Today, we are looking at the top 10 excuses for cheating in the Tarot… and why that sh*t won’t fly. Please remember this if you have been the victim of cheating: It is never your fault that the other person cheats. Any time the cheater is trying to manipulate you into believing that it is, you are better off moving on from the relationship post-haste.
“Cheating and lying aren’t struggles, they’re reasons to break up.”
― Patti Callahan Henry
1. I was/we were drunk
7 of Cups + The Devil + Knight of Wands
Real reason: Sense of entitlement and an inability to take responsibility for one’s choices bear witness to incredible immaturity. Can you do anything and get away with it because you had a drink? You’d still get jail time for robbery or murder if you were under the influence!
2. I wanted to shake up our marriage and make it better
7 of Swords + Tower + Justice
Real reason: Only a total liar uses this excuse. If they really wanted to shake you up, they could ask you if you want to have an open marriage/relationship. Going someone’s back shows a lack of both integrity and empathy.
3. You work too much
7 of Swords + The Emperor + 8 of Pentacles
Real reason: Feeling neglected is not a valid excuse for cheating – the real reason (again) could be the kind of insecurity that demands constant validation from the other person. The person who feels neglected should address the issue and try to find constructive solutions to the problem. Cheating solves nothing.
4. You don’t give me any attention
4 of Cups + The Empress + The Devil
Real reason: Again, this excuse is about being/feeling neglected – see excuse #3 + also a sense of entitlement. A person who cheats because they don’t feel they are getting enough attention is often not very good at showing appreciation for their partner and the sense of entitlement usually outweighs their own generosity.
5. I have never cheated before but something just snapped
7 of Swords + The Devil + 10 of Wands
Real reason: This is an excuse of the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ variety, aimed at eliciting empathy from the victim of cheating and planting the seeds of doubt there may be some underlying mental health condition to blame rather than individual culpability.
6. I am unhappy/depressed/I have issues/a mid-life crisis
7 of Swords + 5 of Cups + The Devil
Real reason: Similar to excuse #5. An inability to consider the feelings of the other, lying and immaturity.
7. It’s in my nature to cheat
7 of Swords + 3 of Cups + The Devil
Real reason: The most truthful excuse ever but hey, ask him/her why the heck they can’t just grow the fuck up and be in a relationship with someone who is happy to have an open relationship. That way they don’t need to lie!
8. We didn’t plan it; it just happened
Page of Wands + Knight of Wands + 7 of Swords
Real reason: And here we have the vapid excuse. That it ‘just happened’ is obviously just as likely as you falling on a penis while out walking or your tongue slipping into the person’s mouth behind you in the queue at the post office.
9. The sex is fantastic. You and I could never seem to get it to work
7 of Swords + The Tower + The Empress
Real reason: This is not a valid excuse even IF you tried everything to sort it out, including Tantric workshops, which you most likely didn’t because the cheater has taken the easy way out. Again, a sense of entitlement is implied and the other person is most likely quite shallow if this is their excuse.
10. It was just sex. She/he doesn’t mean anything to me
3 of Cups + Queen of Wands + The Devil
Real reason: This is probably quite a truthful excuse as far as excuses go. However, bear in mind that because they did this to you, you probably don’t mean that much to this very entitled person either. This is another shallow person’s excuse and you are, like with the others, better off without him or her in your life.
I want to finish this article with a quote that truly acknowledges the pain cheating causes…
“livid, adj.
Fuck You for cheating on me. Fuck you for reducing it to the word cheating. As if this were a card game, and you sneaked a look at my hand. Who came up with the term cheating, anyway? A cheater, I imagine. Someone who thought liar was too harsh. Someone who thought devastator was too emotional. The same person who thought, oops, he’d gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Fuck you. This isn’t about slipping yourself an extra twenty dollars of Monopoly money. These are our lives. (...) You killed something. And you killed it when its back was turned.”
― David Levithan
Comments 6
I agree 100%, as long as there are other options to cheating. In the US, at least, there’s no excuse. In countries where you can be killed for leaving your marriage, it’s another story, but most of the world does not have an excuse. If a person’s needs aren’t getting met to the point where he/she is thinking of cheating, that person needs to leave the marriage. It’s that simple. The marriage is going to be over either way so it can be over before they cheat. There’s never a reason to cheat on someone and people that think there is are playing the victim role themselves. You’re not happy? Leave. Not getting enough sex? Leave. Not getting enough attention? Leave. Or tell your spouse what you’re about to do so they have the option of leaving your immoral, vow-breaking behind. Anything else is a coward’s way out. Thanks for posting this.
My pleasure!
Hi Lisa !!nice post !!!! ! What exactly the meaning of 7 of swords? Is it cheating that person is doing something on ur back??? N one more question does 3 of cups means engagement ???
N wanted to tell u thanks for ur mini readings that u did earlier… U know it was so true…… My ex he was not that what he was showing to me….. Got to know from someone… U told me that ….. N u told me that this relationship will not end till one of u will not take a decision that that’s it…I took the decision n it’s all over ….once again thanks for ur mini readings…. N could u pls tell me about those two cards plssss
Thanks
Thanks Jasmine. Each card has more than one meaning and has to be read in context with the other cards as well as of the question in order to get its exact meaning. The 7 of Sword often indicates deceit in some form and the 3 of Cups is notoriously flirty in addition to being and indication of a celebration such an engagement.
When a person cheats, it’s almost never that cut and dried. You think men want to cheat? Some, maybe but most would rather have that love and attention coming from their spouse. Make no mistake, when someone cheats, they aren’t getting their needs met in their marriage and THAT is partly the FAULT of the spouse. Yes, I said it. Both partners play a role. And if you see yourself as solely a victim, you will never understand the truth, which is: marriage takes work and attention; solid and continual tending. Short of that, he might cheat and yes, it’s partly your fault.
The premise that someone else is somehow responsible for meeting all their needs is usually part of the kind of entitlement that leads people to cheat. If you are with the right one they will meet your core needs though. That’s something you need to make sure beforehand… and yes, it can be tricky when you’re younger. The idea that there is only one culprit (and hence one victim) when it comes to cheating does not preclude both people being responsible for making the relationship work. The reason is of course that cheating is NEVER the only available option to anyone. In fact, anyone who claims that it is so is a liar. Yes, I said it. I have never cheated (even when I have been unhappy in the relationship), nor been cheated on. I have however met men who have lied to me, pretending to be single when they have a wife at home. None of them were unhappy enough with their wives to actually leave though. That is often the case when you prioritise financial security over integrity and seeking a healthy resolution.