Working with the Dark Goddess is not easy but extremely beneficial. I’m allowing her to guide me as I make the transition from Maiden to Crone. And I’m allowing her to uncover the unhealed rage I suppressed over feeling as if I were conned into becoming a mother before I was healed enough to take on that role. I feel as if I’m going from Maiden straight to Crone, having skipped the Mother phase. Perhaps that is how it feels when you are forced to nurture without having been nurtured.
Jump to the Unhealed Rage Tarot Spread
We are talking about a generational curse here. I’m carrying the deeply buried rage of many generations of women. My memory of abuse and abandonment only extends to the stories my grandmother shared but I’m sure it didn’t start with her. She told me about how she was forced to stay in an orphanage after both parents died from tuberculosis when she was six years old. In this orphanage, she very nearly starved to death before being rescued by relatives at age 12. As a consequence, her daughter (my mother) suffered abuse in turn. To complete the cycle, my mother left me with my physically and emotionally abusive father at age three and after that, we only had sporadic contact before she died. CPTSD is a diagnosis that I believe firmly applies to many generations of women in my family.
Not Enough
I used to profess sadness at having been ‘not enough’ for my children though I protected them from living in constant fear the way I did as a child. My attempt to replace my birth family with a church family backfired in ways that hurt those I love, for instance. It is only in the past year that I understood that I suffered from Religious Trauma syndrome as an extension of CPTSD.
But it’s time to look ‘under the hood’ of that sadness. I sneak a peek and realise that there is a lot of unprocessed anger and even rage. And it’s time to face that rage so I can let it go. The Dark Mother is showing me this and I trust her. I’m allowing her to mother me now as I enter into the last third of my life, my Crone Years. It is her spirit I’m channelling for the Unhealed Rage Shadow Work Tarot spread below.
Embracing the Spectrum of Emotions for Healing
Every emotion is valid and carries its own weight and significance. They are messengers, bearing insights from the depths of our psyche, clues to conflicts and needs that lie beneath the surface. What we label as ‘negative’ emotions are not anomalies but intrinsic facets of our being, signals that something within us seeks attention, change, or rebalancing.
The path to healing old wounds begins with a courageous act—acknowledging our repressed emotions. Without this acknowledgement, these feelings can fester, influencing our thoughts, behaviours, and relationships from the shadows.
Listening to the Message Within
Anger and rage, for instance, can signify boundaries that have been crossed, injustices endured, or personal power that has been stifled. In the case shared from the transformative journey guided by the Dark Goddess, we see a poignant example of anger catalysing the recognition of a cycle of generational pain and trauma. It’s the flame that brings to light the unhealed parts of the soul, insisting not to be ignored but rather integrated and understood.
The First Step to Transformation
The initial step toward transformation is to simply allow these emotions the space to exist—to sit with them, feel their full intensity, and listen to their story. It can be challenging, especially when society often coaches us to suppress such expressions of vulnerability. However, it is only once we stop resisting these emotions that we can begin to unravel their purpose.
Embracing the Whole Self
Accepting all facets of our emotional selves enables us to embrace our wholeness. We cannot selectively numb or dispose of parts of our emotional selves without impacting our capacity to feel joy, love, and compassion. Instead, we must learn to navigate through the entirety of our emotions, understanding that they are transitory but also enlightening.
Pausing for Reflection
Take a moment to consider the following questions:
- What emotions do I find myself avoiding or suppressing?
- What might these emotions be trying to tell me about my needs or boundaries?
- How can I create a safe space within myself to explore these feelings?
A Journey of Unveiling and Freedom
Acknowledging and addressing repressed emotions is not an easy journey. It often requires steadfastness and support. But by daring to recognise and honour all our feelings, we sow the seeds of profound healing and growth. Like the unfolding narrative of moving from Maiden to Crone, it is an intimate and sacred dialogue with the self—a reclamation of personal power and a stride towards inner peace.
The Mother is always with us, even those of us who feel ‘orphaned’ by our birth mothers. We have to become our own Mother and deep down, I know it’s never too late. I trust the Dark Mother’s whispers about this truth. But first, I am allowing myself to feel both the sadness and the rage of mothering not being a thing in my life.
The Unhealed Rage Shadow Work Tarot Spread
The unhealed rage tarot spread is for anyone seeking to confront and heal the anger that has been buried within them. Please do it together with a trusted friend if you need emotional support.
