This is a rather lengthy public service announcement. I’m saying goodbye to all Judeo-Christian, monotheistic, and patriarchal programming. This includes divorcing Jesus. That is the biggie for me. The person of Jesus acts as a security blanket for so many of us, even after we reject the notion of the need for a Saviour… but I’m ready to say, ‘Goodbye, Jesus’ now. This, in turn, means that I’m finally ready to embrace my Starseed mission.
Tentative Steps on the Path of Deconstructing my Beliefs for 30+ Years
It wasn’t long after I was baptised into an independent fundamentalist Baptist church in South Carolina during my High School exchange year, that I started questioning some tenets of my new faith. We are going all the way back to 1987 now so please bear with me.
What I found psychotic, to say the least, was that my fellow believers blindly accepted that a loving God would throw everyone who didn’t have the exact right theological mind-construct as they into a lake of fire, to be punished for all eternity. I remember saying even then that I didn’t believe that. Yet I carried on as a ‘believer.’ Talk about off-the-chart cognitive dissonance!
Then, about eight years later, my grandmother, a staunch non-believer, died. This meant I had to face some of my cognitive dissonance head-on. Where had the soul of my non-Christian nan gone? Would she be suffering for all eternity? Nope. No part of me could manage to believe that. And if it were true anyway, I’d have to ditch any god that cruel.
But I didn’t ditch ‘God.’ Why? I had invested so much of my social life into the church. My then-husband was a 7th generation preacher’s son. I had put up with so much already to be part of my ‘church family.’ This replacement family had taken the place of my own abusive and dysfunctional birth family. I couldn’t afford to lose yet another family!
Maybe I could still keep at least part of my faith and find another church family? Maybe Catholicism was the way to go? I had some Catholic friends in my mid-20s who seemed to know what they were talking about. As a bonus, unlike my Evangelical church family, they didn’t judge me for studying to become a dance teacher (all forms of dancing were considered a sin).
Also, as someone who had always been drawn to all things magical and mystical, I soon found that Mass was nothing short of a magical ritual, complete with resplendent occult symbolism and yummy incense fumes. What’s not to love, right?
A whole lot, as it turned out. Smelling the odor of victimhood on me, some members of Opus Dei soon got their talons into me. I was recruited to teach dance for one of their youth activities. Free of charge, of course. All proceeds went to the Priests. Hallelujah!
The sense of never being good enough. The overwhelming sense of shame and guilt for anything to do with existing in a female body. All of that took on new, epic proportions, as I learned from the female Opus Dei members that being a woman was particularly bad. Women should use the more extreme forms of flagellation due to their natural propensity for sinning… apparently. Wearing a spike belt (spikes digging into the flesh) around your thigh and sleeping on the floor without a mattress was some of the treats you got as a female follower of Josemaría Escrivá’s Opus Dei teachings.
When you already suffer from depression and anxiety, it becomes easy to accept things that no normal, healthy human being should ever accept. This included the humiliation of going to weekly confession in my local Opus Dei-run Catholic church. It was one such shame-fest session that lead to my lucky escape from Catholicism though.
I had gone into the confessional with the intent of purging myself of the hatred of my abusive and narcissistic parents. On some level, I knew that holding onto this hatred was causing me harm. What I didn’t realise was the deep need for healing under the guidance of a compassionate healer. Instead I wittingly–like the good little victim I was–put myself in harm’s way yet again.
As soon as I had made my confession, I started crying so hard that I could barely breathe. The response from the priest? He shouted, ‘You are not here to cry; You are here to confess your SINS!’ I apologised and did my best to quieten down. I even think I said my Hail Marys before leaving the church…
But as I walked out there, I vowed to never return. And I kept my vow.
Not Done Yet
Was I done with religion after this? Not yet. It wasn’t that simple. All my friends were still Christians and I really didn’t have much of a life outside my two church circles of Evangelical and Catholic friends. I was also still married to a Christian man.
It took a divorce for me to pluck up the courage to finally leave and stop going to church altogether.
Yet I found it hard to leave Jesus and the concept of a Saviour behind. I prayed to God to show me that I would be okay if I left the church.
That night, I had a dream. The figure of a man was enthroned above a waterfall. I was lifted from the bottom of the waterfall by invisible hands until I was eye to eye with this figure. He beamed with love. There was no exchange of words.
When I woke up, I decided this must have been Jesus and that he was okay with me leaving the church. Everything was going to be okay.
