men don’t like to talk about their feelings. I wish someone would have told me this growing up – It would have saved me a lot of hassle. You may argue it’s just a sexist cliché but as clichés go, I’ve found it to be mostly true. Many men get angry and shut down when we suggest dialogue as a way of problem solving. If I’d had a penny for every time this happened to me, I’d be a rich woman by now.
Perhaps women even developed their intuitive skills in order to gain insights into the mysterious minds of men. That’s as good a theory as any when it comes to the legendary female intuition.
Thank heaven for the gifts of second sight and divination! Here’s a little tool I developed to help you see if they will walk their talk and what is really going on in their heart and mind… And yes, this spread can definitely be used to see how SHE feels too… Women can be less than frank about their feelings too, of course, and perhaps I shouldn’t generalise. No offense intended!
1. His story – What he’s telling you
2. What he’s really thinking
3. How he feels about you deep down
4. How he’s walking his talk
5. Outside influences on his walk
6. How he will be walking his talk within 6-8 weeks
So is there an alternative to ‘psychic spying’ when it comes to understanding men (or women) who are not willing to open up in dialogue? Well, you can try giving the other person some space and ask them to let you know when they are ready to talk. In my own experience, if they have an established pattern of getting angry when asked to clarify something, that time sill be ‘never.’
If that is indeed the case, you are better off finding a more communicative partner. I know I have generalised a fair bit in this article but there are plenty of good men out there that are perfectly willing to reach an understanding between you – especially if given some time to mull things over first.
Love and Blessings
Lisa
PS. If you feel you ‘have’ to use this spread time and time again, chances are, you are NOT with the right person. There IS a better way. Do the work on yourself until you are ready to not settle for less than the person who would be willing to ‘go there’ in dialogue about their feelings and the relationship dynamic you have.