Isn’t it great when you reach a place in your life when the thought ‘I can’t go on like this’ fills you with excitement rather than dread? This happens when experience teaches us that this thought is a catalyst for transformation and a chance for us to get real about the things that truly matter. What we must do when we have this thought is to realise that we are out of whack. Taking any further action from that out-of-alignment place will only lead to more frustration, so the focus must be on alignment with our Higher Self and going within. I liken this state to the 8 of Cups in its ‘divine discontent’ aspect (as opposed to the constant restlessness of the ego).
Sometimes the thought goes a bit more like ‘What the fuck was that?!’ and you realise that the world will never be the same again because Life just hit you over the head with a 2×4 and a relationship, job or home that you had gotten comfortably used to (perhaps even to the point of taking it for granted) is gone all of a sudden. This would be more of a Tower than an 8 of Cups moment. After the initial shock, this too can, with a bit of mindfulness and much self-compassion, lead to a moment of excitement about the new opportunities that lie ahead.
Yet other times the bringer of change looks more like The Devil. When we discover this energy acting from our subconscious mind, pulling us down time and time again, in spite of our best intentions, we have to get really fucking real about our own darkness and the ill-informed choices that we keep making in spite of knowing that we shouldn’t. This kind of change takes real courage, moral fortitude and a healthy helping of grace.
Ever since opening up to the Divine Feminine back in April, I’ve had a mix of all three cards guide me on my path to aligning with my True or Higher Self. The thing about the Divine Feminine is that she is completely honest about emotions and when we let her into our hearts we can’t sneak those dark feelings past Her. She bitch slaps us and sits us down, while our heart is pounding and our cheeks go red with both shame and indignation.
You can typically hear her say, ‘Did you just think that about one of your sisters?,’ ‘Is this really how you define spiritual business?’ and ‘You do realise that’s what envy looks like, right?’ She doesn’t do this to shame us, even though the ego would have us believe that’s the motive. She’s trying to get us to admit these types of thoughts to ourselves so that we can finally accept the darkness within. Acceptance is ALWAYS the first step in the process of transmuting negative energy to positive, darkness to light.
Her next step is to take you by the hand and ask you what you intend to do about it. She’ll look you square in the eye and ask you ‘Are you serious about wanting to change? Are you willing to make the necessary sacrifices? Are you willing to reach deep within and keep pulling out the evil by the root in prayer, contemplation and meditation? Are you willing to keep going even if it means the end of the world as you know it?’
There can be only one answer and that answer is ‘Yes! Will you please guide me and keep me safe?’
And then she turns from slayer goddess back into gentle Divine Mother.
As for what exactly is changing for me, some of it is blatantly obvious but has more to do with things I need to stop doing rather than exactly how to move forward… But then this is to be expected in Eclipse season and I expect things will become apparent by the time Mercury goes direct in September. This overlap with Mercury going retrograde halfway through Eclipse season is THE best medicine for completely shedding the false layers of self. In fact, I suspect resistance will be futile to those of us who have devoted our lives to serving the Light.
Divine guidance often comes to us in dreamtime. This is because subtle guidance is more easily received and accepted when the conscious mind lies dormant. Quite commonly, this guidance comes in the form of animal medicine. I had one such dream last night…
In the dream, a tiny black kitten emerged from under our bedroom floor and it was followed by a salamander. This was the second dream ever I’d had about a black kitten and the first time I’d had a dream involving a salamander. It also felt significant due to how vibrant and larger than life the detailed events of the dream felt. I won’t bore you with all the details but here is my reading:
THE MYSTICAL SIGN SPREAD
1. What is the main idea connected with this sign? The World. A new chapter is about to close and I am moving forward with much gratitude in my heart for all the lessons I have learned so far.
2. Who/what is behind this idea? Knight of Swords. This happens to be my birthday courtier so I see this as a sign that it is my Higher Self trying to communicate important truths. All Knights are on a quest and this Knight is the one on a quest for the Truth…
3. How can I implement the idea of this sign/miracle in my life? 10 of Wands. This is where I feel the Salamander really comes in. 10 of Wands corresponds with Saturn in Sagittarius and is sometimes titled ‘oppression.’ I must allow all the things that limit me be purged by the Fire of the Divine now.
4. What will the outcome be if I implement this idea? The Fool. Pure potential. A return to the zero point without any karmic burdens – Free to start the next cycle without the baggage.
5. Potential challenge along the way. Justice. Finding balance and harmony in my human relationships.
I want to pass this message along from Her: You get to decide what is in your past. Don’t worry about having a past – we all have one. But you do need to put what no longer serves you on your Path of Divine Service in the past. It could be toxic substances, abusive/manipulative relationships, that job that fills you with anxiety every morning because you know it’s SO not what you are here to do… And it could also be things you don’t do: recycling, staying in touch with family, engaging with your community, charity work…
The Devil will keep whispering that there is no use. He will tell you that you can’t change. He will confuse you and try to make you believe that the ego you is the REAL you. He will try to make you think that you are at the mercy of your mind and emotions and – what’s worse – that there is no point in changing that because the world sucks… and there is nothing you can do to make a difference.
Which of these lies do you tell yourself?
Last night, I randomly found a podcast in a newsletter. I had this inner ‘click’ to listen to it and it reminded me that NOW is the time to get serious about our mission and calling. It’s an interview with a guy called Joshua who has died four times and lives to tell the story. His first two deaths brought visions about our planet’s ascension and the whole interview drove home the point that the choices we make DO matter. It reminded me of my own OBE and how that set me on a path that I – just like Joshua – erred from. Have a listen if you need some inspiration.
It’s time to get real, folks. Use this Eclipse season well! God’s prodigal children are coming home and we are arriving by the thousands… are you on your way home?