Whereas people may argue about the accurate definition of the word divination, few disagree about the meaning of the term fortune-telling. The latter is straight up about telling fortunes/predicting the future. It also involves ‘crossing the palm with silver’ or paying for a service if you see a professional. I should know because I used to work as a fortune-teller.
But I was a bit of a snob about it and didn’t like the term. I preferred the term divination. I also disliked the term psychic which, conjured up an image of telephone line scammers in my mind. The role of the phone line psychic is to keep the client hanging on for as long as possible. The bosses even tell you as much. I know because I briefly worked as one. And I’ve heard other tarot readers testify to how unethical many of these companies are.
Essentially, by doing fortune-telling, I was in violation of my own ethics as a reader. I tried to ameliorate the absolute state of this by telling my clients (and myself) that the future is not set in stone (it really isn’t!!). But because I was catering to their need to feel in control of their future, I know they still pinned their hope on the ‘outcome’ of any given reading. That was wrong and deep down I knew it but I repressed the truth of it and kept doing it. People-pleasing can lead even well-intentioned persons astray. I’m sorry.
Fortune-telling definitely lowered my vibration. When you lower your vibration and compromise your integrity, you open yourself wide to entity possession. These beings honestly never miss an opportunity. So when I said a while back that I was delivered from a spirit of python, I meant it. I was referencing spiritual reality.
Fundie Relapse
Unfortunately, because this happened in a fundamentalist Christian setting, my deliverance led to a relapse into fundamentalism. It was a brief relapse this time, compared to in 2020 when it lasted six months. I detected the pattern much sooner and also received more outside support this time.
So I’m once again deconstructing but this time in a framework of understanding that RTS (religious trauma syndrome) is a thing and that, in my case, it is tied in with CPTSD from childhood trauma.
Finding Language
Not long ago, I came across the YouTube channel of John St Julien. His videos are helping me find language to describe what happened to me. He’s a Follower of the Way who is not afraid to experiment or question traditional Christianity. His eyes are open to the spiritual reality we live in.
This morning I watched a video where he talks about how to protect ourselves from spiritual attacks. It basically explains the spiritual reality I have experienced in such a tangible way recently. I highly recommend watching it, not just if you have dabbled in predicting the future for yourself or others but if you feel at all disconnected from Source/God and your own centre.
Moving Forward
I’m now learning to be okay with moving forward without knowing “THE” Truth (with a capital T) or seeking to control/manipulate the outcome. I can see that both my relapse into fundamentalism and my misuse of the tarot cards in the form of fortune-telling essentially come from the same place. It is a fear of the unknown that drives people to both. And, sadly, both disconnect us from what we yearn for most which is to be fully connected both horizontally and vertically through LOVE.
Fundamentalism disconnects us through dogma, legalism, guilt and shame. Fortune-telling manipulates and seeks to control destiny in a way that disconnects us from trusting in God’s Providence. You simply cannot remain centred in your Self, in the NOW, when you are pinning your hopes on a specific outcome. Your expectations create hooks. And those hooks can serve to create self-fulfilling prophecies as well as invite unwanted entities into your energy field. Those same entities can’t feed on you when you are centred and aligned!
The Place of the Tarot Cards in My Life
Deciding to not do fortune-telling anymore does not mean that tarot cards have no place in my life. This is where I profoundly disagree with fundie dogma that sees almost everything as ‘demonic portals.’ It wasn’t pieces of cardboard that acted as a portal for entity attachment. It was me compromising my ethics and my integrity.
When I worked with the tarot cards intuitively for personal development, whether for myself or my clients, I always felt at peace. Using the cards for holistic healing is always what I longed for deep down. That is how I started out with my tarot blogging. Unfortunately, I let the expectations associated with being a tarot reader rule my usage of the cards.
Currently, I’m working my way through a digital artwork project that I have titled the Wyld Godde Tarot. This is helping me recover from RTS as well as anchor my tarot practice into the centre of my being, far away from any expectations that come with being a professional tarot reader.
Tarot Coaching
My vision for the future is to use the tarot cards in a coaching framework, together with EFT/tapping. So any future sessions will most likely be in-person or via Zoom/Skype. This will be a more useful/grounded as well as a more high-vibrational way of working with the tarot than fortune-telling.
For now, I am still working on my own healing, to make sure that if/when I do start offering services again, I come from a place that is grounded and centred, with healthy and watertight boundaries. My Pisces Moon is partially to blame for my semipermeable boundaries. So I aim to harness more of my Capricorn solar power moving forward while retaining the intuitive gift that comes with having the Moon in Pisces.
To be fair, I have always tried to steer my clients in the direction of seeing the tarot cards as a tool for coaching and mapping the way from where they are to where they want to be rather than seeing it as a predictive tool. But I can’t blame anybody but myself for not enforcing boundaries around that. I will not be making that same mistake again.
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