How to Know if Letting Go of a Lover is for Your Highest Good

Letting go of someone you still love is one of the hardest things you will ever have to do in life. Many find it so difficult that they would rather stay and suffer instead. Because let’s face it, most of us are decent people and decent people do not enjoy breaking the heart of another person… And when it is the heart of someone we love on some level, it hurts acutely because we feel their pain as our own (especially true for the HSP).

There are probably as many reasons as there are people for why things do not always work out even when two people love each other. And then there is the classic… You were a great match for a while but then you grew apart. It happens even to those who swore it would never happen to them (I know because I used to be one of them). None of us like to admit defeat… So how do you know when it is time to say enough?

It can be tempting to try to fix things and to examine the relationship dynamic endlessly for faulty patterns. That is all well and good if both of you are willing to do the work. But in the end, the person motivated to pack their suitcases is usually the one who has tried every trick in the book to resolve any long-standing relationship issues… while the other partner has just settled (big sighs). So on one level you already know that you are ready to say your farewells. It is at this stage many people turn to me as a reader and while I am happy to read on the situation, these days I will only read on what is the Highest Good for YOU in this situation.

I cannot read on the other person without their permission.

Besides, it really doesn’t matter what they do or where they are at with it all for the purpose of making the final decision. All that matters in this situation is that you do what is right for YOU (as you are the only person you can change) – and that is something you can definitely use the cards to look at. So here is a little Tarot spread I created for that very purpose…


You cannot make somebody else happy by sacrificing your own happiness.

1. Your relationship contentment levels – This card will uncover how even the flow of give and take is or if there is particular issue that keeps rearing its head. If a card that seems to indicate perfect contentment in every way, such as The Star or the 2 of Cups shows up here, I would encourage you to look a bit deeper by pulling an additional card.

2. What you need for your Soul’s growth – This is something you need on a very deep soul level right now and to suppress this need would not be beneficial for either of you

3. What is on offer to match your need – Reading this card together with the first two cards can give you quite a lot of detail about the current dynamic/tension

Only pull the next two cards if you realise that it truly IS time to say goodbye…If you are not ready, you need to be in dialogue with your partner to find a resolution together.  What used to be a common sense solution in the past, which is to commit (yes, commit – not try) for a year and a day, still makes sense… If you are not ready to let go, you just aren’t… but to put a time limit on the situation might infuse it with hope. And it could just be that you have lessons to still work through together.

If you do decide to try for a year and a day, do it with all your heart…

4. What action you can take for the Highest Good of All – What to actually do right now… How to go about ending the relationship and what energy to bring to it/shield yourself from. The only two cards that would tell you to do absolutely nothing right now would be the 4 of Swords and the Hanged Man. Basically, they are telling you to wait a while. Trust Spirit to nudge you when the time is right.

5. How to stay whole during the process of taking this action – Because breaking up is fucking hard.

Speaking of Angels, archangel Michael is the Angel to invoke for cutting the emotional cords, archangel Raphael for healing and archangel Raguel for preservation of harmony (as far as this is possible) – especially important when children are involved.

love raven liora

Comments 8

  1. Hi Lisa, this is an awesome spread. Got right to the heart of things. Just a little confused about the outcome as I am a beginner. 1. I got the star. Then pulled a clarifier of 2 of swords. 2. 7 of swords. 3. King of pentacles. 4. Ace of cups. 5. Five of swords. A lot of variety here…lol. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks!

    1. Post

      Hi Shannon, when you pull a clarifier you need to be clear on how it clarifies the first card, which will be based on YOUR understanding of that card. So my question back at you is ‘how?’ Also, you need to share your own interpretation and then I’m happy to answer any questions on a card you’re stuck on. Blessings, Lisa

  2. Hi Lisa, I was wondering how to know if the spread told me to keep at it or quit. This is what I got:

    1. Your relationship contentment levels – Eight of Swords (I took this as meaning that I feel trapped and like I don’t have options but that it’s self imposed)

    2. What you need for your soul’s growth – Page of Wands (I took this to mean that I need to develop some more confidence and start livening things up with this guy)

    3. What is on offer to match your need – The Lovers (An offer of love? Choices to make? This is the one that has me stumped…

    1. Post

      It simply means the choice is yours… to continue to feel trapped or to start feeling alive again. You can choose to try in your relationship or you can choose to leave. It’s up to you.

    1. Post

      Hi Caroline, The Moon is a card of reflection and trusting your own intuitive guidance… but first you have to make sure you are connected to out. So start a dream journal and take up a regular meditation practice if you have not yet done so. The Moon card often shows up when it is time for us to face our deepest fears, so this could be a signal that this particular relationship has brought up very old stuff for healing. Blessings

  3. Oh, I was going through your tarot spreads last night and literally, THIS is the type of spread I was looking for. Hmmm.. how perfectly timed? Doing this tonight. Theres a few things I know I’m meant to move forward from, so hopefully this will cast some light on the situation for my personal growth! Thanks 🙂

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