There are times when our awakening journey unfolds in ways that are extremely painful. The good news is that it is those times that typically lead to deeper initiations. As we approach the Full Moon in Scorpio Lunar Eclipse, Spirit is guiding me to write about how to cope with and transmute such pain. I was also inspired to create a Tarot spread for this (scroll down).
The pain is as much part of the journey as the bliss so today, we are looking at how to accept it and then alchemize it in the chamber of our hearts. For the astrology specifics of this total lunar eclipse, I recommend Pam Gregory’s forecast which covers the first half of May, including the Full Moon in Scorpio.
Your First Real Tears
Your first real tears, as an adult, may very well start flowing when you realise that you have wasted most of your life on living a lie. This is because you lived according to the dictates of another (or several others) rather than from your heart and your Higher Self. If you are a melancholy sort of person to start with, the weight of this realisation can feel like it threatens to crush you.
Your ego mind might be quick to tell you that it’s too late to rectify your mistakes and start living according to your mission blueprint. Of course, you’re more likely to feel this way if you have this kind of awakening in your later years. Nevertheless, the ego is a liar even then. It is never too late to turn our lives around and start living the authentic version of ourselves.
You did your best with what you had and what you knew. There really is no point in beating yourself up. And please understand that it does take more than one lifetime to get this right for all of us, so cut yourself some slack!
Scorpio, the Great Initiator
It is no coincidence that Scorpio corresponds with the Death card in the Tarot. In order to achieve the next level of initiation, another part of the ego must die before it can be alchemised and resurrected.
The ego will resist this with all it has. The feeling of being at war with yourself can be very real… because it is. One of the tricks the ego has to shut the process of initiation down is to literally tell you that you’d be better off dead than going through the process of transformation. It will be quick to provide all kinds of reasons for this as well.
Just be patient when it kicks off. Look at it with kindly eyes, as you would at a toddler throwing a tantrum in the supermarket.
Because the initiatory power of Scorpio will be magnified during this eclipse, you can expect an even bigger tantrum from your ego if you are on an ascension journey and consciously working on developing spiritually. This is not happening to punish you, nor is it happening because you are so terribly unevolved (though your ego might like to make that exact point). It is simply par for the course. Just know that you are not alone in this.
And just realise that if you are using the momentum of this eclipse for further initiations into the mysteries, you have essentially fastened yourself to a turbo-boosted initiation rocket. It’s gonna hurt. But it’s going to be so worth it.
The Angel of Scorpio and the Death Card
It’s important to remember that you are not expected to cope with this pain on your own. You can always invoke celestial guidance and assistance. Call, for instance, on Archangel Azrael, the angel associated with Scorpio. He can comfort you. You still have to feel the pain that is yours to feel, of course. However, you won’t fall over the edge into the kind of despair that you can’t climb back out of. Just knowing that we are watched over and that there is some kind of safety net is usually helpful.
I personally also like to call on Isis/Mother Mary. She helps us feel the warm motherly embrace of the Divine Feminine during this part of the journey. Perhaps you would also like to connect with Archangel Raphael for healing and heart alchemy. Or connect with Archangel Chamuel for courage as you face your initiation challenge.
So before reading with the Tarot spread below, call on any of these angelic beings as well as your Spirit Team. Light a candle and vow to not allow any unkind self-talk. This is a sacred time and you are Divine.
Full Moon in Scorpio Eclipse Tarot Spread
- The trigger
- The pain
- Part of the Self that seeks to be integrated
- What wisdom you gained while making ‘mistakes’
- How you can put this wisdom to work for the Highest Good
- How to move forward more fully integrated