Relationships are our greatest mirrors. Whether romantic, platonic, or professional, they reveal parts of ourselves we might not otherwise see. That’s why working with a relationship Tarot spread like this one can be so enlightening. It’s simple, flexible, and designed to give insight into each person’s lessons and challenges, and the shared dynamics at play.
You can use this spread:
- At the beginning of a new relationship to understand compatibility and emotional readiness
- In an ongoing relationship, to work through conflict and deepen connection
- After a breakup, to assess whether reconciliation is possible, or even wise
- For non-romantic connections, because not all soul contracts wear the cloak of romance
With this spread, you’ll gain not just understanding, but direction.
“The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.” — Tony Robbins
LESSONS AND CHALLENGES RELATIONSHIP TAROT SPREAD
- Your Current Lesson
- Your Current Challenge
- Your Partner’s Current Lesson
- Your Partner’s Current Challenge
- Your Lesson as a Couple
- Your Challenge as a Couple
- Advice About the Best Course of Action
- The Outcome (Provided the Advice is Acted On)
This layout helps you explore the psychological dynamics and soul lessons at work in the relationship. It can also be helpful in therapy or shadow work journaling, as it encourages you to take ownership of your patterns while building empathy for the other person’s journey.
“Someone who is brave enough to withdraw all his projections, [is] an individual who is conscious of a pretty thick shadow.” ~Carl Jung
Lessons and Challenges Relationship Sample Tarot Reading
Your Current Lesson & Challenge
You’re being called to align your actions with your personal values. The Hierophant often points to internalised beliefs or cultural conditioning—perhaps you’re navigating questions around tradition, authority, or your role in the relationship. Justice indicates karmic balancing. Are you holding yourself accountable while also making room for fairness and truth?
From a psychological perspective, this combination highlights the need to examine whether you’re acting from your own authentic values or inherited ones. Justice asks: are you being fair—to yourself?
Your Partner’s Current Lesson & Challenge
The Hanged Man + 9 of Pentacles
Your partner may be experiencing a phase of withdrawal, reflection, or even emotional distance. The Hanged Man suggests they are learning to surrender control and see things from a new perspective. The 9 of Pentacles speaks to independence and self-worth; they may be figuring out how to feel secure in themselves before investing further in the relationship.
This pairing suggests someone learning to balance their desire for emotional space with the responsibilities of connection. Emotional detachment can be a form of self-preservation rather than rejection. The question is: can they return to the connection from a place of inner wholeness?
Couple’s Lesson & Challenge
10 of Pentacles + Queen of Cups
Together, you’re learning how to build something lasting—whether that’s a shared home, family, or vision of the future. The 10 of Pentacles is legacy energy: stability, commitment, and long-term goals. The Queen of Cups brings emotional depth and intuitive understanding, but she can also represent the tendency to overextend emotionally or fall into caretaking roles.
Psychologically, this points to the need for emotional maturity. Do both partners feel emotionally safe and seen? Is one person absorbing more of the emotional labour than the other? You’re being invited to co-create something solid, but only if both of you are equally invested in emotional transparency.
Advice: Best Course of Action
The relationship may be weighed down by unspoken expectations or emotional burdens. One or both of you might be trying to carry too much, either for the sake of peace or out of a sense of responsibility. This card is a call to drop what’s not yours to carry.
It’s essential to identify the difference between healthy support and emotional martyrdom. If you’ve been overextending, it may be time to reclaim your energy and set clear boundaries. Help, but don’t enable.
Outcome (If the Advice Is Acted On)
If you’re willing to walk away from the old emotional patterns, whether that means ending the relationship or simply letting go of unhealthy habits, there is a profound opportunity for growth. The 8 of Cups often signals the search for deeper emotional fulfilment. It can represent the painful, necessary act of moving on from something that’s no longer aligned with your deeper needs.
Sometimes the path to wholeness leads through loss. But often, what you’re truly leaving behind is disillusionment, not love. In doing so, you make space for something more meaningful to take root.
Sometimes walking away has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength.
Check out the Angelorum Love and Relationship Tarot Spreads!
