Hey, lovers, how are things? Happy and well in the relationship? Or is the stress of everyday living taking its toll? Perhaps you could do with an empathic listening ear and some solid relationship advice? Well, you’re in luck… We have 22 relationship counselors gathered here today!
The Tarot Major Arcana cards are sharing their best tips on how to make your relationship work.
Pull a card for your relationship and look up the interpretation in the list below. Most of the advice does relate to all of us but by pulling just one card will help you get more of a focus on something you can do or bear in mind to improve your relationship. Pay close attention to how well the advice of your Tarot counselor resonates and no worries if it doesn’t resonate at all. Just put it in the back of your mind – it may come in handy at a later date.
The Fool: Be more like a child… be in the present moment (make it a Present to yourself!) and get down on the floor. Play games. Be silly! Spend time with children and grandchildren. Lay off the expectations and give your partner (and other family members) the freedom you want for yourself.
The Magician: Communicate. Don’t expect your partner to be a mind reader. Just because you remember all family birthdays or their favourite meals, doesn’t mean that they do. Use words of love and peace to set the tone… Apply the golden rule (treat them as you would like to be treated) and you won’t go far wrong if you do!
The High Priestess: Yes, I agree with The Magician – communication is the key… but don’t forget to truly listen. Sometimes the best gift you can give your partner is to truly listen to them. Reflecting back to them what they said is part of active listening and makes them feel heard and appreciated.
The Empress: You can quite easily get so caught up in catering to everyone else’s (including your partner’s) needs that you forget about yourself and you may not even notice until the stress levels are so high that you succumb to a thundering migraine or some other dis-ease. My top tip is to spend some time pampering yourself.
The Emperor: Communication can fail if planning fails and vice versa. Writing to-do lists might be extremely helpful, especially if you have the in-laws over for a big family meal etc. Support each other in staying organised and don’t be afraid to pick up the slack if you finish your task before your partner.
The Hierophant: Don’t underestimate the power of tradition. Creating new traditions together as a couple brings you closer and works as a long-term binding force. Documenting your traditions and celebrations for future generations will allow the joy generated to spill over into the future and gives you a legacy to pass on to grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
The Lovers: All is well. Your minds and hearts are aligned perfectly. ‘If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,’ springs to mind.
The Chariot: Hold up on the power struggles! You need to start pulling together in the right direction as a team. You also need to remember to be respectful of each other’s personal boundaries. It is true that couples who are happiest together aren’t the ones who are most alike but who show the most respect for their partner’s differences.
Strength: Give from the heart and be as magnanimous as possible. Generosity is a trait cherished by all except the miser. But more important than gifts are kindness and compassion. If you notice that you start getting snappy with your Beloved, you need a time out – you let the stress build up too far! Frankincense is a good scent for soothing frayed nerves.
The Hermit: Be more understanding than ever of your partner’s need for me-time. They may be taking longer than ready in the bathroom because they need to just be and breathe… Don’t rush or crowd each other – it’s not worth it!
The Wheel of Fortune: Do more of the things together which expand both your horizons and bring you joy. If one of you always feels they have to sacrifice and accommodate the needs of the other, you may not be right for each other.
Justice: Focus on harmony. Vow to make the relationship a drama-free zone. Make a list of three things that put you in a serene state of mind. Make sure you always have these three things close to hand when you are experiencing the stress of the Christmas holidays etc. It can be anything… music, essential oils, crystals… or just nipping out for a 20 minute walk to calm down.
The Hanged Man: You are more likely to be successful if you can both focus on higher ideals, compassion and divine service. Talking about what divine service means to you might give your partner a new perspective and move you a bit closer to a shared vision.
Death: Something about this relationship has outlived its purpose. It now has to end to give room for transformation and rebirth… Is it perhaps the relationship itself? You know the answer.
Temperance: Temperance can actually literally mean temperance. The risk of drama increases when the wine flows a bit too liberally. Light the fire in other ways instead of relying on cheap tricks that give you a hangover or make you liverish the next day.
The Devil: Don’t fall into the victim trap. Are you being co-dependent on purpose or can you just not see your own shadow? Acknowledge the shadow in yourself instead of poking at your partner’s less desirable traits and you will soon make astounding progress… Or find that it simply wasn’t meant to be. Don’t cling to that which makes you unfree.
The Tower: I’m sorry but I’m going to contradict the Hierophant. It’s not that I disagree completely but there are times when you simply must break with tradition. Don’t be afraid to do your own thing or to assert your needs. And remember that if disaster strikes, you have a wonderful opportunity to start with a fresh slate.
The Star: Focus on your friendship. You may or may not have any extra energy to spare for romance with your partner but you can ALWAYS be good friends!
The Moon: Secrets are not always a bad thing. The ability to surprise your partner with a gift they never in a million years expected will live on in their hearts for a very long time.
The Sun: Focus on fun. Happiness is a choice – every single day… even during stressful times. Learn to quickly choose happiness again after something disappointing happens and you will serve as a shining example of someone who self-generates their joy.
Judgement: Remember that there is no need for blame if/when things go ‘wrong’ – everybody is doing their best. A relationship is a bit like a massive jigsaw and the number one thing that makes the pieces jam is expectations. Simply be with what is. Here is a little thing The Fool taught me the other day: Learn to think/say ‘That is interesting…’ instead of judging a situation as positive/negative and you will have instant peace!
The World: See the bigger picture. A phase of the relationship or in your life is drawing to a close. Thank your partner and praise them for what they did right. Share your vision for the future… and most of all, don’t forget to celebrate the smallest of victories to the full!