I’ve been around the New Age block more than once. It’s where people with esoteric interests tend to gather though some still affiliate themselves with various religious organisations. One of the things that makes the New Age community difficult for me as an Indigo to deal with is the fact that the ‘Love & Light’ surface often is a poor match for what I pick up on intuitively. 

A tendency of mine to be brutally honest about my own short-comings and need for grace, rather than choose to wear the commonly proffered mask of Love & Light is probably why I occasionally tend to find my way back to traditional Christian worship, especially around the time of Lent which is the season of confession, self-denial and ego mortification. Yet I feel at home precisely nowhere. In a sense, I feel like I embody the unrest preceding the paradigm shift of the proper dawning of the New Age which will blow the socks off the money-driven model we have now. Or at least I hope it will.

Essentially, what I see when I look within myself is someone who hasn’t managed to quite make the world a good fit but also hasn’t managed to find a sub culture that resonates completely either. I’ve outgrown the strictures of patriarchal religion because of too many spiritual and super natural experiences that defy both science and dogma, yet I know that ancient wisdom is the ‘shoulders of giants’ upon which we must all stand if we wish to keep growing (yes, we need the Hierophant!).

Basically, I learn by fucking up a lot and simply put, if I’m perfectly truthful, I see myself as a psychic misfit. When I realised that this was probably the best label I could choose for myself, I wondered if there were perhaps others out there who feel the same… There is only one way to find out and that is to do what I’m doing here… and then hope and pray that any kindred spirits who happen to stop by take a moment to connect by leaving a comment.

Hence we are doing Misfit Mondays here on the blog – A series of posts about the burden of having a gift that the world (mostly) doesn’t want, the Church judges and that makes it impossible to don the mask of spiritual self-sufficiency which makes you spend more and more money in the New Age money-making machine in the hopes of finally cracking it, which you never will. You are being played. The antidote is clearly shown in the Star card: we need grace, people… but first most of us have to have our own personal Tower experience – I’ve had a few!

My hope is that these posts will help you feel that you are not alone and that is OK not being entirely OK even though you are on a spiritual path… Because GRACE. Perhaps we will even come together as kindred spirits this way – a rag-tag band of psychic misfits who just want to use our gifts for the Highest Good without being forced to learn the latest marketing techniques that appeal to the lowest common denominator (yes, fear!).

When I was 15, I had two experiences that shaped my spiritual journey, though to which extent I had no idea at the time. I underwent confirmation studies taught by a priest in the Swedish Church. In spite of intuitively knowing that the Church wasn’t a good fit for me (though I loved Jesus), I decided to go ahead with the confirmation because it was expected of me. The confirmation studies took place in Weymouth, UK, so doubled as language studies for me and my sister. We did a couple of day trips during our three-week stay and one of them was to Eastbourne, where I happened to step inside an occult book shop, somehow having managed to shake the other members of our group.

As soon as I stepped inside the door, the man behind the till looked up and his eyes glazed over. He said: ‘You are going to be a Tarot reader one day.’ 

I thought to myself how odd this was and I was 100% sure that he was wrong but his words stayed with me… Just a few weeks prior to this incident, I had done my first ever Tarot reading for a friend, and uncovered that she was being sexually abused by her mum’s new boyfriend – incidentally another priest in the Swedish Church!

No. Just no. That episode with my friend had spooked me quite badly, though I was happy that it led to her plucking up the courage to tell her mother and bring an end to the abuse.

Besides, I didn’t want to end up a social outcast… like my unemployable mother who spent her days on some kind of spiritual quest, chasing her tale while her life turned to shit around her (in my 15-year-old mind). My extremely psychic paternal grandmother had disowned her gifts for the greater good, as had my dad, and I was quite prepared to do the same. Life demanded of me that I learn a skill that would help me earn a good living and provide stability for any future children. My mother left when I was three years old and I certainly would. NOT. end. up. like. HER.

