Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future.
~ Deepak Chopra
I came across this quote by Deepak Chopra earlier and it really struck a chord with me. The truth is that being reactive keeps our relationships in a time-warp where we keep repeating past mistakes. Argue, rinse, repeat gets old very quickly. You start looking around, thinking ‘Maybe there is someone better out there for me…’ But the problem isn’t necessarily with the other person… it’s with the undetected pattern which holds you hostage to old emotional wounds.
It’s time to imagine how totally different and wonderfully awesome things could be and then start responding in ways that make it so. It’s a terrible mistake to think that things have to remain the same because they have always been a certain way. It is equally awful to not give your partner the freedom to change. You want them to grant you that freedom, right? It has to be a two-way thing!
Forget all the old clichés about old dogs not being able to learn or leopards not being able to change their spots. Anything you can imagine, you can do… and so can your partner!
Try this simple 3-card Relationship Pioneer Tarot Spread to check the state of your relationship, detect your unhealthy pattern and learn how to move forward with an optimistic, pioneering spirit.
1. State of the relationship – 7 of Wands. Both parties are seeking to express their individuality in this relationship. This can include the occasional power struggle. Deep-rooted fears about not being good enough or capable enough could rear their ugly heads from time to time but on the whole this is a couple willing to fight for their relationship.
2. Prisoner – Death. In spite of their best intentions, this couple risks reaching the end of the road if they keep being reactive. Looking to the other person for validation or somehow getting validation from gaining the upper hand will kill the love they have for each other. The relationship will end but the lesson will remain for them to resolve elsewhere.
3. Pioneer – 10 of Pentacles. Both parties determine to self-validate and believe in themselves as well as their talents. They start building a solid foundation based on trust – one that will carry not only them, but future generations. They have a much better than a snowball’s chance in hell of making it. 🙂