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Comments
After doing several readings without a focus, I tried your spread and the results are much more explanatory than I have revealed before. Thankfully I feel I understand it but I still try to grasp the quick picture within.
I pulled out:
1,2 universe/intuition.
3,4 solitude/heartache &loss
5,6 hope/prosperity begins
7 triumphant success
8 rest & rejuvenate
So as far as I understood, with my limited experience: I know already the answers, I have to listen within. My partners struggles can be overcome with meditation and looking within also. Stay strong, go into the challenges with hope and we will be rewarded, then finally chance to rest will come.
Thanks for guiding. I’d love to know more about how to read this way, it’s much easier to understand than the long books.
Love & light,
Pamela
Hi Pamela, glad you were able to make sense of your reading with this spread. I don’t really have much to add unless you have a specific question…? Feel free to make suggestions about future articles, eBooks and eCourses. Are you looking to learn specifically about how to read for love and relationships this way or just develop in general? Love and Light, Lisa
I don’t mean to post so many comments. I’m sorry but I have an insatiable need for learning right now.
I did this spread and came across some quite interesting things.
1. 10 of pentacles 2. Queen of wands. I know I need to become her and especially emotionally independent. For a long time I avoided the mother role even after my daughter was born. He has a daughter from a previous marriage. But my deep desire is to be financially stable and have my family reunited.
3. Knight of wands 4. The tower. Not sure here, he’s the one that broke up with me but he’s getting the tower? Maybe he’s having to deal with his sudden decision to leave me and his world is falling apart. Or maybe me telling him to leave if he wasn’t going to work on things, meant I upset his Apple cart and now he’s back living with his parents and sleeping on the couch too broke to get his own place. Basically he didn’t think any of this through.
5. The fool 6. 3 of pentacles. We need to take risks with each other and have fun together. Know when it’s time to take a break and play. Also working as a team on building a solid foundation. Maybe we need the foundation in order to have fun?
7. 9 of pentacles. Independence. Giving each other space. Having our own interests and hobbies. This follows my queen of wands and the need for emotional independence. I love you but we don’t have to do everything together.
8. King of cups. If we give each other space we will ultimately reach an emotionally mature relationship with genuine love and care for each other. Deep and solid. That’s if we’re able to work on things of course like the 5,6 and 7 cards show. Though with the 9 of pentacles, even if we didn’t get back together and we still did the work, I have a feeling we would still benefit in the way of the King of cups for ourselves.
I find that I’m willing to do the work and take the risk, but he doesn’t. Not sure how to make him see that its worth the risk.
Hi Cecile, You just explained why the Tower makes sense there. It looks his rash Knight of Wands decision got the better of him. So sorry for the mega late reply, btw. As you can see, I have moved blogs and somehow managed to miss your comment. The Fool as the lesson is about the need to understand that this will probably never be a ‘conventional’ relationship where you settle down together… It’s the kind of relationship where you need to give each other LOTS of space! And yes, that makes team-work a massive challenge. Blessings, Lisa
yes, that’s looking good 🙂 glad you enjoyed it!
Did it and loved loved loved it
1,2. Suffering in Silence / Triumph
3,4. Base Chakra / victory and success
5,6. conflict and defeat / spiritual union
7. Waiting game
8. Partnership and Aliances
So basically we are both here to learn a lesson and both are trying to win. If we learn to give up and accept defeat instead of trying to win it all, and try to focus on union of our spirits, there is a chance for partnership.
I’ve loved this reading and the spread. Very positive.
Cool! Look forward to it. 🙂 Which deck will you be using?
Going to try this one, Lisa! Will report! 😉
This spread works really well with the Psychic Tarot Oracle. The absence of Courtiers is ideal and the addition of Chakra cards is… well, just perfect! Would love to hear how you get on with this. So glad you’re enjoying the spreads on here 🙂
When I looked at this spread in my email box which shows only apart of the post, I was thinking I would do this spread for me and a friend using the Psychic Oracle. I’m so surprised that you did the same spread with same oracle. I will try this out today or tomorrow. Thank you so much for your wonderful spreads about the most asked questions.