Life did its thing and after high school, I studied at an American University to become a psychologist but switched to acting studies after year one. After my second year at uni, I moved back to Sweden and decided to become a dance teacher. A knee injury put an end to those plans so next I decided to become a language teacher. Those studies were interrupted by two pregnancies… Somewhere along the line, I did one full year of Bible study, which I believe was followed by physiotherapy studies for a year… Then my knee healed sufficiently and I missed the dancing, so I finally return to the University College of Dance in Stockholm to complete my dance teaching certificate in Character dance.

I was 30 years old and had two young children. I was also in the process of getting divorced so teaching dance on evenings and weekends wasn’t really an option. I needed a ‘proper’ job and managed to land one as a medical secretary much thanks to being proficient at touch typing (the only valuable skill I learned in high school) and knowing medical terminology from my physiotherapy studies.

I can honestly say that none of it was thought through or properly planned. Things just seemed to happen to me and very little of it had made sense up until that point… but it was around the time of my first divorce that I started gaining a real appreciation for the Tarot. There was a truth and undeniable honesty in the cards that was so hard to come by in a world full of people more concerned with how they appeared to others than the actual welfare of their own souls.

I eventually recognised the Tarot as something much more than a tool for telling fortunes – I saw that it was a mirror for my soul and it was a mirror that just reflected rather than judge… I had found the perfect tool for doing what I always deep down felt I had come here to do, which is to help people with their soul growth in a pastoral capacity. I hindsight, I can see how all my studies helped me achieve the level of understanding I needed to make the Tarot work for me in terms of facilitating change and soul growth for my clients.

But I’m rushing ahead of myself. Long before I had my first paying client, I started blogging about the Tarot. I was in my mid 30’s at the time and had no plan to turn my interest in the Tarot into a business. The journey itself – and sharing it with others through writing – was my only aim. Gradually, more and more people found me, and I started getting requests for readings.

This happened around the time where I had to come up with some way of earning a living, so the time of going self-employed as a Tarotpreneur had arrived. Yet, I hesitated. My self-doubt (ego-mind) was doing a number on me something rotten. What finally helped me take that leap of faith was something as mundane as a free one day self-employment seminar arranged by my local job centre. I looked around the room and saw regular people from various backgrounds and thought, ‘Hey, they’re human and so am I. If they can do it, so can I!’

All of a sudden my excitement at being able to do something I love for a living completely overtook my fear and I went for it. I had half a clue about what I was doing and pretty much no idea about the business side of things so I had to learn by the seat of my pants… but I’m still here, 6½ years later so I guess I’m doing something right… and, more importantly, I still love my job!

By the time I started doing readings professionally, I was in denial about my psychic gifts. I had studied with the Tarot Association of the British Isles and while ethically sound, there was very little to inspire psychic input within their mentoring program. Yet, here’s the funny thing… When you are a Tarot reader, you often find yourself registering under the ‘Psychics’ heading in all the directories you want to be in so that online clients can find you.

So there I was, in my early 40’s starting a career as ‘Psychic’ without actually owning any of my gifts… yet using them sporadically – especially my dominant gift of claircognizance. So yeah, if that’s not a psychic misfit, I don’t know what is!

I am a Tarot reader who is advised to keep quiet about what she does for a living when she attends worship and I am a ChristoPagan who is ridiculed by Pagan Tarot readers for claiming the Tarot has Christian roots. I am a psychic who is in the process of (re-)discovering and claiming her gifts and I am an Indigo who cannot abide spiritual bypass. I am a Lightworker, often more at home in the Shadowlands, where the pain cuts the deepest and where people are crying out for grace… I am a Shadowworker perpetually drawn (sometimes kicking and screaming) toward the Light. I am your best friend if you have the courage to be authentic and your worst nightmare if you don’t.

I made this Tarot spread for YOU if any of the above resonates. It’s time for us to own the fact that we don’t quite fit in as something really fucking great! What do people who fit in contribute to society? More of the same. What does the world need now if we want to survive and improve life on this planet for all living beings? CHANGE!

You can help bring this change so own your misfit status with joy and anticipation!

