The 5 of Pentacles symbolises hardship, rejection, poverty (emotional or material), and feeling left out in the cold. It’s the archetypal “outsider” card — walking barefoot through the snow, cut off from warmth and belonging, often oblivious to the light of sanctuary just behind them. Essentially, the 5 of Pentacles as feelings in a relationship Tarot reading, suggests lack.
This could be a lack of support, affection, security, or mutual understanding. It may indicate that one or both partners feel neglected, emotionally bankrupt, or unworthy of love. But it can also point to the bond forged through shared adversity — think trauma bonding, co-dependency or staying together out of fear of abandonment rather than genuine connection.
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In-depth Love Tarot Meanings for the 5 of Pentacles
When the 5 of Pentacles shows up as feelings in a relationship Tarot reading, the Seeker could perceive their love interest as someone in need of rescuing. This hints at a victim-rescuer mentality and a tendency toward co-dependent relationships.
According to Attachment Theory, this person may have an anxious or disorganised attachment style, believing love must be earned through suffering or sacrifice.
Through the lens of Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love, the passion may be present — fuelled by the drama of saving or being saved — but commitment and intimacy are often missing or lopsided.
Key traits when the love interest is embodying the 5 of Pentacles upright:
- They feel emotionally abandoned or shut out from love.
- They may romanticise suffering or believe love is pain.
- Their self-worth is tied to how much a partner is willing to sacrifice.
- They may not believe they deserve a healthy relationship.
This dynamic often forms within the Social Exchange Theory framework, where the “costs” (emotional drain, caretaking) far outweigh the perceived “rewards” — yet the relationship continues, fuelled by guilt, obligation, or the fear of being alone.
5 of Pentacles as Feelings When Reversed or Ill-dignified
When reversed, the card often points to awareness of these unhealthy patterns and the potential to break free. It may also indicate the person is withdrawing emotionally, not out of cruelty, but out of self-preservation.
Reversal can represent:
- Breaking co-dependency cycles
- Gradual healing from rejection or abandonment wounds
- Someone “waking up” to the imbalance in the relationship
- The partner feeling overwhelmed and shutting down emotionally (ill-dignified)
In terms of Rusbult’s Investment Model, the person may be reassessing their “investments” in the relationship — time, energy, emotional labour — and beginning to ask: Is this worth it anymore?
5 of Pentacles When You Are Single and Looking
Pulling this card as a single person suggests lingering grief or emotional wounds that block new love from entering. It could signal:
- Fear of rejection sabotaging new connections
- A belief that love is out of reach or for “other people”
- Seeking out partners who confirm a narrative of abandonment
Lee’s 6 Styles of Loving links these energetic patterns to Mania (obsessive love) or Agape (self-sacrificing love), both of which can become distorted when rooted in pain rather than wholeness.
Your Attachment Style in the Relationship
If this card reflects you, your attachment style may lean towards anxious-preoccupied. You may:
- Fear abandonment and over-give to maintain connection
- Feel unworthy of love unless you’re “needed”
- Confuse intensity or suffering with emotional depth
This reflects being out of balance — you may feel like you’re constantly putting in more than you’re getting back, but you stay anyway, hoping things will eventually equalise.
Your Love Interest’s Attachment Style
If the 5 of Pentacles reflects them, they may:
- Fear they are a burden and therefore isolate themselves emotionally
- Sabotage intimacy due to deeply rooted shame or low self-worth
- Seek relationships where they feel “rescued,” not loved
This creates a dysfunctional feedback loop where their pain becomes the glue holding the relationship together.
The Energetic Connection Between You and Your Lover
Energetically, the 5 of Pentacles as feelings between both of you indicates a shared wound. There may be:
- Trauma bonding
- Co-dependency disguised as devotion
- A sense of being “in it together,” even when it’s harmful
- Next to The Devil it literally reads “better the devil you know”
While there’s potential for healing, it requires conscious effort to rebuild the connection on a foundation of mutual respect, rather than shared suffering.
As the Potential Outcome
Left unchecked, this dynamic often leads to emotional burnout. One or both partners may feel unsupported, drained, or unfulfilled — yet unable to leave due to emotional enmeshment.
The relationship might survive, but only as a “survival pact” rather than a thriving union.
However, if both parties seek help and confront these patterns honestly, the shared vulnerability that once hindered the relationship can become a pathway to real intimacy.
5 of Pentacles in a Relationship Breakdown
In Duck’s Phase Model of Relationship Breakdown, this card fits neatly into the Intra-psychic and Dyadic Phases:
- Intra-psychic: Feeling neglected, fantasising about escape
- Dyadic: Failing communication, blame, guilt, and emotional coldness
Often, the relationship has already ended emotionally — the 5 of Pentacles simply confirms it needs to end physically too, or radically transform.
Love Tarot Card Meanings + Rituals Index
Angelic Tarot Ritual to Heal Co-dependency
Purpose: Clear the victim-rescuer dynamic and make room for healthy interdependence.
You’ll need:
- The 5 of Pentacles Tarot card
- A green candle (heart chakra + Earth element)
- A small bowl of salt or soil (optional grounding element)
- Invocation to Archangel Uriel
Ritual Steps:
- Create Sacred Space. Sit comfortably and light your green candle. Place the 5 of Pentacles before you, upright.
- Ground and Centre. Place your feet on the floor, visualise roots extending into the Earth. Take a couple of deep, grounding and centring breaths.
- Invocation: “Archangel Uriel, Guardian of the Element of Earth and Keeper of Divine Wisdom, I call upon your light and peace.
Shine truth upon the patterns I am ready to release.
Help me transform fear-based attachments into heart-based connections.
Let love be rooted in balance, not need. So mote it be.” - Reflect. Gaze at the 5 of Pentacles and ask:
- Where in my life am I enabling or seeking rescue?
- What does love look like when no one needs saving?
- Affirm: “I release the pattern of co-dependency. I am worthy of mutual love. I choose wholeness.”
- Blow out the candle with gratitude. Reverse the 5 of Pentacles and keep it on your altar for one Moon cycle.
Victim–Rescuer Dynamic Relationship Tarot Spread
Use this spread, inspired by the 5 of Pentacles as feelings, to become aware of and dismantle co-dependent patterns in love.
- The Victim – How am I showing up as someone who needs saving?
- The Rescuer – How am I trying to save or fix others?
- The Root – What wound fuels this dynamic?
- The Cost – How is this affecting my ability to receive healthy love?
- The Shift – What helps me step into empowered interdependence?
- Divine Assistance – Message from Archangel Uriel to guide me on this healing path. (Feel free to use an Angel Oracle card for this)
Check out the Angelorum Love and Relationship Tarot Spreads!
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