Preparing for the Reading
Before you begin, find a quiet and comfortable space free of distractions. Take deep breaths, ground yourself, and set the intention for your reading. (Petition the Dark Goddess you are working with for wisdom and guidance if applicable.) Approach with an open heart and mind, ready to face whatever may come to the surface.
The Spread Layout
- The Root of Rage
Reveals the underlying reasons for your unhealed rage—past experiences or hurts that ignited these feelings. - Hidden Impact
Uncovers how this rage has been affecting you unconsciously, and the aspects of your life it has been influencing. - Expression Blocked
Highlights how and where you’ve been preventing this rage from surfacing in your conscious life. - Message of Rage
Helps you understand what this rage has been trying to communicate to you about your needs and boundaries. - Pathway Through
Shows a way to allow this repressed emotion to be safely expressed and acknowledged. - Healing Action
Identifies an actionable step or practice that will help you begin the healing process and address the emotion. - Transformative Outcome
Points to the potential positive transformations that can occur once you’ve released this unhealed rage. - Supportive Energies
Indicates the energies, people, or practices that can support you as you work through your unhealed rage. - Personal Power Reclaimed
Offers insight into how acknowledging and releasing this rage will empower you and return personal agency to your life.
Conducting the Reading
Shuffle your tarot deck, focusing on the rage you wish to uncover and heal. Lay out the cards in the order specified above. Take your time with each card, allowing its message to seep into your awareness. Journaling about each card’s meaning can greatly enhance the process of shadow work.
Reflection After the Reading
After the reading, spend a few moments in reflection. How do you feel? What insights have you gained? What steps will you take next on your healing journey? Acknowledge and thank yourself for the courage it took to do this work.
Consider seeking the guidance of a professional counsellor or therapist to assist you in processing and integrating these powerful emotions. Shadow work can be profound and intense, and having support can make this journey more manageable and meaningful.
Unhealed Rage Sample Reading
The Root of Rage – 9 of Cups
The 9 of Cups traditionally signals contentment and wishes fulfilled. In the context of unhealed rage, it could represent a sense of complacency or an unacknowledged desire for emotional fulfilment. It may indicate that your rage stems from a deep-seated need that was overlooked or from the disappointment of not having your emotional needs met even when they appeared to be.
Hidden Impact – The Hermit
The Hermit card is about introspection and seeking inner wisdom. Its presence suggests that your unhealed rage has caused you to withdraw, possibly isolating you as a means of protection. It also points to a hidden impact where your healing journey requires solitude to understand and process your emotions deeply.
Expression Blocked – Knight of Wands
The Knight of Wands is usually associated with energy, passion, and adventurousness. When it comes to blocked expression, it may indicate that the spontaneous and assertive aspects of your personality are being suppressed. Your rage might be stifling your natural inclination towards taking decisive action and expressing your true self.
Message of Rage – The Sun
The Sun card symbolises clarity, joy, and vitality. Within this spread, it suggests that your rage is trying to communicate the need for these qualities in your life. The rage is perhaps a signal that you are ready to come out of the darkness and embrace the light, seeking truth and transparency.
Pathway Through – The Chariot
The Chariot represents moving forward with resolve and confidence. It advises that the pathway through your rage involves taking control over opposing forces within yourself and steering a course towards healing. Discipline and willpower are your allies as you navigate this journey.
Healing Action – 10 of Cups
The 10 of Cups is a card of emotional abundance and familial bliss. As a healing action, it suggests that forging deep and meaningful connections will assist in healing. Building or restoring trust in relationships could be key in addressing your unhealed rage.
Transformative Outcome – The Hierophant
The Hierophant is often associated with education, spiritual wisdom, and guidance. In healing from unhealed rage, this card indicates a transition into a role of leadership and the ability to teach others. As you work through your anger, you gain a profound understanding that can be shared, inspiring those around you. The Hierophant suggests that your journey of healing will not only transform you but also enable you to guide others through their darkness. Your wisdom becomes a tool for communal growth and empowerment.
Supportive Energies – Page of Swords
The Page of Swords is curious and eager to learn. As supportive energy, it represents an inquisitive mindset that can aid you. Seeking knowledge, being open to new ideas, and communicating your truth will be beneficial. The Page also encourages you to remain vigilant and discerning on your path to recovery.
Personal Power Reclaimed – 2 of Swords
The 2 of Swords can indicate the need to use discernment when making future choices, as well as peace restored. By addressing tough choices and overcoming hesitations, you restore harmony and balance to your life. This card encourages the importance of embracing calm and finding resolution, not through avoidance but through decisive decision-making. With each decision, peace is not only possible but also renewed.
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