A Tarot Spread for Psychic Misfits

THE PSYCHIC MISFIT TAROT SPREAD

1. Why I’m not meant to fit in – Shows you the nature of the type of change you are here to bring about
2. Greatest misfit blessing – Shows how being different is a big help to you as well as others
3. Greatest misfit challenge – Shows how being different creates challenges. Owning this aspect can help you face these challenges head on and start seeing them as opportunities for growth rather than as somebody or some unseen power trying to sabotage things for you… The truth is, even the challenges are there for your soul’s benefit!
4. How to create stability – Stability is the tough part for most psychic misfits because we have had to learn how to survive by rolling with life’s punches. All it takes is a slight shift of perception so that you realise that creating stability is not only achievable… You are actually responsible for this.
5. How to create change – This ties in with position number one and is the action advice on how to bring more of this kind of change to the world.

Hope you enjoy working with this spread – I would love to hear what you get in the comments!

 

So much love!

Lisa Frideborg

 

14 thoughts on “Misfit Monday – Who the Bleep Wants to Be a Tarot Reader?”

  1. A powerful, heart-felt post, Lisa. I’m still not sure about how psychic I am, but I can definitely get behing the misfit bit 😀 I also really resonate with the bit about being a lightworker in the dark, and a shadow worker called to the light – that push-pull tugs at me strongly. Thank you for sharing, and for the spread 😉

    1. Thanks Chloe, glad to hear you felt it was relatable. There is only one way to find out how psychic you are and that is to start actively developing your clairs. Hope you have fun with the spread! 🙂

  2. Life-long misfit here. I was raised that way – my patriarchal and maternal religions are mismatched and historically have been at each other’s throats (literally. There have been wars over this). So I was raised to have little to do with either of them.
    And yet spirituality is important to me. However, I don’t know how to go about HAVING that, and the New Agey stuff is certainly not it. Like Western Yoga (which is different from actual yoga, being built on the shoulders of cultural appropriation), New Age Spirituality is a thin veneer barely lining the surface of a toxic soup. For instance, how victim-blamey is it to say that your thoughts attract what happens, and then to blame it on the Law of Attraction (spelled that way) which is not a law. I took enough science to know that that’s not how laws work at all! How much do we blame the victim to say that it’s their fault that bad things happen to them because they ‘manifest’ the bad things with their thoughts? We know through decades of trauma research that that’s not the case. And to have that wrapped in a package of “love and light!?” Ugh. No thank you. I can find that darkness just fine without it being called “spirituality.”

    But what other option do I have for healing?

    1. I totally agree about the victim blaming and have spoken out about that on the blog in the past as well. However, not all New Age Teachers are proponents of that version of New Age spirituality. Have you checked out Caroline Myss? You might get on with her teachings. The other thing, of course, is to create your own direct link with Spirit and harness the guidance from spirit guides and the angelic realm.

  3. Read this blog; totally get it. I’ve been a misfit all of my life, though as a child didn’t read tarot I just knew things. I’m still a misfit and understanding that just makes me stronger; and I don’t waste energy, time, resources trying to fit in.

    What I don’t get is that other people feel/ think they have aright to tell you/ comment on your behaviour, choices, attitude etc. One person recently called me a coward because I’m terrified of snakes, and can’t really deal with seeing them on TV or in pictures. Even the snake card in the Lennies sometimes gives me the heebejeebies!

    Another person, in front of others, called me naughty, because I’d made a comment about the fact that my husband enjoys reflexology. ( he’s actually very gifted psychically yet has never talked about it until recently) I still don’t understand why the comment was made however I’ll find out. The person is older than me, recovered from illhealth, I’ve always shown them kindness understanding and consideration.

    Anyway brilliant article.

    I don’t want to Jon any club that would have me as a member. Groucho Marx.

    1. Thanks Jane! ‘Just knowing things’ is claircognizance and that happens to be my main clair too. As for the people who feel a need to keep a running commentary, I usually find a way of distancing myself very quickly these days. I just don’t want that in my life and I don’t spend time trying to figure out why they said what they said any more either.