Fast Forward to 2020
I’m not going to go into detail about all the different steps I had to go through on my journey of deconstructing the Christian faith. Some of you who have followed my work for a while now will recall the Doreen Virtue debacle. This had a massive impact on me but I sleep-walked my way through a lot of it.
My final wake-up call came in March 2020 with the 666 sign on my kitchen scales. Now that I have studied and know a bit more about the corrupt document that is the Book of Revelation, I can safely say that this sign didn’t mean what I initially thought it meant. Nevertheless, it was a wake-up call.
When you receive a call like this, it’s just as easy to decide to go even deeper into the sleeping state instead of waking. That is what I did and, sadly, it put me on the same fundamentalist trajectory as my old teacher and nemesis, Doreen.
However, thanks to my previous experiences and studies, it took me less than six months to start the process of disentanglement from Evangelical Christianity this time around.
The Final Three Threads
Before I was ready to divorce all of Abrahamic religion, including Jesus and the entire concept of salvationism, three final threads had to be cut. The first thread is perhaps the most obvious in light of the past two years.
The mass formation that took place, effective of March 2020, made me have to look into psychological mechanisms. This was true both on a personal level and on the level of the collective. It very early on became apparent to me that the great masses were being locked into some kind of victim-perpetrator paradigm, complete with Stockholm syndrome that saw many beg to be enslaved further.
It wasn’t a big jump from there to realise that Abrahamic religion does the very same thing and was, in fact, the template used. I had an aha-moment about six months ago and remember telling my husband, ‘You know what, I think the Hebrew religion was born from collective PTSD.’
Of course, a religion that is born from PTSD will look those that adhere to it into a perpetual victim-perpetrator pattern. This, as John Lamb Lash points out in his book ‘Not in His Image‘ is exactly what salvationism does.
A clear sign that all three Abrahamic religions are toxic and authoritarian, just like the regimes perpetrating the scamdemic on their peoples, is censorship. You are not allowed to question dogma, just as you are now not allowed to question ‘the science’ (aka scientism).
To be forced to place one’s faith in a Saviour is incredibly disempowering. It also does away with the need for mankind to evolve by facing any kind of intellectual challenges. Having been in the church solidly for a whole decade, I can vouch for the fact that it promotes stunting of intellectual growth.
That’s not to say that all believers are intellectually stunted. But even those who are not, are forced to live with massive cognitive dissonance. Consider, for instance, the many contradictions in the supposed ‘Word of God.’
Reconnecting with My Ancestors
The final thread that helped me free myself from Abrahamic religion was reconnecting with the pre-Christian faith of my ancestors and the ancestors themselves. It became apparent upon doing so why monotheistic religions will not allow for ancestral worship or communication with the ancestors.
Our ancestors have returned to the womb of Gaia-Sophia and know the truth about the Big Lie of monotheistic, Abrahamic religion. They know how it cuts us off from the Organic Light of Nature and all living beings.
Ready for My Starseed Mission
Having cut these three threads: mass psychosis, salvationism, and being denied contact with the ancestors, I am finally ready to embrace my Starseed mission fully. I can do so while lovingly embracing my human experience and connection to Earth Mother, Gaia-Sophia.
The Christ myth is especially pernicious to Starseeds whose mission is to inspire others on their journey through life. If I have ever disempowered you with salvationist thoughts, please accept my heartfelt apologies. There will be no more of those from me. Ever. You are not damaged goods in need of saving by any outside source… and especially not by ‘Jehovah.’
As Starseeds, we are not here to rescue humanity (that would be another form of salvationism). The mission to inspire is a different one. It begins with knowing ourselves fully. The end goal is simple: to be authentically able to radiate our essence into the world without any programming, whether human or archontic. I hope to do just that in service to Gaia-Sophia who is currently course correcting, in loving co-creation with those of us who are awake.
The Figure of Christ
Finally, I wish to acknowledge that many of you have a relationship with the Christ figure on the inner planes. It is entirely possible to have this kind of relationship with an entirely mythological figure. Whether they existed in the third dimension or not, they can still guide those who seek their guidance.
How? Thanks to the power of the imagination. It is this power that you must learn to wield in ways that set you free from the dictates of outside sources. For this is the greatest power of all.
This is the power that the Archons cannot replicate and this is why they (out of envy) wish to remake us in their image through AI, as foretold by the Gnostics 2,000 years ago.
“You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.”Mark Twain