  4. Thank you for sharing!
    Social media has helped so much to find kindred folk.
    I was a ‘weird’ child and have often been asked ‘can’t you just be normal?!’ The answer is ‘NO!’
    Being authentic takes courage. I have failed sometimes, and withdrawn in pain – literally becoming ill. Healing has taken a while each time. Somehow the light inside has stayed on and I have stumbled through my journey and accepted that I am a fringe dweller.
    I was brought up in an English ‘Roman’ Catholic and Protestant household and found my own heroine ‘Mrs Do as you would be done by’ in the Water Babies.
    My premonitions and ‘knowing’ scared me – then I found Tarot, (in the early 70’s) and knew that this was my tool.
    Now I am an Old Crone and feel quietly strong and blessed to have found my tribe.
    Blessings

    1. My pleasure, Annie and thank you for sharing in return. Disease is viewed by shamans as lack of harmony between self, the environment and spirit. We bring harmony and integrity by sharing our journeys with each other. I’m blessed to know you!

  5. I have got HP in position 2. However I feel like there’s no hope finding my place in this world. Definitely a misfit! I’m 30 as well..

    1. Leyla, sweetie, I had no idea who I was or what I was capable at 30. Hang in there and work with people who can help you get to where you want to be. I’m 47 now and feel that I’m only now able to start owning my power. I’m fairly sure you can get there sooner if you seek guidance and support in the right places. Remember, you are not alone on this journey. Not only are there human spiritual teachers, healers and seers that can assist you on your journey, you have a whole team of angels and spirit guides supporting you too – You just need to learn to tune in! <3

  6. I love reading your blog. I’m definitely a misfit. I’m still a Christian and even go to church sometimes, but I read tarot and oracle cards and do Reiki with myself. I’ve done a few readings for my Reiki clients and my kids, but never actually charged for a reading. I’m not even sure I’m a psychic, although after doing Reiki, I pick up strong things about people. It’s as though the Reiki strengthens my psychic abilities. So, I don’t really fit in the Christian world properly but I also don’t really fit in the “new age” world totally as I believe in Jesus and I don’t really get all the past life and law of attraction / consciousness stuff. So, yes, I’m pretty much a misfit. 🙂 I do believe in Grace. 🙂 I can’t wait to do this spread.

  7. Hi Lisa,it’s funny reading this post and realising that I understand the emotions and feelings behind it. I’ve always had an interest in the “inexplicable” but always tried to find a sound scientific reason for it. In a way still do. Don’t believe in religion or the church, specially Christianity, Judaism, Islam, etc any and all religion the professes the “power” of one individual to be the One. I believe in the power from within.
    In the last few months due to personal upheaval, I decided to use the negative for good and embarked on my defining moment. Cleaned my body, mind and soul and rediscovered the force of one, the force of me as well as dwelved deeper into the studies of my subconscious, vibrational messages and signs, the “occult” and more. In this I rediscovered tarot cards and readings. I’m still avidly learning and understanding the cards and understanding my own readings as well.
    I bought myself one tarot deck (which now I own 3!) and started doing spreads for myself and started to get more fascinated by them and by my understanding intuitively of the cards and what they meant. My first objective was to see if me and my ex would reunite as she was, and still is, the love of my life but now I’m increasingly looking for the cards for inspiration and clarification, besides learning about it deeper. I’ve even have “plans”, ideas of designing my own deck one day.
    I always felt that I had a gift, a sixth sense if you will, I still do, but I still haven’t pinpointed what it is exactly, so am looking forward to getting home and later on when I feel the moment is right do this spread and hopefully start to understand what it is exactly.
    Well, apologies for the long post but I just felt the urge to write all this out of a sudden.
    Love and light,
    Paulo

    1. Absolutely NO need to apologise for that wonderful comment or for sharing your own soul journey. Loved reading it! So many of us get pulled in through doing love readings for ourselves – Yep, me too! But then you start to realise how much more there is to the Tarot… I feel excited for you – it’s quite the journey you have embarked on!! I hope you enjoy playing with the spread and that you gain some insights from it. Love and Light, Lisa

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